Victoria's Secret Posts:

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pimping With Full Force for Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel is back where she belongs. On the pages of Victoria's Secret catalog looking impossibly hot in bikinis that can't possibly look so perfect on the purchasers. Alas, if only we lived in wonderland. Nevertheless, Candice sells the two-piece dream like no other, being flown about the world to various beaches to don the sextastic swimwear and soak in the digital photography.

Candice is, was, always will be a natural when it comes to modeling the bikinis and the bras and panties. We were all born with certain talents, mine for instance is being able to stare without blinking at Candice in her tiny bikinis for up to seventeen minutes. I know, I am blessed. Though perhaps slightly less than Candice. Enjoy.

Camille Rowe and Her Lingerie Sort of Covered Uncovered Body Drives Me Absolutely Crazy

The day Victoria's Secret brought Camille Rowe into their stable of world class lingerie modeling hotties was one of the happier days of my life. I can't really compare it to the birth of a child or graduation from reform school, but let's just say it's between Camille's signing on to V.S. and the day my local grocery store put Pacifico on permanent club sale that I will remember with the biggest smile in my golden years.

Featured in the latest and greatest from the lingerie make extraordinaire, Camille Rowe shows once again why a super sextastic hottie with no top on is the very best way to sell bras. It's ironic, I know. But I'm on the phone right now with V.S. asking my sales representative Stephanee with two e's if she can sell me the bra Camille was formerly wearing before she removed it for the shoot. No, no need to wash it, I'll take it as-is, right off the shelf. Enjoy.

Behati Prinsloo Remains Incredibly Alluring in Lingerie

Yep, Behati Prinsloo is still my favorite Namibian girl, hands down. This whole Adam Levine thing shook me for a while. But if I'm going to dismiss girls that are with or have been with the likes of Adam Levin and John Mayer and David Spade, I'm going to lose half of my secret lust crush list and I can't abide that.

So, I'll ignore the romantic entanglements and just return to how I first fell completely superficially in love with Behati Prinsloo, seeing her posing in little bits of silk and lace as she is once more for Victoria's Secret. She really does have that excellent combination of coquettish looks and a very grown up barely covered body. I think I'm in love all over again. Adam Levine, you bastard. Oops. Enjoy.

Anais Pouliot Covered Topless in Victoria’s Secret

French Canadian hottie Anais Pouliot is in all her slightly covered topless glory in this month's Victoria's Secret. Anais is just barely concealing her chesticles from view in these pictures. She is also sporting a flower crown. It's all very nymphlike, if nymphs wore frilly lingerie. I like to believe that if nymphs had money they might venture to the local mall to purchase a nice garter belt of bustier. Unfortunately, they don't actually exist. Still, the effect of Anais' photos is both shy and coquettish and super hot. I think it's probably due to her French Canadian heritage. Canadians tend to be fairly reserved unless they are at a hockey game. But the French are all about the sexy sex. I was once in Paris and I saw more breasts out in the wild than I've ever encountered before. This Quebec must be a magical place.

I'm going to have to get a hold of this April Victoria's Secret catalog. You know, for research. It is both my job and my duty.

Candice Swanepoel and Adriana Lima Cleavy and Leggy at Victoria’s Secret Conference in London

Gal pals Candice Swanepoel and Adriana Lima looked appropriately sensual at a Victoria's Secret press conference. They were there to announce that the next Victoria's Secret lingerie fashion show is going to be held in London. Adriana wore a dress that had the benefit of both short and having a special window to oggle her funbags. Candice looked equally as smoking in a white dress that showed off her ample cleavage. It is the mark of a truly sexy woman when they are equally as provocative fully clothed or just wearing underwear and a pair of angel wings. These two ladies have been my favorite Victoria's Secret models for a while. There is just something fun and exciting about them. They look like they are actually having a good time on the runway and not like they are just going through the motions.

I look forward to seeing what frilly bits of awesomeness they will be wearing when the show happens in London. Rest assured, we're on it like fish on chips.

Camille Rowe Covered Topless for Victoria’s Secret

I really do have a thing for French hottie model Camille Rowe. The day Victoria's Secret added her to their stable of female lingerie modeling goodness, well, that was a happy day indeed.

Featured in the March catalog, Camille shows exactly by wearing no lingerie up top, she's the best selling bra-pimper this side of the Loire River Valley. Sometimes, you need no clothes to sell clothes. Camille gets that. I applaud her intuition and her sweet lower back and points connected therein. Enjoy.

Candice Swanepoel Teasy Covered Topless Lingerie Spread Seals Her Seat at the Head of the V.S. Table

I would shank any one of you in the shower for a chance to spend five minutes in the broom closet with any one of the Victoria's Secret roster of lingerie hotties. But I'd probably take out my own mom if the prize were some alone time with Candice Swanepoel. I'm sorry, mom, but you didn't raise no fool.

My lust for all things Candice has been steady, continuous, and non-stop for several years now. I'm not sure anybody on this planet wears, or doesn't wear, a bra and panties quite as smoothly and effectively as Candice. Even the Russian judges are scoring her perfect 10's. How can you not? That's rhetorical. You can mock my sports teams and my questionable choice of Target wardrobe, but if you ever criticize Candice in front of me, you're going to have to watch me cry. You do not want that, my friend. Trust me. Enjoy.