The MTV Europe Music Awards Almost Entirely Craptastic Save For A Patch of Sextastic

A couple months ago, I was trying to think about what could possibly be worse than the the MTV Music Awards, what with all the Jersey Shore pimping and Justin Bieber pretending to be lesbian gangsta and the shout-out to horribly craptastic pop music acts popular among young girls who wear scented lip gloss and whose high school ambition is to be invited to the Rainbow Party at Lisa's house. Well, I totally forgot about the MTV Europe Music Awards. Let's face it, Europe, you're pretty cool in so many areas. We respect your liberal views on sexuality and nudity, your regionally delicious cuisines, and the way you haven't told Greece to go eff itself quite yet, but when it comes to craptastic teeny bopper music, you may even have the ole U.S. beatdown in an auto-tuned showdown. Throw in the fact that MTV brought over some of its D-listers from America to complement the evening, and the MTV Europe Music Awards were a pure and unadulterated ode to the obnoxious.

That is, save for the hotties. Not much, oh, not much, but definitely some sporadic bits of super awesome, not the least of which were supermodel and finally get sexed again, Bar Refaeli, fellow international drop dead sexy bomb, Irina Shayk, J-Woww (okay, Jersey Shore but let's give it up for how they've made her over), Selena Gomez, and the more locally brewed hotness of Jennifer Metcalfe. Outside of this pocket of heat, not so much. Even the guy who streaked across the stage during the show was limp. Enjoy.