Victoria's Secret Posts:

Candice Swanepoel and Karlie Kloss Celebrate Bombshell Day In Front of Bras and Panties

If you're going to make up a holiday called Bombshell Day, you've got to come up with the bombshells to come give the day some meaning. I'll say this for Victoria's Secret, they deliver on their trumped up holidays. Candice Swanepoel and Karlie Kloss definitely rise to the level of top notch lingerie pimping talent. Two extremely good looking ladies all decked out and hanging out at the Victoria's Secret store in Manhattan to remind people that you have but a few shopping days left until Valentine's Day.

As sextastic and fine as Candice and Karlie are, I hope you will heed Uncle Bill's warning not to purchase lingerie for your girl for the 14th of February. I understand the temptation. But the risk-reward is way too high. I'm not talking out of my ass (though, that would be a neat party trick). Learn from my mistakes. Go teddy bear, flowers, nice restaurant, whatever is easily and recognizably appreciated without body issues brought into the mix. On Valentine's night, you want the lamp going off with a giggle, not going off in a crash against your cranium. Stick to the plan, my good men. Do not let the Sirens of sultry lingerie goodness divert you down the path of classic misstep. Enjoy.

Alena Blohm Is Stupendously Covered Topless for V.S.

Alright, Victoria's Secret. You win. Your attempt to secure the services of pretty much every amazing looking lingerie model in this world to pimp your wares has succeeded beyond your wildest dreams. Though right about mid-center of my wildest dreams as it turns out.

Meet German model Alena Blohm. The latest and greatest sextastic addition to the V.S portfolio of the world's hottest women stripped down to just their panties to sell your bras. I don't think it even makes sense. I know I don't care. I could stare at the ridiculously hot body of this girl from Yemen for days on end, with some nights included. I can't believe my mom dissuaded me from pursuing my childhood dream of running a lingerie company. Where has learning to read and write gotten me in terms of hanging out with international models in their panties? Enjoy.

Lindsay Ellingson Looks Somewhere Between Crazy Hot and Outrageously Hot for Victoria’s Secret

Victoria's Secret really does have a very deep talent roster. When they can drop down below their superstar list and pull up Lindsay Ellingson for a covered topless pictorial in lingerie, well, that's a pretty deep bench. She's one might fine role player, if that role be inducing lust in the heart's of men.

We are going to be bombarded over the next several weeks with nothing but pink and red lingerie styled shoots of hotties reminding us to purchase some silky nothings for Valentine's Day. I say good, bring it on. I am mature enough as a man to know the horrible idea of purchasing lingerie for the lady on this special day, and yet I am immature enough to request a twenty minute private time break with every new Victoria's Secret catalogue arriving at the abode. A man needs to learn to compartmentalize his feelings. Also to make sure he locks the door. Enjoy.

Adriana Lima Running Around Miami in Her Bra and Panties

If only it were because she had a loose screw and was finally running to the airport to come live with me in not so luxury as my letters have explained to her over the years. But, alas, it turns out that Adriana Lima, the Brazilian bombshell with the passion inducing buttons all over her body, was shooting a Victoria's Secret lingerie pictorial outdoors in Miami, flashing her undergarments to the gentleman ogler, well, at least those with a decent camera lens.

Adriana Lima is the embodiment of sultry goodness. And, boy, how I would like to examine every inch of her embodiment. Her name alone has the ability to entirely shift the blood flow of the male human body even from a great distance. She's like an X-Men with the power to force men to their knees, or at least cover up their midsections for fear of embarrassment. Mmm mutant. Enjoy.

Sara Sampaio Lingerie Asstastic Looks Reinforce Portuguese Longings

Sometimes I make a declarative statement like about how Sara Sampaio is the most amazing Portuguese woman ever, then I start to doubt myself and wonder if like the Father Pellicano used to remind me, I didn't know shit. Then I see Sara once more, as in these Victoria's Secret lingerie catalog photos and I know I must be right. I must.

Just look at this divine brunette delight, perfectly hot body barely covered and definitely cheeky in little bits of lace and satin. Oh, my, oh my, Sara, you are an absolute treasure for the eyeballs. I'm glad you're around. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures Are Ever Giving Gifts of Hot Body Goodness

I like to think people are born for different roles in life. Not that you can't alter your destiny, but you may never ultimately change your innate gifts. Candice Swanepoel was born to model lingerie. She may decide to be a doctor or a pilot or an underground sewer line maintenance worker, but there may never be a better natural lingerie model. I think we can find other people to work the sewers who don't work so perfectly in little bras and panties.

In her new photoshoot for Victoria's Secret, Candice shows the full range of her hot body and alluring promotional talents. All that and some serious self-holding funbag skills. She's a keeper. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Hot Toned Body for V.S. Sports Promotion

Doutzen Kroes remains the single most underrated angel in the V.S. arsenal and simply one of the hottest women on this entire planet.

The Dutch model was in Miami at the Victoria's Secret store showing off their whatever new sporting wear line for the ladies. I don't care what she's selling because I'm buying it, by the dozens. This woman looks good in and out of everything. And that hot mommy body, makes me want to cry a little. Not so much she thinks me a fool, just enough she offers to find me a tissue. Oh, Doutzen, we need to spend more time together sharing our deepest secrets, and such. Enjoy.