Topless Posts:

Colleen Shannon’s Smoldering Topless Playboy Photoshoot

 

Unbelievably hot model and DJ Colleen Shannon took some time off from spinning records to show off her twin subwoofers. In case my speaker metaphor was confusing, I'm saying that Colleen is topless in this photoshoot for Playboy. Colleen has some of the best funbags in the business, as you can well see. They are simply perfect. If there is a Platonic form of a boob, Colleen's ta-tas are it. She's also bottomless in some of these pics and you see that...ahem...the drapes match the carpet. These pictures are seriously hot.

PLAYBOY TV IS FREE FOR ONE WEEK ACT FAST, OR SLOW, IT'S STILL FREE!

I like Colleen's facial expressions because she looks like a fun tease. She strikes me as the kind of girl that is fun but frustrating to pursue. But it makes the victory of finally getting to swing off them big 'ol boobies that much sweeter. Hell, I'd even listen to her DJ if it meant I might get to touch those puppies. You hear that? I'd voluntarily listen to house music and that stuff kinda sucks.

Sabine Jemeljanova Chest Contacts Sam Cooke in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

If only all earthly conflicts could be settled by warring tribes putting forth their finest and most fantastic funbags to settle all scores. The world suddenly becomes far more interesting. Heck I might even start exercising for real just so I can stick around longer.

This week's Battle of the Boobtastic features Sabine Jemeljanova and Sam Cooke, two beauties of the perfect bosom I couldn't possibly decide between myself. Thankfully, this is your weekly obligation as Egotastic readers and gentlemen of expert chestal knowledge. So, in your humble opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Sabine Jemeljanova vs. Sam Cooke

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Lucie Wilde Topless For So Very Much of What You Need

 

One thing my stoic Uncle Sal has stuck with me since childhood to this very day. After almost three years of gently rubbing his beard and never speaking, Sal leaned into me one evening and said, William, sometimes you need just to rub your face in a couple of big old flesh cans. Then he returned to cracking the sunflower seeds he eternally consumed.

You don't soon forget such sagely words from one of the few relatives who never felt obliged to test your tolerance for pain. I'm often reminded of Uncle Sal's wisdom while staring down the barrels of such unholy goodies as the faptastically enlarged funbags on Lucie Wilde. Oh, I'm sure the critical among us have some criticisms for Lucie. As for me, I just heeding Sal's advice, virtually at least, and letting my mind bounce up against Lucie's mammoth mammaries like a pinball working it's way against the clanking bumpers. Such fun indeed. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Hayley-Marie Coppin Wears Little More Than a Sheer Dress (Then That Comes Off)

 

Take two Hayley-Marie Coppin leers and call me in the morning is what my personal physician should say to me when I call him thrice a a week complaining of chest and gonad region pains. She really is my soothing balm for what ails me. The glamorous glamour model strips down to her lean boobtastic frame with the greatest of ease. In this case, she starts with barely a sheer window curtain around her lust-inducing body, making getting to the good bits rather expedient.

On Wednesday's we like to celebrate, honor, and all-around genuflect before the finest female forms flashing the most faptastic funbags in our general direction. Hayley-Marie Coppin makes me middle of the work week feel like 2am at a bar when an attractive woman has just told me, 'Yes, I'd like to see your Mint-in-Box He-Man action figure collection'. Very positive indeed. Huzzah!

Cora Deitz Topless Perfection Beach Shoot in Interviu

 

You could ask yourself what a Carolina girl is doing topless on the cover of a Spanish magazine, or you could just delight visually in the lust you have found. I choose to focus my energies entirely to my eyeballs to take in the passion inducing body of Cora Deitz and her perfectly pert and perty funbags in Interviu magazine. Wow, Cora may just be getting one lucky dinner invitation to the Sizzler soon from a famous blogger who isn't famous. I'm sure she's excited.

Cora has been doing a bunch of international modeling in manly men's magazines and the like, so the young sextastic beauty is beginning to make a name for herself. We will help as best possible to get her name, and, naturally, her ridiculously hot body, out there as well. It's only three syllables. But a far more complex bit of entertainment. Enjoy.

Julija Steponaviciute Topless Lean Hotness in Elle France

 

No relation to Edita Vilkeviciute, my future hot wife, Julija Steponaviciute is a tall, lean, super hot Lithuanian model presence of her own these days, modeling since a young teen, now in her early 20's and making a big splash in the likes of Elle France where they do love to show off hot model bare boobtastic.

And what a body it is. Julija's body seems to go on forever, which in my mind, it really actually is continuing forever and her perfect Lithuanian funbags, oh, just the absolutely righteous dessert to a hot body meal. I really think I need to start investigating this viciute family lineage in Lithuania, staring with all the 6-foot tall super hot ones. Line them up. The inspection is ready to begin! Enjoy.

I Saw Jaime Pressly on TVLand, Now You Get to See Jaime Pressly Topless in Playboy

 

I do miss this game. This udderly delicious turn at seeing one sextastic celebrity hottie clothed by day, or last night actually when I saw Jaime Pressly in her new TV series, Jennifer Falls. And then by day, see her in one of her exquisitely classic topless pictorials in Playboy Magazine from our friends at Playboy Plus, a site that if you don't belong, you're simply not wasting time on the Internet properly.

Jaime Pressly has been in the news of late both for her new TV show and for talk about some medical issues related to her breast health. We obviously root for all women on Egotastic!, and we obviously root a bit harder for women who are so hot they make our toes burn just from imagining them on top of us on top of hot cement. Why the cement? I'm not sure, I never question my dreams.

Jaime Pressly and oh, a thousand of her super hot celebrity model and actress nekkid friends can be had on Playboy Plus for just $5.83/month now for Egotastic! readers. If you can think of a better way to spend a few bucks a month than perusing an infinite amount of hot photo and video content of Playmates and celebrities, then I'd like to know. Okay, yes, grandma needs to eat, but outside of that, get Playboy Plus. Enjoy life a little more.