Victoria's Secret Posts:

Magdalena Frackowiak Is Back in Bikinis (and We Are Very Happy)

By Bill Swift | March 14, 2013 @ 7:25 am

Magdalena Frackowiak Shines in Victoria's Secret Shoot March 2013

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Magdalena Frackowiak. The name so sextastically whack it evokes images of hot blonde Polish girls in bikinis on the beach. And Magdalena doth deliver in her latest pictorial for Victoria's Secret, in bikinis and some other bits of finery that we'd just assume snip off her ridiculously hot body.

At this point, V.S. seems destined to gobble up every single extraordinarily hot girl on the planet to model and pimp their wares. Some might call it a monopoly, some predatory business practices, we just call it a catalog full of ever increasing hotness. To the victor goes the spoils. That would be us, the gentleman oglers. Enjoy.

Candice, Karlie, and Alessandra Get Together for V.S. Party

By Bill Swift | March 13, 2013 @ 9:55 am

Candice Swanepoel, Karlie Kloss and Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Tops at Victoria's Secret 2013 Photocall in LA

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Still checking my mailbox for this party yesterday featuring Candice Swanepoel, Karlie Kloss, and Alessandra Ambrosio hanging around the pool and showing off their respectively hot bodies. I suppose despite being a Premium Member of the Victoria's Secret buyers club, I didn't make the cut. Which is infuriating, because who else would better appreciate the fine booties, bodies, and all around hotness of this tempting trio of angels?

Well, fine. Keep your chip and dip, V.S., because maybe next time you call and tell me Candice, Karlie, and Alessandra are hanging out by the pool and would I like to stop by, maybe I just won't answer. Just kidding, I'd be there in a heartbeat, or less, since technically my heart would probably stop upon receiving the call. A trio of the sextastic. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Crazy Sunshine Caribbean Hot

By Bill Swift | March 12, 2013 @ 11:43 am

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot March 2013

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Our lady of Candice is back with one stellar catalog shoot for Victoria's Secret. If you ever wonder what becomes of all that hard work Candice Swanepoel was doing in January down in the Caribbean, and you probably weren't, here are the results. And, dang. I suppose all the time, money, and effort paid off. Or, you know, you could've just got Candice half-nekkid in front of her apartment window and shot her and we'd be drooling just the same. But who doesn't love a work trip down to Barbados?

Candice Swanepoel was born to model. Born to look wicked hot in a bikini. And, born to have unlimited and copious amounts of sexy time with me. Maybe that last part is more of a wish. Enjoy.

We’re Pimping Karlie Kloss, Just Like Victoria’s Secret

By Bill Swift | March 7, 2013 @ 10:15 am

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We are more than 110% behind Windy City native model Karlie Kloss and her rise to swimsuit and lingerie fame by way of Victoria's Secret and other fashion type outlets. She's got the Midwestern charms that need to be recognized, supported, and ultimately fondled in the back of our Toyota Corolla, if our countless prayers are ever to be answered.

Shooting swimsuit pictures for V.S., Karlie once again shows why her innocent charms and willingness to appear less innocent in modeling photos will someday soon put her to the upper echelons of her industry. The looking good industry. And we'll be there every step of the way to applaud, and peek down her top. That's how you show affection, Egotastic! style. Enjoy.

Karlie Kloss Shines in Victoria's Secret Swim Photoshoot 2013

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Lais Ribeiro, Candice Swanepoel, and Alessandra Ambrosio Filming Michael Bay’s V.S. Lingerie Commercial

By Bill Swift | February 11, 2013 @ 11:14 am

Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Lais Ribeiro Filming Victoria's Secret with Michael Bay

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Still not exactly sure what Michael Bay is doing directing a Victoria's Secret commercial, but I'm going to guess it has something to do with getting to hang around the set all day with uber-hotties Lais Ribeiro, Candice Swanepoel, and Alessandra Ambrosio, ans ordering them in and out of various little bits of silk and lace. Oh, and probably also a million clams or something on pay day.

The trio of V.S. hotties posed and pranced and strutted in their bra and panties across some rather elaborate sets in Miami, Michael Bay style, and formed all kinds of speculation that viewing the final product of this commercial might just cause you to leave this world in a fit of stroke and a very sore arm muscle. I have to believe there's some truth to this rumor. But check out the stills from on set and decide for yourself. Enjoy.

LAIS RIBEIRO IS ONE UNDERRATED LINGERIE MODEL HOTTIE

Lais Ribeiro Wearing Victoria's Secret Cotton Lingerie

13 Photos »

Erin Heather So Effin’ Hot in Lingerie (and the Case of the Missing Freckles)

By Bill Swift | February 8, 2013 @ 9:26 am

Erin Heatherton Sexy in Victoria's Secret for February 2013

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Erin Topless Freckled

Check out the freckled skin on topless hottie Erin Heatherton. 6 Photos »

Well, here's one not such a surprise -- Erin Heatherton looks effin' amazing again in her latest lingerie shoot for Victoria's Secret, just in time for Valentine's Day and all you guys out there with V-Day lingerie on your lady fantasies. Oh, you will buy. And skulk about the store as I do pretending to look like you have a purpose.

And here's no surprise either -- the number of letters we receive asking why I often refer to the divine freckles on Erin Heatherton, when plain sight shows she seems to have few to none at all on her body. Well, I'm happy to say, that Erin does have a freckled complexion. Happy because we find it ever so damn hot. Sadly, the good folks at Victoria's Secret find mottled skin color to be less than ideal and routinely 'clean' her skin with the airbrush tool.

(The DailyMail recently had a good article about this: Freckled beauty Erin Heatherton slams Photoshop for erasing her complexion.)

While we don't mind a tiny touch on photos, some contrast or lighting to enhance, it's just staging, we do beg to differ with those who take away our full bodied women's curves, or, our lovely freckled beauties Mother Nature given sextastic connect-the-dots-on-skin game. Alas, such is the nature of modern media. Enjoy.

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Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge Use Sex Appeal to Remind You That It’s Almost Valentine’s

By Bill Swift | February 7, 2013 @ 8:27 am

Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge Victoria Secret's Reveal in NYC

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Look, you've got one week left of today to either get a little nookie or find yourself alone on the couch come Valentine's Day, the single biggest trap day of the year for men, when the odds of success are stacked against you mightily.

As always, I will remind you that what women want from Valentine's Day is a story to tell all their friends who are telling their stories, or better yet, to do some token gesture of romance in front of their friends or coworkers. Remember, women don't care what they get, they just care that their girlfriends get to say, 'Oh, you are so lucky!' on the big V-Day. I don't know, guys have The Super Bowl and all their weird traditions. Valentine's Day is The Super Bowl for women. Just suck it up and play the game.

And as if you weren't feeling pressure from all quarters, now consider the pressure in your drawers as you feast eyes upon Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge, in store for Victoria's Secret promoting their favorite Valentine's Day gift packages. Obviously, Valentine's Day is the monster sales holiday for the lingerie store, but, again, I caution you, purchasing lingerie for your girl raises the odds of failure on V-Day to the extreme. It's the danger zone where so many a man has epically failed. Nobody fails with flowers and dinner, I'm just saying. Still, revel in the fantasy that Valentine's Day has anything to do with men with a couple hot peeks at the hot peaks of Candice and Lily. Enjoy.