Victoria’s Secret

Victoria’s Secret Angels Show Off Valentine’s Lingerie Collection, Keep Your Bearings

Oh, man, the final two week stretch before Valentine’s Day. Do not bow to the pressure. Look, but do not buy the lingerie. Though Victoria’s Secret has no desire to make this any easier on you. More and more angels like Candice Swanepoel and her girl friends in their bras and panties almost daily now. Pushing you to buy. Stay strong, brother.

I know this is a big time of year for the lingerie maker. If not the biggest. And I know these international models who wear their little bits of silk and lace are ridiculously hot. But stick to flowers. Maybe some dinner. A teddy bear. You buy her clothes and you will have failed. My next venture is going to be an advice book for guys. It’ll be mostly pictures, because let’s face it, that’s our language. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Adriana Lima Leads Squad of Hotties for V.S. Super Bowl Promo

The girls of Victoria’s Secret, the angels, are gearing up for their big commercial promo for the Super Bowl on Sunday. It’s unclear exactly whether the ad is target at the guys or the millions of women who also watch football especially on this one big game day of the year. Either way, I suspect the guys will be watching.

There’s something extra-credit sextastic about world class smoking hot girls in sports uniforms. Full football gear is not exactly my first choice in fine female form wardrobe, but I would work with it. It might get a little weird if they’re all padded up like real ballers, especially when helping them undress. But stay focused on their feminine beauty and what lay beneath and you won’t feel so uncomfortable removing their shoulder pads and jocks. The commercial should be special. I’ll watch it even as I am inevitably saddened by my certain Super Bowl betting loss. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures Launch Victoria’s Secret’s 2015 Pimping Product Line

If it’s January, it must be Swanepoel bikini magic time. It’s hard to imagine but Candice Swanepoel has been ringing in the new year’s bikini fashions for Victoria’s Secret for about seven years now. I think it’s fair to call her a veteran angel at this point. It’s more than fair to call her an uber-sextastic bikini pimper of the highest order who just keep getting hotter and hotter. There’s something to be said for longevity. That thing is mostly ‘bless you, Candice’.

In yet another epic show of the world’s hottest swimsuit body, Candice comes out swinging for the fences, with booty and sweet boobtastic, for the January edition of the Victoria’s Secret catalog. I can see the allure both for the male of the species as well as the bikini buyers hoping they can pull any kind of Swanepoel mojo with their purchase of similar styles. I wish them luck. It seems daunting, but who wants to live without dreams? Especially those involving Candice and a slight sunburn on her bikini line that needs tending to. Hot then cold, then repeat. I don’t even need a compress. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Elsa Hosk Bikini Pictures Fun Time in V.S January

Elsa Hosk, how do I Swedish love thee. Let me count the ways. I see about forty-seven across nine different categories of lust inducement in your latest swimsuit shoot for Victoria’s Secret. Oh, underrated Nordic beauty, you do such amazing things in your two piece swimwear.

As much as we do love our battle bikini candids, there’s something to be said for the stellar sextastic looks of a world class model posed for the cameras pimping merch. If anybody could look this good, they would, but they don’t. They don’t cut paychecks to Elsa because she’s replaceable. She has that certain photogenic slash I want to make love to her until the cows come home quality that makes her a standout in the selling of the prurient feelings game. Fine work, Elsa, let’s meet up for happy hour. I’l have the wings and beer, you have the the lettuce leaf and water and we’ll go from there. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pimping Already for St. Valentine’s Day

With the New Year comes the ever ticking imminent clock of Valentine’s Day. Hard to believe but you’ve got a month and a week to get that perfect for somebody special. Naturally, I will be taking the lust of my life, Candice Swanepoel, to see 50 Shades of Grey then out to In & Out Burger for some double doubles then back to the studio apartment mansion for endless rounds of David and Bathsheba. I like to throw a little biblical color into the holiday passion.

As a preview of my own Valentine’s evening, Candice was kind enough to model some very bits of V.S. lingerie being pimped specifically for the fine ladies on February 14th. As you know, each year I caution you against purchasing lingerie for your girl despite the upside you envision. It’s a trap. It’s always been a trap. It will always be a trap. Get flowers and a cashmere scarf, if you can eat the cost. Trust Uncle Bill. I’ve been around that block. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victorias Secret

Monika Jagaciak Lingerie and Arm Bras Covered Topless for Victorias Secret

Monikia Jagaciak makes my heart flutter, my toes curl, and my face blush. And that’s just from saying her name. Seeing the sextastic young Polish model in her panties and bras makes me go into something of a catatonic state between joy and super duper joy, leaning heavily toward the latter. I’m inclined to believe people are born into certain professions and callings. They don’t always discover their natural course until later in life, if at all, but girls like Monika have others who help them identify their own innate fates. You, my dear, we born to model intimates.

Someday, when I launch my own lingerie company that investigators inevitable discover never produced any merchandise and was merely a ruse to get me close to international crazy hot models mostly nekkid, Monika Jagaciak will be on my short list of A-list must haves. I hope she doesn’t read that first part and still agrees to come to my secret island hideaway to be measured for the Spring line. Oh, yes, Monikia, you shall be measured. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel Sultry Victoria’s Secret Swimwear Blasts a Load of Hotness Into the Winter Chill (Egad, Hide the Children!)

Candice Swanepoel does one thing and she does it so damn well she’s hard not to admire, if not imagine over 17,000 ways in which you could show her how your admiration plays out during a game of doctor. She is simply the pre-eminent bikini and swimsuit model. Not that there aren’t dozens of other supremely fine ladies who model the bathing suits so faptastically. But Candice simply takes it up another notch, to the libido volume eleven, where all things tingly and fun exist.

In her latest and greatest sultry swimwear shoot for Victoria’s Secret, Candice dispels the silly notion that winter has just begun, with a pictorial so blessedly hot, it could very well be the cause of the polar bear suffering at the poles. You can almost see steam seeping off her wicked hot skin in these mind numbingly sextastic snapshots. I don’t know exactly how she does it, I’m not sure she even knows how she does, I just know I never ever want her to stop. Now, I must rest. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret