Victoria's Secret Posts:

Adriana Lima Running Around Miami in Her Bra and Panties

If only it were because she had a loose screw and was finally running to the airport to come live with me in not so luxury as my letters have explained to her over the years. But, alas, it turns out that Adriana Lima, the Brazilian bombshell with the passion inducing buttons all over her body, was shooting a Victoria's Secret lingerie pictorial outdoors in Miami, flashing her undergarments to the gentleman ogler, well, at least those with a decent camera lens.

Adriana Lima is the embodiment of sultry goodness. And, boy, how I would like to examine every inch of her embodiment. Her name alone has the ability to entirely shift the blood flow of the male human body even from a great distance. She's like an X-Men with the power to force men to their knees, or at least cover up their midsections for fear of embarrassment. Mmm mutant. Enjoy.

Sara Sampaio Lingerie Asstastic Looks Reinforce Portuguese Longings

Sometimes I make a declarative statement like about how Sara Sampaio is the most amazing Portuguese woman ever, then I start to doubt myself and wonder if like the Father Pellicano used to remind me, I didn't know shit. Then I see Sara once more, as in these Victoria's Secret lingerie catalog photos and I know I must be right. I must.

Just look at this divine brunette delight, perfectly hot body barely covered and definitely cheeky in little bits of lace and satin. Oh, my, oh my, Sara, you are an absolute treasure for the eyeballs. I'm glad you're around. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures Are Ever Giving Gifts of Hot Body Goodness

I like to think people are born for different roles in life. Not that you can't alter your destiny, but you may never ultimately change your innate gifts. Candice Swanepoel was born to model lingerie. She may decide to be a doctor or a pilot or an underground sewer line maintenance worker, but there may never be a better natural lingerie model. I think we can find other people to work the sewers who don't work so perfectly in little bras and panties.

In her new photoshoot for Victoria's Secret, Candice shows the full range of her hot body and alluring promotional talents. All that and some serious self-holding funbag skills. She's a keeper. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Hot Toned Body for V.S. Sports Promotion

Doutzen Kroes remains the single most underrated angel in the V.S. arsenal and simply one of the hottest women on this entire planet.

The Dutch model was in Miami at the Victoria's Secret store showing off their whatever new sporting wear line for the ladies. I don't care what she's selling because I'm buying it, by the dozens. This woman looks good in and out of everything. And that hot mommy body, makes me want to cry a little. Not so much she thinks me a fool, just enough she offers to find me a tissue. Oh, Doutzen, we need to spend more time together sharing our deepest secrets, and such. Enjoy.

Adriana Lima Lingerie Pictures Officially Signal One Month Countdown to Valentine’s Day

I know, it seems like just yesterday you were cleaning your buddy Bob's vomit off the floor of your bathroom from a New Year's Eve party gone horribly right. But, guess what, you've got precisely one month until the mother of all treacherous days for man-kind. Valentine's Day. This is your official warning shot. The clarion call alerting you to the fork in your road that either signals wonderful making of the sexy time, or cold indifference and suffering. Usually I'd say commercials are full of sheizen, but those ads featuring grateful girls receiving Valentine's Day presents from their men and contrastingly disappointed girls receiving duds, they are pretty damn accurate. The fate of your precious bobos are at risk.

As always, I caution you to remember that your lady may or may not appear precisely as Adriana Lima despite wearing the very same lingerie. In fact, as we draw closer to the holiday, I will once again remind you why lingerie happens to be an especially risky choice for February 14th gifts. But, for now, imagine away. You have 30 days left to imagine the best. Enjoy.

Lily Aldridge Sextastic Boudoir Posing to Lift the Mind and Body

The deliciously MILFtastic Lily Aldridge pops on and off our radar around these parts, at times forgotten as the young mom takes breaks from her work, then suddenly re-appearing like a sextastic angel in the night. Or, in nightwear at least, as she does in this newly released catalog pictorial for Victoria's Secret.

The sight of a ridiculously hot woman in her bedroom little nothing still drives me to the point of self-exhaustion. I'm usually averse to ever buying women clothing, as I've spent most of my adult life trying to get clothing off of women, but if you're thinking you must, you could worse than some little things just mean to be removed off the likes of Lily Aldridge (five weeks until Valentine's Day, just saying, I know). Enjoy.

Nadine Leopold Is a Freckled Face Young Blonde Hottie of Extraordinary Potential

Victoria's Secret continues to gobble up the known universe of young hot international models, including now Nadine Leopold, who is hard to pin down on age, but around 19 and fresh out of Austrian magazines from her home country. None of which is nearly as important as Nadine's freckles. Sure, there's the newly obligatory gap-toothed look, and I do lust that, but those freckles, oh, those freckles.

Nadine reminds me somewhat of Erin Heatherton, a now fellow V.S. model who we fell in deep tissue lust with a few years ago when her freckles first broke big on the scene. If Nadine has anything close to what Erin did in store for us, minus the DiCaprio affair, I am more than excited about the future. I'm always excited about the future of freckledom. Enjoy.