There are two seriously big sales periods for the good and decent lingerie selling folks at Victoria’s Secret. Valentine’s Day and naturally Christmas. You can bet they go big, bigger, and biggest with Angels blowout time in December shoots and catalogs working the male mind into purchasing as much silky little nothings for the female body as possible.
To this end, pretty much every single sextastic V.S. model is out from under wraps this time of year. Martha Hunt, Camille Rowe, Behati Prinsloo, so man of my favorites. But I wanted to make a special note of newcomer Vita Sidorkina. It’s taken me a few attempts to spell her name right. She’s the supremely fine blonde asstastic model in the thong in the lead image. If you can’t remember how to spell her name, there’s no point in learning anybody’s name. Talk about a Yuletide introduction. That’s the way to do it. So much Christmas spirt in those twin cheeks of hers. Now, guy buy your favorite girl some lace and strings to wear on Christmas morning. She’ll thank you later. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GSI / Victoria’s Secret
I’m quite sure I’m in lust with Swedish beauty Elsa Hosk. I am getting those butterflies in my tummy, or what I’ll describe as such while knowing it’s tingles in my genetic bank, that a man gets for a woman when he just knows he’d like to build her a log cabin deep in the woods and spend a year there with her living off nothing but jerky and tender making of the sexy on the front stoop. That’s the primal emotion emotion I feel when peeking at Elsa in her latest Victoria’s Secret spread.
Elsa was the angel who accidentally winged Ariana Grande during the fashion show performance cat walk. I’m sure she didn’t mean it, though I would have paid several quid to see the girls fight just a bit, maybe rip each other’s clothes off, then makeup by making out. It could have happened. I bought tickets just in case. Elsa, do you see how discombobulating you are to the male and Sapphic leaning lady brain? It’s not you, it’s us. Well, it is partially you. Just so damn hot. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
Have you ever thought to yourself, hmm, I wonder what uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel might look like in tight revealing workout gear doing all kinds of sweaty physical activities? I know, me too. And here’s our answer.
Posing down, posing off, and just plain exuding sweaty udder hotness, Candice Swanepoel pimps the shizz out of Victoria’s Secret exercise clothing line for women with outrageously hot bodies who want to make every man at the gym feel supremely uncomfortable, yet not so much that they ever look away. That would just be rude. I’m pretty sure I’d rapidly change memberships to the facility where Candice shows up in these outfits to get fit, even if that means writing a letter to the Costa Rican headquarters of these gym outlets and waiting six months to be told my gym cancelation will be processed in another six months. I’d do that for the sight of Candice and that smoking hot body of hers. Also, to be part of the class action suit down the road. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
If you consider yourself a true connoisseur of the Victoria’s Secret Angels, then you know the finer moments often occur after the show is over, when the girls get decked out for the after party, all swank and gowned out over the lovely little silky bits they modeled earlier.
Candice Swanepoel and a bevy of other Euro-model beauties tasked with catwalking in bra and panties headed back to the hotel for what can only be described as the best party you never got invited to. Or if you did, I hope you took pictures in and around the ladies powder room. A job well done by the ladies earlier in the evening, time to let loose later in the evening. There’s really nothing better than a room full of the world’s most sextastic women looking to unwind after work. This is the true Happy Hour. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet
And, then it happened. After all the hype and promos and media moments, it was time to unleash the super world class lingerie hotties down the catwalk at the U.K. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I can’t show how it compares or not to the U.S. edition, I can only say more more more can never quite be enough when you’re talking about the likes of Candice Swanepoel and the vastly underrated Doutzen Kroes strutting the runway in bras and panties. Granted, the wings and feathers and dramatic flairs are a bit over the top and unnecessarily stagy, but that couldn’t possibly take away from the sheer epic power of a dozen of the world’s most sextastic women in their intimates flashing their absolutely perfect bodies to the world. It’d be like complaining about the color of the craft that landed on the moon. This is the accomplishment.
Next year I do hope Victoria’s Secret takes my suggestion and adds a third major fashion show venue within my very home. I have the runway already nearly assembled and an applause machine to make up for the fact that myself and my elderly neighbor Anton who helped pay for the runway linoleum will be in attendance. C’mon, V.S., this just makes sense. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / INFphoto.com / Splash News / GSI
Fresh off of an appearance at the U.S. Victoria’s Secret Fashion show a year earlier where some of the cattier models said Taylor Swift just couldn’t cut it as a lingerie model, Taylor came back twice as strong showing off in some medium level revealing lingerie items on the runway and performing on stage in London along with mega minxy hottie Ariana Grande in her traditionally tiny little tight two piece performance ensemble. Yes, I used the word ensemble. No, I don’t suddenly have an interest in belts and accessories.
Taylor Swift really did steal the show, coming out onstage with her slender girl buddy Karlie Kloss, the two of whom I imagine deeply entwined in Sapphic lust each evening in Taylor’s $20 million New York condo of quiet climaxes. I’m probably wrong, but I’d prefer to believe I’m right. In either case, these two daily workout partners strutted their hot legs and slender forms down the runway, before Taylor broke into song then later Ariana for a show that was entirely visually pleasing. And that was even before the Angels came out in bras and panties. Quite an evening. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News / GSI / INFphoto.com
The lovely ladies of lingerie heaven moved over to the British Isles for the U.K. version of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. The British girls love their silk and lace quite a bit too, don’t you know. So Candice Swanepoel
and Alessandra Ambrosio
and a gaggle full of the world’s hottest lingerie models shipped themselves and their bra and panties over to England for a show of sextastic and elastic.
For some reason only me and my imaginary older man friend Bert truly know, I really love the look of the girls backstage in their kimonos perhaps even more than the show itself. Something naughty and cheeky about visiting these wicked hot women whilst prepping for their catwalk. Maybe it’s the idea of peeking where I don’t belong, or just that all my perfect job search result lead me to be oil boy backstage at a lingerie show, but I just feel at home. Oh, that this were my home. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News