Zoo magazine

Humpday Huzzah! Sabine Jemeljanova Shares Her Sweet Teat Treats For Goodness Sake

Sabine Jemeljanova Topless in Zoo Magazine
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When you’re in love with a beautiful woman, you go it alone. Hmm, never quite understood those lyrics, until maybe now as I eyeball my object d’ lust Sabine Jemeljanova flashing her glorious peaches in Zoo magazine. Maybe having a super hot girlfriend with a ridiculously hot body would actually make you an outcast in your social circle. Your buddies would rather check out your lady then ever watch a ballgame at your place. Your female friends might just disown you, and your lecherous Uncle Ray would be talking to your girl all the time about his high school football days in his attempted sexy voice. It could be ugly, and alone.

But then you get Sabine alone time and I have to think that makes up for all the troubles and pains of the day. The undressing for the making of the sexy. Maybe if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you take an ugly girl and make her your wife. On this mid-week celebration of all things sextastic, I’ll take Sabine and an early grave. Huzzah!

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Emma Frain Topless Hotness Forever Fills My Mind and Warms My Soul

Emma Frain Topless Screencaps for ZOO Sex Issue Shoot
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You know how that guy in Beautiful Mind kept seeing imaginary friends and colleagues on the street? That’s how I am, only not nearly as smart, and perhaps a smidgeon less crazy. But I see all of my favorite girls everywhere I go. The longer I go without seeing their amazingly hot bodies, the more I see them at Starbuck’s or at the gym or just standing in my kitchen, always buck nekkid.

I really miss Emma Frain. She’s on a break from sharing her greatness I surmise. I happen to think Emma is one of the most alluring women in this entire world. What I wouldn’t give to have her teaching me about sexual education as she did in her classic Zoo magazine sex issue. Her striptease in this video remains forever in my mind, causing Emma to appear in an unbuttoned blouse pretty much wherever I turn these days. Emma, please come back soon. Everybody deserves a vacation, but nobody deserves to lose your sextastic. Enjoy.

You can check out the Emma Frain sex-ed video HERE.

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Clare Richards Is a Naturally Topless Talent

Clare Richards Topless Screencaps for Zoo January 2014
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I like girls who look like they’re having fun. There’s something to be said for that. Clare Richards looks like she’s having lots of fun in these captures from her new Zoo magazine video. I’m quite sure that I’m having fun watching her having fun. Especially when she’s doing so by removing her top and showing off one absolutely killer rack. Even Clare’s lower back tattoo seems to be reveling in its abandon.

On Thursdays, I like to think we can spend a few minutes celebrating the busty beauties that make our trains go round yet another bend, ever searching for the station. Clare Richards makes me want to be a better man, or, at least one who is more ambidextrous. Enjoy.

(If you’re so inclined, or just reclined, you can see Clare in motion in this sextastic video behind the scenes of her Zoo photoshoot.)

Check Out More Brunette Britty Topless Goodness »

Humpday Huzzah! Charlotte Springer and Rachel Ward Topless Pillow Fighting Faptastic

Charlotte Springer and Rachel Ward Topless in ZOO Magazine February 2014
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One is blonde, the other brunette. Both are faptastically blessed with funbags of glorious divination. Charlotte Springer and Rachel Ward seem to share my own lust for one another, the sweet hot and curvaceous glamour models removing their tops in Zoo magazine for one truly memorable happy girl play time pictorial.

On Wednesdays, at the very hump of the week, we celebrate the beautifully boobtastic lady humps that makes us smile from head to toe. Without alluring chest puppies, this world would be a much darker place. I shudder to think. Huzzah!

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Lacey Banghard Exhibits Her Big and Friendlies for Zoo

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Oh, Lacey Banghard, how your body does soothe my savage soul. Actually, it’s your body that’s savage, my soul is more on the leer and ogle side, but together, just the perfect match.

The former Page 3 Idol winner is featured in Zoo magazine doing what she does best, being half-nekkid in the water and showing off her epic funbags. Something about the righteous curves and bodacious body on Lacey that makes me want to curl up next to her and beg her to read me a story. Maybe something soft and comforting from the Marquis de Sade collection. A firm hand is a tender hand. Lacey, please use both on me. Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Emily Shaw Topless Treats Are Simply Divine on a Friday


Editor’s Note: some or all of the media previously associated with this post has been modified or removed.

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You know of my deep abiding lust for all things Emily Shaw. Well, perhaps it’s more like a desperate longing or an impossible desire, but as long as it contains the bodacious crazy hot body of Emily Shaw somewhere in my delusional landscape, I’m quite content. The busty chesty hottie took to the pages of Zoo magazine this month to proudly share her sweet teats, just magnificent mammaries by every stretch of the imagination and other anatomical parts.

On Fridays, we like to celebrate the boldest and most-want-to-holdest melons on this spinning gaseous orb we call the home planet. I can think of no finer pair of funbags on a more passion inducing princess than Emily Shaw. Wowzer. Thank God It’s Funbags!

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Alice Goodwin Topless Return to Barely There Lingerie Boobtastic Glory

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Something about Alice Goodwin just screams — naughty fun time. Maybe it’s the raven haired locks, or that body imported directly from my libido, or perhaps the way she seems to wear lingerie as a mere prelude to not wearing any lingerie. It just works for me.

Thanks to our friends at Zoo magazine for recognizing that mysterious brunettes with supremely hot funbags make for a lovely midweek visual snack. The kind of snack don’t need to clean up after, at least not until your buddies inquire about why your couch is such a mess and you get to tell them precisely why. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out Alice Goodwin in her ZooToday BTS Video for this crazy hot photoshoot.)