Egotastic
Now, I'm told, there's nothing better than wedding night and honeymoon sex. But then I remind the people that tell me that, and, yes, then what comes next?
But, none of my cynical predictions for marital boot knocking qualitative and quantitative deficiencies will likely deter the unwed among you from considering betrothal, not after seeing Miranda Kerr in her wedding lingerie pictorial from Victoria's Secret. Oh, man, even my own bachelor self has to consider the ramifications of wedding night, err, ramifications with the new mrs, upon seeing the hotness in white that is Miranda Kerr.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, I've changed my mind, each and every one of you should leap into marriage, if, you know, you're marrying Miranda Kerr. It certainly worked for Orlando Bloom. Enjoy.
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Erin Heatherton Bikini Pictures Freckled With Caribbean Hotness
Next year, I really hope Victoria's Secret accepts my internship application for Sand Remover for all their St. Bart's bikini shoots in advance of the Spring bikini season, because I believe I would be the perfect person to remove the grains of sand stuck to the shimmering oil applied to each of the models bikini bodies during their photo turns. Granted, I might linger for extended sessions in certain areas of the body, plucking granules of sand ever so precisely, but, that's what separates the Sand Remover Craftsman from merely the dude who dusts off bodies with a beach towel. I'm up for the job.
And I'd like to have Erin Heatherton as my first assignment. Separating sand from hot freckles on the sextastic body of this fair-haired beauty, taking another turn before the cameras for yet another ridiculously hot bikini photoshoot, yeah, that'd be a labor of lust. Erin Heatherton would never feel cleaner, or, you know, dirtier, when I'm done flicking her body clean. Enjoy.