The iPhone 5 Maps Look Like A Salvador Dali Painting

Nerds and people with no jobs have been waiting in line for days for tomorrow's release of the iPhone 5. Our lives will once again be given meaning and purpose by Apple's latest duddad. The phone looks pretty cool...except for the map feature. Earlier versions of the iPhone came preloaded with Google Maps, which admittedly suck. Many times I've ended up in random dark rape alleys when I actually wanted to go to Starbucks. So, Apple thought it would come up with their own map function. Only...it too sucks, at least for now. Towns are missing, streets go nowhere, and directions are incomplete. For instance, in England, Willy Shakespeare's hometown of Stratford Upon Avon is completely gone. The biggest problem is that Apple thought they would be cool and make the maps look all 3D, like Avatar except with the route to the Chili's. It often looks like you are driving through a Salvador Dali painting. Look at the above picture. It shows the route out of lower Manhattan and over the Brooklyn Bridge. It looks like the on-ramp plaza has melted and the bridge is suspended underwater. If I listened to the iPhone 5 I would drive right into the East River. Thanks a lot, Apple. Now I'm dead.