ADVERTISEMENT

SUPEREGO

The Church Hates Those Stupid Hoverboards Too

Gallery Icon

bill-swift - January 1, 2016

A priest in the Philippines is in deep sanctimonious doodoo with his parish after he glided around his church on one of those ridiculous hoverboard things during Christmas mass. He has been disciplined and the Church promises it won't happen again. I fully support the Church in this action. Why? Because I hate those damn things. First of all, let's all stop calling them hoverboards. They're not. A hoverboard is what Marty McFly uses in Back to the Future 2. It HOVERS which is the operative word. These contraptions are on wheels and are basically the skateboard version of a Segway. Secondly, they are super douchey. They are illegal where I live in New York City but that doesn't stop every other a-hole kid from gliding around the sidewalk on them being a menace to everyone around them. Oh, and they catch on fire. 

I think the Church should go one step further and excommunicate any member that uses one. If you so much as climb on top of one you will spend eternity getting anally penetrated by demons in Hell. Too harsh? Not harsh enough. 

Tagged in:



Comments
Disclaimer: All rights reserved for writing and editorial content. No rights or credit claimed for any images featured on egotastic.com unless stated. If you own rights to any of the images because YOU ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHER and do not wish them to appear here, please contact us info(@)egotastic.com and they will be promptly removed. If you are a representative of the photographer, provide signed documentation in your query that you are acting on that individual's legal copyright holder status.



>