Second only to the Vanity Fair Oscar-Party each year, Elton John can draw some serious female tail to his swank post-Academy Awards, including convincing Heidi Klum to come party in a plunging neckline that had us plunging even deeper than that on sight of the German model’s MILFtastic chest ensembles.
So powerful was Heidi’s cleavage last night that she literally and figuratively towered over the other guests, some of whom, such as Miley Cyrus, Olivia Munn, Britney Spears, and Nicki Minaj, definitely deserve a nod from the oglers of their own, but none shined quite as bright as the golden clad Project Runway star. The Kardashian sisters looked like short fat trollops in comparison, or, not even by comparison.
Congratulations to Heidi Klum. We honor you with our bald upright statutes this morning. Enjoy.
I’m not exactly sure how Selena Gomez got to be six feet tall last night at the Vanity Fair Oscar After-Party, and I could care less. Even on the heels of disappointing news that Selena will not be topless in the upcoming Spring Breakers, the Latina diva still stole the show, along with cohort Vanessa Hudgens, both of whom could have only landed hours before this party on their return from a week long European promotion of their bikini flick. Throw in the likes of Rashida Jones, Oliva Munn, Kate Beckinsale, and Miranda Kerr, and you had once again the single best after-party of the year, certainly the finest looking one.
While reviews of last night’s Academy Awards were mixed (I kind of liked some of part of the stuff I remained awake through), when the hotties came out to mix with the actual Oscar nominated talent, things started to get really interesting. Enjoy.
We get so many requests from all of you to show more of 19-year old Disney machine starlet Debby Ryan, and we’ve always understood her natural good looks and youthful allure, but the fact is, she’s not been much of a shower, but she does appear now to finally be growing into her role as more mature starlet, including a flash of her very healthy cleavage at the Vanity Fair Campaign event in Los Angeles.
Now, we’re not suggesting that you go around staring at young women’s bosoms to see who or who is not growing up nicely. That’s our job. And we’ll bring the best of the buxom to you at your desk. We all have our parts to play. Enjoy.
While Minka Kelly remains on our Top 10 list of Hollywood’s most boring celebrities, let’s be real. Dudes don’t really ever call hot women boring, it’s sort of a distinction without importance to the male brain when they’re on a mission, and it’s not something we’re thinking about at the moment as we peruse, leer, and otherwise charcoal sketch the site of her full headlights busting through her dress at the Vanities Calendar event in Los Angeles.
So powerful were Minka’s nipples that we barely noticed Olivia Munn at the same event, and that’s saying something. It’s all fun and games, Minka, until somebody loses an eye. Enjoy.
Jessica Chastain broke out in a big way in her movie career last year topped off with all those award noms for her role in The Help.
Now, she’s breaking out even bigger with a barely covered topless and memorable photos for her cover story in the September issue of Vanity Fair and since we couldn’t bring ourselves to see The Help, well, we’re damn glad we’ve got the perfect chance to see the underrated hotness of Jessica Chastain in a more male-friendly manner, even if on the cover of a women’s magazine.
Hand bras giveth and hand bras taketh away, but today, we’re still quite pleased to see a nice hint of Jessica’s glorious thespianic melons. Enjoy.
Now, color me geo-clueless, but on my way last evening to the Tribeca Film Festival, I somehow got my wires crossed and ended up in an adult cinema on the Lower West Side, and three hours and thirty-seven dollar later after recognizing my boner, err, mistake, I had already missed the Vanity Fair party at the Film Festival which brought out a whole gaggle of hotties showing off their wares.
Thankfully, we got photos. Including Catherine Zeta-Jones, who we see little of these days, but always looks smashing as they say when she comes out to play, Aussie model Nicole Trunfio showing sextastic legs up the wazoo, or very nearly up to her wazoo, Ivanka Trump, who’s pretty hot and very rich, so we lust her, Leelee Sobieski who is ever busty and sweet, V.S. model hottie Jessica White, and barely legal Dakota Fanning make her way into the adult world of evening dress-up that we could not really miss sharing. Quite a party, and you didn’t have to keep putting in quarters to keep it going like at my theater. Enjoy.
Nothing wrong with a magazine celebrating the New Year with some topless photos of Kate Moss, Milla Jovovich and a couple other local to The Boot actresses, so we applaud Vanity Fair Italy for bringing a little boobtastic sunshine to our return to work day. Enjoy.
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