Victoria’s Secret

Behati Prinsloo Bikini Picture Goodness for Victoria’s Secret


Behati Prinsloo, thy name is sextastic. I’d like to find an outlet for my jealousy for that undeserving bastard who went and stole my Namibian dream girl and made her unholy. Not that I can’t think of twenty-nine ways to reconsecrate her outrageously hot bikini body into something pure that I might once again defile in my own specific manner. Still, it burns me just a bit to think she and I aren’t going away to a Swiss Alps luxury cabin this winter to lock ourselves in throes of passion until the Ricola guy comes by to ask us to keep it down.

Featured in the new Victoria’s Secret bikini catalog, Behati shows exactly why her modeling career is going to last a good long time, even if she does end up making Maroon 5 babies against my better judgement. Just something about her that screams, buy my bikinis, ladies (and oddly fetish minded men) and you too will look like me. It’s a gift. I’d like to help her tie a ribbon around it for Christmas. No hands required. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel a Picture of Angelic Winged Beauty in Lingerie Fitting for the V.S. Fashion Show

You don’t just show up to a monster televised lingerie runway show and not be pre-fitted for your bras and panties. Not to mention your wings. God forbid your panties are too snug or too lose and flash something untoward to an large television audience. We can’t have that. The show might actually get interesting.

Candice Swanepoel and her uber-sextastic body showed up for her pre-fitting for the big upcoming show. I can’t imagine a better job in the world than making sure Candice’s tiny bits of silky underwear fits her just perfectly. Maybe the job of removing that lingerie later on, though I’m not sure that’s an actual job so much as a dream volunteer assignment. Candice, you’re going to cause me to add even more lacy elements to my closet of shame. I don’t blame you, but you probably will still need a reminder spanking. I give with one hand and punish with the other. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima Present the Victoria’s Secret Angels $2 Million Fantasy Bras

Hottie duo Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio were on hand to reveal this year’s Victoria’s Secret fantasy bras in Las Vegas. Adriana was looking sexy in a form fitting black dress that hugged the contours of that famous frame. But it was Alessandra’s revealing red dress that really got people’s attention. It had a plunging neckline that gave you a nice view of her mighty cleav. A slit on the skirt also allowed a nice look at those gorgeous legs of hers. Each one of the bras and matching panties is worth 2 million dollars. The two of them will sport these redonkulously expensive over the shoulder boulder holders for Victoria’s Secret catalog and runway shows. I’m not exactly sure what the appeal of a 2 million dollar bra is to the average horndog who ogles the catalog is or for that matter a regular Victoria’s Secret patron looking for a underwear.

I guess the point is to show off how much money the company can spend on diamond studded bras. I can’t imagine that those things are comfortable or offer very good support. Sapphires are scratchy.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Sexy Beach Shoot for Victoria’s Secret

Professional hot person Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was looking particularly hot in a sensual night gown thing for Victoria’s Secret. The bottom was a flowy skirt that showed off those amazing legs. They are long and lean and I wish they were wrapped around me right now. The skirt also had a slit that allowed you to see a bit of her panties and all the wonders that they hold. The top was flesh colored and it makes you think that there isn’t anything there but there is. Still, her pretty perkies looked really sweet. Rosie is firm and fully packed with a face that can’t be beat. She’s currently in my top five hotties that I’m ogling. Plus I like her name. She sounds like the heroine of a romance novel. She can play the countess and I’ll be the naughty stable boy.

These are the things I think about when I’m alone with my thoughts.

Alessandra Ambrosio Victoria’s Secret Fitting, Yes, It’s Lingerie Fun Time

You can’t just ramp up a major lingerie show without a little pre-production. In fact, the pre-production, the behind the scenes, and the after party really are the very best part of the entire annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I should know as those are the specific events to which Victoria’s Secret turns down my invitation requests every year.

The assemblage of world class model hotties at the show is like no other event on the planet, save for maybe a Leonardo DiCaprio yacht party in Monte Carlo. Now, they do tend to way overdress these sextastic bodies because they want a large female audience to watch and also because CBS is still living in the 1950′s. Nevertheless, you can’t cover up the allure of the hot body of Alessandra Ambrosio, short of a burqa and massive tube socks. Her allure is like a supernova, which I think means hot and burning. You can probably skip the actual show, but stay tuned for tons of around the scenes visual delights. Enjoy.

Doutzen Kroes Hot Lingerie Prepping for the Victoria’s Secret Show

Every year the good and decent silk and lace making folks at Victoria’s Secret pimp their annual runway show for CBS just a little bit harder. More promos, more commercials, more hotness the likes of Doutzen Kroes showing off some of her fitting photos backstage prepping for the event in Harper’s Bazaar magazine.

Now, I’d be lying if I said the annual fashion show itself isn’t a bit PG-rated compared to even your typical catalog shoot. It is an all-audience type event, meaning, even less skin than normal. However, any time you get the world’s hottest women by the gaggle full into one location to pimp panties and bras, well, there is likely to be some delicious treats in store. As in the case of Doutzen Kroes, one crazy underrated angel MILFtastic. How I’d like to be her official dresser slash undresser for this event. I would do one of those tasks slowly, one rather quick. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Sextastic for the Scandalous Collection

I don’t know if I’d ever call my feelings for Candice Swanepoel in skimpy bits of lace to be scandalous. I would definitely call them inappropriate for discussions outside of the psychiatric client-doctor privileged conversations. Oh, how I’d like to munch those panties right off of this South African hottie. See there, I’m saying things aloud again my counselor clearly advised me to keep in my head.

I’m not exactly sure who owns the Scandalous Collection. I do know they’re about to sell a ton of it. There’s no way you can look at these photos and not want to pay for something. It’s how men show their affection and approval. Golf claps or cash, with the latter more heavily utilized when appreciating the female of the species. Candice, my dear, you are so damn hot, I might just cry. Enjoy.