The ‘PlayStation Pervert’ Caught Touching Himself In Electronics Store

Sometimes, there are no words. When you're presented with a headline like Guy caught pleasuring himself over a PlayStation in front of shoppers, for instance. That'll be one of those times, right there.

No. Goddamn. Words. Still, I'd be shirking my duties if I didn't try and type something at your faces, so here goes. Said headline hit The Lad Bible yesterday, and it tells the charming story of a dude caught whacking himself off in an electronics store.

‘CCTV footage shows the guy playing with his joystick in front of the console despite the fact there are other people just feet away… the store's manager was informed about the Playstation pervert and he arrived seconds later to throw the guy out,' they report.

 We don't know where the store is, or which chain, but it's good to see that their don't-have-a-wank-in-the-games-consoles-aisle policy is strictly enforced. Because, natch, that can be quite a gray area, and it's nice to know where you stand. Which electronics stores can you masturbate in? Not this one, buddy boy. That's the message here.

Now, two things are clear. The first is that ‘PlayStation pervert' is the greatest phrase in the history of mankind. The second is that, is any story/video was ever made to go viral, it's this one. Embrace the NSFW (if you can) right here:

As for the rest of you Ego-gamers. It's all very well to be excited about the console's prospects, what with new content for big exclusives like Bloodborne and huge next-gen releases like Fallout 4 in the pipeline. But please, keep it in your pants. At the very least, keep the sweet, sweet forbidden love betwixt man and machine in the privacy of your own homes.