Topless Posts:

READER FINDS: Kelly Brook Topless, Nicole Kidman Nekkid, Emma Watson Super Fine and Much Much More…

 

There comes a time in a man's life when he just needs to grab hold of what's near and dear to him and shout, yes, today is the day I get to open the Reader email bag! It really is the day. Each Friday morning I unfurl the velveteen bag originally gifted to me by a fisherman in the North Sea and dump out the weekly bounty of letters from each and every one of you, or some of you, representing all of you, all filled with skin and sextastic and potential for joy. It's my reverse Santa Clause, with a heavy does of a nekkid Mrs. Kringle.

This week's Reader Finds includes our dear friend Jordan Carver covered topless and extra hot in video stills (thank you Egotastic! reader 'Ben B.'), Emma Watson in one spicy hot photoshoot (blessings from 'Devon'), Ione Skye topless in several onscreen appearances (ta-ta throwbacks courtesy of 'Wendy'), Valeria Golino topless on the silver screen (beauty abounds thanks to 'Owen F.'), Catalina Denis topless on the boob tube (dropped off by 'Darian'), Monica Bellucci topless and as ever, wicked hot (thank you kindly to 'Maestro'), Shannon Elizabeth topless and working it (big funion blessings from 'Rob'), Danneel Harris topless and making the sexy (tender moments provided by 'Danny H.'), Miranda Richardson flashing her awesome udders for skinematics (thoughtful puppies views from back in the day via 'Marrion'), Nicole Kidman nekkid and thespianic (Down Under peeps delivered by 'Noel'), Alyssa Sutherland topless in Vikings on TV (don't miss these twin horns from 'Stephen'), Cindy Crawford and her hot supermodel friends in see-through tops (yeah, you'll like that thanks to 'Evan R.'), Stacy Haiduk of Skinemax fame working her onscreen wares (lovelies dished out by 'Les G.'), Kelly Brook topless in her Loaded spread (pun intended and offered up by 'Frank D.'), Sigourney Weaver topless in the tub (daring bared wares thanks to 'Klein'), Angelina Jolie topless in a less heralded role (udders of the hottie from 'Daniel'), Sara Corrales wicked pole dancing in Soho (provided kindly by 'David M.'), and last, but bodaciously not at all least, the boldly busty Lucie Wilde in some of her more adult work (eye spied by porn connoisseurs 'Aaron B.' and 'Jon K.').

Pamela Horton Topless Playboy Delights to Celebrate National Dictionary Day (And a Free Trial Membership to Playboy.TV)

 

It's National Dictionary Day. That's the truth. We're supposed to be celebrating Noah Webster and the creation of books in 4 point font I can't possibly read. But I decided why not celebrate the smartest vocabulary rich Playboy Playmate I've ever had the blessed chance to meet, Pamela Horton. When she's not ridiculously hot and topless for Playboy, Pamela is a seriously overeducated and super smart gamer nerd we had the privilege to meet here at Egotastic because I guess she wasn't smart enough to know better. What a girl. Hot smart geek by day, hot smart geek without her clothes on by night. I know, perfect.

PLAYBOY TV IS FREE FOR ONE WEEK. FREE IS REALLY THE BEST PRICE EVER!

To celebrate the Dictionary, words, and amazingly hot bare hooters, I have to insist you immediately try out a FREE WEEK LONG MEMBERSHIP on Playboy.TV.  I've had zero unsatisfied customers to date. The satisfied ones are too tired to answer the phone with anything other than grunts, which I count on my clipboard as highly satisfied. Nobody complains about bevies of hot nekkid models online in TV form. Even my mom loves it. I let her use my account so she can tell my priest how I turned out. I feel just guilty enough to make it that much more awesome. Give it a test run. You will be most pleased. Enjoy.

Here's Pamela when she came to visit us, all geeked out:

Mylene Thompson Because Topless Busty Asian Are Still Three of My Favorite Words Ever

 

I'm sticking with the hot bosomy girls of the Asian variety for the time being. The exotic sextastic is on a role, including now Mylene Thompson, who is baring her swell funbags in SHOW Magazine this very month. I'm not going to suggest there's something extra special about how girls with an Asian flare and bosomy bare boobtasitc. But I am most definitely going to think it.

