The Horror! Sriracha Shipments Halted!

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bill-swift - December 13, 2013

Tragedy! Sriracha sauce will not ship any more bottles of the delectable sauce until at least mid-January. We told you about the evil citizens of Irwindale, CA that sued the company because they didn't like the smell that came off the plant. As if any human with a soul and a heart could not love the smell of red spicy rooster sauce! The California department of health has halted the output of Sriracha until they can make sure that the factory isn't spewing anything gross into the atmosphere. Nonsense. I mean, I'm not really sure what goes into Sriracha. It's possible that there is plutonium and panda eyeballs in it for all I know. But whatever. I thought, growing up in Texas, that I understood hot sauce. Then one day I tried Sriracha and it changed my life.What am I going to do now? How will my life find meaning in a world without Sriracha?

Here is hoping that it comes back soon. We'll keep you in the loop. Pray for the cock (rooster)!

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