What with Snow White and The Huntsman coming out tomorrow in theaters, and we are geeked to see that mofo, everybody will once more be rejoicing in the evil hotness that is Charlize Theron in what is sure to be yet another memorable performance. And we will be the dudes who are telling all the new Charlize fans that we’ve lusted Charlize Theron for forever now, and, sure, nobody will care about our old school bragging, but we will feel proud that we’ve been seeing C.T. in our dreams since we were old enough to learn how to lock the bathroom door.
And, in honor of Charlize’s latest and greatest sextastic performance, we put together a little hotness tribute gallery of some of our favorite photos of the South African sweetness since the last millenium. Enjoy.
Rachel Bilson is another one of those magnificent creatures of the fairer and finer sex that just looks simply hot doing anything, wearing anything (or nothing), and just smiling for the camera. She’s got that special ‘it’ quality that can not be described in words, just the pleasant waves of tingly feelings she creates when your retinal cones interpret her presence and shoot emergency electric pulses directly to your libido to alert it to duty.
Even this sweet pictorial for Women’s Health magazine in South Africa, well, damn if she doesn’t look just like the girl you want to take home to meet your mama, and, by mama, I mean the backseat of your compact parked in the alley way behind the closed-down Jiffy Lube with Def Leppard’s Love Bites pumping out of the rear speakers. Not that I’ve thought of this much. Enjoy.
The hottest woman on the planet? We’ll see. But Amber Heard certainly makes me glad to be a man with tingly spots that ignite like the Fourth of July every time the amazingly hot actress appears anywhere, including making out with her lesbionic scissor sister in public. Yeah, that’s a primary bio-tingle spot as well.
Featured on the cover of the December issue of Women’s Health magazine (one of the magazines where women make other women feel horrible for not looking perfect then blame men for the way they feel) well, Amber Heard is certain to make a lot of heretofore inexperience Sapphic gals at least consider the Slot B insert on Slot B option when it comes to the making of the sexy. That’s where I’d be headed were I of the fairer sex. Enjoy.
Continuing with our ‘if you got it, flaunt it’ theme, Anna Kournikova, the tennis player forever known more for her hot cheeky looks in a tennis skirt than for her on-court performance, takes to the pages of Women’s Health magazine, a periodical dedicated to taunting the shizz out of women to get fit by posting ridiculously hot pictures of genetically-gifted celebrities with looks they can’t possibly attain. (And they say men are hard on women, not even close to the cat-on-cat psychological warfares.) Still, if a few women have to become super depressed and cosmically sullen so that we masses may ogle the sextastic bare midriff of Anna Kournikova, well, sacrifices must be made. Enjoy.
Call it the mini-pictorial send down from heaven, but these dual looks at the more than healthy body of one of our very favorite celebrities, Ashley Greene, in Women’s Health magazine from South Africa has to be one of our very favorite new wall shots of the sextastic Twilight actress. Oh, the unhealthy things I’d like to do with Ashley Greene alone in a rubber-walled room with nothing but whip cream canisters and our mutual passion for dairy products. I can’t imagine the word ‘no’ ever escaping my mouth around this ridiculously hot woman. Just crazy sexy. Enjoy.
Do you secretly Glee? Well, let’s face it, there are four, maybe five reasons to follow the show Glee, two of whom are on this site today. In this case, blonde hottie Heather Morris, one of the show’s cheerleaders (sadly, not designed for dudes, but still incredibly sexy), even more so here on the cover and pages of the June edition of Women’s Health magazine, a periodical I digest quite regularly whilst pretending to be a delivery boy to various OB/GYN offices around the city. I assume Heather has some great tips for the ladies on how to get a great bikini body, and, well, in her case it certainly seems to be working, so, listen up. And, enjoy.