The Rumors Of Bacon’s Death Were Greatly Exaggerated

The world sighed with relief when it was announced that there would not be a worldwide bacon shortage. There was dancing in the streets and people copulated ecstatically upon hearing that they could still feast on fried swine flesh. It all started last week when the UK's National Pork Association announced that a "A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable,". People began to horde bacon by the truckload. Mothers threatened to kill their babies rather than see them grow up in a world without delicious strips of pork belly. Then experts on food distribution and markets stated that though prices may temporarily go up, there won't be a true shortage. So, gobble up your bacon fatty, there will be more.