Mylene Thompson has the chest of a woman from whom I would gladly take orders. I'm not submissive by nature, but I'm more than willing to learn from the right woman with the spectacular ta-ta's and the appropriate amount of experience to sting, but not injure with her riding crop. It would make for a fun weekend. Or year. Mylene, call me. I'm in the book under slightly desperate or desperately horny. Cross reference and dial. I'm already packed. Enjoy.

Rosie Jones Chest Challenges Courtnie Quinlan in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Sometimes, you've just got to say, hey, hot lady, what you got there under that top that's so darn special? What I like to do is say that to two super fine ladies knowing full well that what each of them has under their tops is so damn enticing I will probably collapse to the floor in a splash of my own flop sweat. Nevertheless, the greater good is served in a little challenge we like to call the Battle of the Boobtastic.

This week's outstandingly sextastic contestants are young veteran champ Rosie Jones and her udders of perfection challenged by the brunette stunner Courtnie Quinlan. One woman will walk away the winner, the other, well, just have to settle for being a great looking woman with a near perfect body. Alas and alack. It remains up to you to decide, to the victor go the eyeball spoils. In your expert opinion, between these two pillars of the passion inducement, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Rosie Jones vs. Courtnie Quinlan

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L. Shima Nekkid Hotness Is Wild and Ready to Inspire

 

Editor's Note: some or all of the media previously associated with this post has been removed.

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My darling Southern future ex-wife and exotic hot model L.Shima is not shy about sharing her lovely Mother Naturally gifts with the rest of the world in various dramatic photoshoot blends. When you've got the tools in the hot lady toolbox L.Shima possesses, you can build a lot of projects ogling gentleman like myself will call inspired. As in this smoky revealing shoot of the benevolent bodied L.Shima teasing her sweet funbags and parts Southerly in a wardrobe that I believe I actually picked out for her in my imagination just last week. Oh, dare to dream and those dreams might just come true.

L.Shima, we are destined to be together in some kind of relationship that admittedly benefits mostly me, but that you can use to feel better about future love interests by comparison. I'd like to be the low-bar setting for all the world's crazy hot women. It would fill my days with smiles and my nights with sweaty groans followed by asking where the remote is. I'm no good, but very affordable. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Emma K in a French Maid Costume Topless in the Conservatory with Colonel Mustard

 

People throw around the word 'cliche' like it's a bad thing. But cliches often come about because they're simply timeless truisms. Like the French maid costume. Sure, it's not fresh, it's cliche. But it works. And it never stops working, not when it's being brought out of the closet once again by the crazy amazing body of Emma K for a striptease shoot in the boudoir. Yes, I am completely willing to suspend my disbelief for any amount of time and believe that Emma K is a maid I've brought over from Marseilles to clean all six hundred feet of my humble abode with a feather duster and a silky low cut asstastic revealing uniform. It could happen.

On Wednesday's, the hump of the work week, why not dream a little dream of hitting the big boobtastic time with the likes of Emma K. Dreams are free and really have yet to be topped by anything on pay cable, though it's often close. Emma K, you blessedly bosomed topless French maid, merci beaucoup. There will be a little something extra in your envelope this week. Huzzah!

Sara Malakul Lane Topless Nekkid Natural Boudoir Bosomy Hotness

 

You really just need to say Thai-English girl and I'm already onboard for whatever. A quick peek, a year long schooner trip around the globe. Sign me up. When that exotic beauty turns out to be Sara Malakul Lane of Sharktopus fame, well then, I'm erasing everybody else's name on the list and moving myself right to the top. She really is one bodaciously endowed brunette sextastic something.

Looking all kinds of bedroom eyes, and bedroom body, in this topless Nate Walton photoshoot, Sara shows why her destiny in Tinsel Town will be far greater than just kitschy Syfy flicks. Oh, no, this star is rising much much fast, despite, you know, being top heavy in the best way possible. Sara, don't take my catatonic leering the wrong way. It just means I care for you as a person. Enjoy.