Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Bit of Awesome for V.S.

Nobody does the professional pimping of the swimsuits perhaps better than Our Lady of Swanepoel. It’s as if Candice Swanepoel descended to this planet for the specific purpose of instructing future generations of sextastic models how to pose in two piece swimwear. One heavenly bit of tutoring if you will.

In her latest and greatest round of showing off in Victoria’s Secret promo bikini shoots, Candice displays her stellar combo of ridiculously perfect beach body and the innate skills with her alluring looks to drive many a woman to purchase a swimsuit and many a man to wish he could be reincarnated as one of Candice’s bikinis. Perhaps I’m speaking just for myself on the latter. But it is one of my recurring dreams. Candice, you move me in ways that aren’t quite kosher, but altogether quite tingling. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Rachel Hilbert Posing In Bikinis For Victoria’s Secret

Professional hot person Rachel Hilbert was looking mighty fine while posing in a series of bikinis in this photoshoot for Victoria’s Secret. Rachel has a nice perky pair of yabos that look amazing all pushed up and sexy in these tops. MY favorite is how unbelievably scrumptious they look in the green and white bikini top. Rachel is seriously hot in every possible category. She’s got lots of tone on her body, a pretty face, and those aforementioned ta-tas. But let’s not forget her booty because to forget her booty is to deny one of her best attributes. Her thumper is a nice round number that I would personally like to wear as a hat.

These pics makes a man want to go to Victoria’s Secret and drop a dime on buying their girl these outfits. But they’ll never look like Rachel. No, sir.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Gigi Hadid And Rachel Hilbert Bikini Top Spring Break Fun Time

You don’t have many responsibilities as a hot young model, save for the most important — having other hot young model friends. It’s sort of an unofficial rule that comes with the gig and lifestyle and being paid to wear bikinis and smiles. Not much to ask, but definitely a must-ask.

Gigi Hadid and Rachel Hilbert bikini buddied up over the weekend in Miami for the PINK Spring Break party hosted by Victoria’s Secret. It was kind of reminiscent of my own Spring Break trips to Florida, except this one had girls. Tanned girls. Hot tanned girls like Gigi and Rachel whose job it was to strut around in shorts and bikinis and remind everybody that binge drinking and casual sex should go hand in hand with shopping for bikinis and underwear online with Victoria’s Secret. Tough sell. I remember being 20 and saving my last five bucks for beer. New underwear was for rich people. But I’m probably not the target market. Still, I ogle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Gigi Hadid Flashes Booty Cheeks While Wearing Bikinis

The lovely Gigi Hadid showed off her luscious pants meats in this sexy photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret. In the age before the internet, a young man blossoming into manhood in his bathing suit area would eagerly await the arrival of the Victoria’s Secret catalog. But I don’t recall back in those ancient times that we had as much exposed booty flesh as Gigi shows here. I guess times are changing for the better. Gigi does have an extraordinary bum bum. But that’s not all she’s packing. Gigi has also got herself a nice set of ta-tas that look particularly nice in the white top. It’s like her sweater hams are covered by nothing more than a white puffy cloud. A puffy cloud I’d like to motorboat ’till sunup.

But seriously, do kids today even look at the wonders of the Victoria’s Secret catalog? I’m glad I could share its wonders with you, our loyal readers like it’s 1994.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Candice Swanepoel Topless Covered With Her Hottie Friends for Victoria’s Secret Swim Special 2015

Hot girls often have hot friends. I feel like if I could just crack the code on the first part of that equation, I could inevitably surround myself with beautiful half-nekkid to fully-nekkid models and celebrities who think of me as a trusted friend they can change in front of. That is the dream.

Candice Swanepoel has some mightily attractive friends. Many of whom she hooked up with to film the Victoria’s Secret Swimwear Special. Just looking at the results, I can see several things that are quite special, starting with Our Lady of Swanepoel laying barely covered on the beach. I’ve always maintained the best way to sell a swimsuit is by having one outstandingly sextastic woman not wear that swimsuit in photos. The Emperor’s new clothes really is the ideal line for these incredibly alluring bodied women. If there’s one thing I know, it’s absent fashion. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret 2015 Swim Special

Candice, Lais, Lily, Behati Bikini Up for the Victoria’s Secret Sextastic Swim Catalogue

Just because Valentine’s is over doesn’t mean Victoria’s Secret isn’t still churning at 110% in the pimping of tiny bits of clothing for women with stellar bodies. They’ve just now put out their crazy hot swim catalogue so that women everywhere can dream and men everywhere can dream even bigger.

Candice Swanepoel, Lily Aldridge, Lais Ribeiro, and Behati Prinsloo provide the wettest of sextastic bikini dreams in this smoking hot but highly moisturized catalogue of international female form goodness. You can’t see these pictures and not currently be booking your warm weather vacation. Or perhaps just considering perching outside the window of one of the Victoria’s Secret bedroom windows in a parka with a thermos full of schnapps prepared to dig in for the long winter. I choose both. Just to double my chances of winning. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures May Just Set Off A Four Alarm Fire In Your Undercrackers

It’s like a tidal wave of amazingly hot women in lingerie from our friends at Victoria’s Secret leading up to Valentine’s Day. A tsnumai of sextastic women in bras and panties, as if they are daring you to find the strength to resist. Somebody needs to file a complaint at the Hague or something about this kind of inhumane tantalizing of the male parts.

Candice Swanepoel was simply born to model lingerie. I don’t know what else she had planned as a young person, but I’m glad she figured out that those other career paths wouldn’t benefit her or mankind nearly as much as preening, bending, and posing in little bits of silken undergarments. This is her gift and she’s sharing it with the world. There’s no more beautiful human gesture to be made. Not ogling her outstanding body would be an insult of extraordinary proportions. Don’t be rude, stare. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret