Michael Garcia - October 12, 2016
I never read Fifty Shades of Grey, (because I'm not a bored suburban housewife), but I did see the movie. I was curious about the international phenomenon and Dakota Johnson is sexy so I thought, why not? Because it is downright unwatchable is why not. I never thought that a movie about kinky sex could be simultaneously so boring and unsexy. It was about as exciting asÂ watching two beige pair of pants humping in a laundry basket. I kept wishing it would end but it kept going for what seemed like years. There are sequels coming out in the next couple of years, of course, and they will probably suck just as much. If only there was something that the filmmakers could do to liven things up a bit. Like add puppets, for example.Â
The good folks at Darth Blender took the audio from the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer and edited in clips of Kermit and Miss Piggy. It's disturbing, but in a good way. They should really think about recasting the live action movie of Fifty Shades with puppets. That's because a hunk a foam and a green sock have more sexual chemistry than Dakota Johnson and that dude in the movie.Â
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