chris-littlechild - September 2, 2016
Â Everyoneâ€™s so dependent on their fancy-ass tech these days. You know those snarky pictures of trees that do the rounds on Facebook? â€˜If only these things gave us wifi, instead of just the air we breathe, weâ€™d take better care of themâ€™? Thatâ€™s not too far from todayâ€™s attitude, right there. For people today, there are five horsemen of the apocalypse: War, Plague, Famine, Pestilence and Briefly Losing Broadband Connection And Having To Haul Your Lazy Ass Into The Next Room To Restart The Router. And theyâ€™re only assed about the last one. Â
What is all this techtastic doing to us? Are we all becoming social media-obsessed, impotent (cell phone radiation from keeping it in your pocket) lazyasses? Well, yes. Yes we are. Fear not though, Ego-gents. Like alcohol, technology is great at fixing as many problems as it causes. Meet the Eyeforcer.
This Kickstarter gem, Destructoid reports, â€˜is a set of eyeglasses that don't have frames in them, and they appear to use a gyroscope to check the angle a child is holding their head at while using a tablet or other handheld device. If the glasses detect that the wearer is slouching or has their head down for more than a second, it pushes a warning to the device, and the parent can decide how many warnings the child gets before the device shuts off entirely.â€™
It sounds a little harsh, but youâ€™d be amazed how many issues bad posture can cause. Including some that were completely effing made up in the Eyeforcer ad to sell the thing, like â€˜Tech Neckâ€™Â or â€˜Game Boy Diseaseâ€™.
Now, sure, I get a sore neck on occasion after spending too much quality time with my laptop. Iâ€™m not quite convinced about this though. Is there an adultâ€™s versionÂ that sends a powerful electric shock to your gonads whenever you slouch, rather than tattling to ma and pa?
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