Victoria's Secret Posts:

Doutzen Kroes Hot Toned Body for V.S. Sports Promotion

Doutzen Kroes remains the single most underrated angel in the V.S. arsenal and simply one of the hottest women on this entire planet.

The Dutch model was in Miami at the Victoria's Secret store showing off their whatever new sporting wear line for the ladies. I don't care what she's selling because I'm buying it, by the dozens. This woman looks good in and out of everything. And that hot mommy body, makes me want to cry a little. Not so much she thinks me a fool, just enough she offers to find me a tissue. Oh, Doutzen, we need to spend more time together sharing our deepest secrets, and such. Enjoy.

Adriana Lima Lingerie Pictures Officially Signal One Month Countdown to Valentine’s Day

I know, it seems like just yesterday you were cleaning your buddy Bob's vomit off the floor of your bathroom from a New Year's Eve party gone horribly right. But, guess what, you've got precisely one month until the mother of all treacherous days for man-kind. Valentine's Day. This is your official warning shot. The clarion call alerting you to the fork in your road that either signals wonderful making of the sexy time, or cold indifference and suffering. Usually I'd say commercials are full of sheizen, but those ads featuring grateful girls receiving Valentine's Day presents from their men and contrastingly disappointed girls receiving duds, they are pretty damn accurate. The fate of your precious bobos are at risk.

As always, I caution you to remember that your lady may or may not appear precisely as Adriana Lima despite wearing the very same lingerie. In fact, as we draw closer to the holiday, I will once again remind you why lingerie happens to be an especially risky choice for February 14th gifts. But, for now, imagine away. You have 30 days left to imagine the best. Enjoy.

Lily Aldridge Sextastic Boudoir Posing to Lift the Mind and Body

The deliciously MILFtastic Lily Aldridge pops on and off our radar around these parts, at times forgotten as the young mom takes breaks from her work, then suddenly re-appearing like a sextastic angel in the night. Or, in nightwear at least, as she does in this newly released catalog pictorial for Victoria's Secret.

The sight of a ridiculously hot woman in her bedroom little nothing still drives me to the point of self-exhaustion. I'm usually averse to ever buying women clothing, as I've spent most of my adult life trying to get clothing off of women, but if you're thinking you must, you could worse than some little things just mean to be removed off the likes of Lily Aldridge (five weeks until Valentine's Day, just saying, I know). Enjoy.

Nadine Leopold Is a Freckled Face Young Blonde Hottie of Extraordinary Potential

Victoria's Secret continues to gobble up the known universe of young hot international models, including now Nadine Leopold, who is hard to pin down on age, but around 19 and fresh out of Austrian magazines from her home country. None of which is nearly as important as Nadine's freckles. Sure, there's the newly obligatory gap-toothed look, and I do lust that, but those freckles, oh, those freckles.

Nadine reminds me somewhat of Erin Heatherton, a now fellow V.S. model who we fell in deep tissue lust with a few years ago when her freckles first broke big on the scene. If Nadine has anything close to what Erin did in store for us, minus the DiCaprio affair, I am more than excited about the future. I'm always excited about the future of freckledom. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Put the South African Uber-Sextastic Model In Her Element

The dead of winter is when bikini models come alive. It's the biggest time of the year for the slender hot bodied ladies from around the world who make two-piece swimsuits look like magical vessels of the sextastic. Right at the top of that list is Candice Swanepoel who has been perfecting the fine art of Victoria's Secret bikini modeling for the past several years now. And winter is her magic hour.

Featured in the latest and greatest V.S. pictorial, Candice shows off some new name bikini line that looks so incredibly hot on her, not only are the women of the world going to buy tons, I'm quite certain this is a purchase for my own shame closet. Yes, I'm slowly coming to realize there's little chance Candice herself will ever come included with the bikini purchase, but where there is an ounce of hope, there is a ton of desire. Candice does this so very very well. Enjoy.

Monika Jagaciak Hot Sweet and Perfect for V.S. Pink

Oh, Monika Jagaciak, thy complicated name is hotness. I am in fact absolutely in lust with this Polish beauty, now modeling lingerie for Victoria's Secret like most of the rest of the supremely sextastic universe.

Monika definitely falls on my list of most faptastic happy introductions of the last year. I feel like my world got a little brighter since I laid eyes upon her ridiculously hot body and alluring looks. Seeing her now in lingerie and swimsuits only furthers my passion points for the smoking hot brunette. Once I bother to learn how to spell the complicated last name of a European model, I'm always committed to a decade of wanton lust. Monkia, I'm not going away. I pray that you don't either. Just your clothes, please. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Wicked Hot Workout Will Kickstart a Million New Year’s Resolutions

I'm pretty sure Doutzen Kroes isn't really sweating in these Victoria's Secret workout promotional photos. They sprayed her down with water. That only makes her hotter really, and me more jealous of the person whose job it is to spritz down this ridiculously hot MILF in her Spandex workout gear. Perfect in every inch of her passion inducing body, posing and preening and bending for the cameras to capture every perfect angle.

Yep, it's almost New Year's and many of you will be inclined to look at these pictures and resolve to hit the gym more often in 2014. Personally, I'm making a resolution to ask Doutzen Kroes for the opportunity to help her undress out of her sweaty workout gear. If I'm going to the gym more in 2014, I want it to be for the best purpose possible. Enjoy.