The Hobbit

Tease Yourself with New ‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ Teaser Trailer

hobbit battle of the five armies trailer
Check out this angry war goblin, y'all...

It seems like only yesterday we were wondering if a Hobbit trilogy would ever get made. Initial development started as far back as 2006, and in 2008 Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens brought in Guillermo del Toro to help write the script and direct. However, only two years after that del Toro was out because he didn’t want to put his entire career on hold while waiting for a financially hobbled MGM to officially greenlight the project, which was then supposed to be just two films.

Of course, not long after del Toro backed out, Jackson step in and agreed to direct. And what do you know? Warner Bros. signed on to distribute the picture and the project was greenlit. Now it’s 2014, production is all wrapped up, the final instalment of the now-trilogy is in the can, and the first teaser trailer has been released to the masses (after premiering at Comic-Con, of course).

As far as teaser trailers go, this one is pretty good, too. The whole thing is set to “The Edge of Night,” a.k.a. the song that one hobbit sings all eerie-like in The Return of the King, and basically the gist is that a big ass war is coming.

Oh, and there’s a glimpse of the Eye of Sauron. But I’m not going to tell you where, because I want you to watch the whole thing and be surprised.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies hits theaters December 17, 2014.

Thug Notes Does ‘The Hobbit’ in Four Minutes With No Need for Evangeline Lilly

Halfling, Please...

Is everyone aware of Thug Notes? It’s an ongoing web series whereby an urban gentleman (Dr. Sparky Sweets, PhD.) breaks down the great works of literature and adds some animation into the mix? It’s a hoot, let me tell you.


‘The Hobbit’ Deleted Scene That Won’t Blow Your Mind (VIDEO)

Halfling, please...

It’s hard to believe that ol’ Pete Jackson and his Hobbit crew edited anything out of the final product. They’ve turned a relatively short book into three three hour movies, after all. And not that there’s anything wrong with that. But come on, guys.

The fact that there’s even a minute of serviceable extra footage is baffling, and yet, when the Blu Ray of the first third comes out in October, it will feature 13 whole minutes of legit scenes. Like the one above. If the rest of them are anything like this one — which features Elrond and Bilbo doing the whole, ‘I thought white people couldn’t dance…’ and ‘I thought black people drove like this…’ kinda thing, but with Hobbits and Elves — we’re in for some trouble. What’s even more baffling is that (as described by the studio) the set will come with:

Nearly nine hours of new special features boasts audio commentary with Peter Jackson, director/producer/screenwriter, and Philippa Boyens, co-producer/screenwriter, and ‘The Appendices,’ a multi-part documentary focusing on various aspects of the film and the Trilogy.

NINE HOURS OF FEATURES!? What the f*ck? I’m a certified Tolkien nerd and all that, but nine hours of not-movie? That better have Jackson copping to the Zodiac Murders or describing elf-sex or something interesting.

‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’ Trailer Is All Kinds of Badass (VIDEO)

How's About Some Dragon?

Well, we know where we’ll be in December: freezing our asses off in line for the next Middle Earth installment, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Warner Brothers dropped the official trailer today and it looks all kinds of badass.

It begins with that question we’ve all been dying to ask Peter Jackson, ‘Where does your journey end?’ (The answer: Two freaking Christmases from now when the final installment hits theaters.)  No matter, in the meantime we get to see some Dwarves riding in barrels, a pissed-off Legolas, and — holy crap, a dragon — yeah, a dragon. While we’re probably not going to see this dragon get his due this year, we’re definitely going to see old Smaug fly and shoot flames and all of that stuff that inspires man-childlike wonderment.

This trailer gets bonus points for showing us a little more of that lady-warrior elf, Tauriel, played by Evangeline Lilly. Since she’s not in the books, we have absolutely no idea whether or not we’ll be cringing through her scenes or cheering her on. We get the hint that it will be mostly cheering, if for no other reason than she’s the only female character in the movie.

‘Hobbit Trilogy’: Evangeline Lilly Will Play a Pretty Sexy and Totally Unnecessary Elf

We’ve got a long journey ahead of us before The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug comes to theaters in December. Two whole seasons, even. When it finally does hit, there will be a fresh female face among the citizens of Middle-earth in the form of an elf warrior played by Evangeline Lilly. Entertainment Weekly released an exclusive sneak peak of her new, somewhat sexy fighting lady elf, Tauriel.

Wait. What? There aren’t any female warrior elves in The Hobbit. Yeah, they’ve totally added a new character that never appeared in the books and basically only serves to sell more toys to girls. Which puts us nerds in the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand, we do love us some Evangeline Lilly. On the other hand, why do they gotta mess with a classic?

Fine, Peter Jackson, pad your pockets, man. We’re going to see whatever you put up there; especially if it involves sexy lady-elves.

‘The Hobbit’ Author J.R.R. Tolkien Doesn’t Let a Little Thing Like Death Get in the Way of Cashing Some Royalty Checks

JRR Tolkien is one of those writers with a fanbase that will eat up just about anything with his name on it. You could shove some dogshit on the street, slap it between two book covers and put his name on it and his fandom would say it’s the most important posthumous work of his since ‘The Silmilarrion’. And that’s why it should come as no surprise that his estate is releasing yet another ‘discovered’ work forty years after the Lord of the Rings-creator’s death. This spring, his unfinished epic poem ‘The Fall of Arthur’ will be released for sale.

But it’s nothing new to capitalize on an author’s name and success well past their demise. Publisher’s are more than happy to release repurposed short story collections, unpublished works, new authors entirely, anything to keep the cash flowing. Sometimes it borders on the insensitive, not even listing that another author has taken over a deceased one’s franchise. So to celebrate JRR’s return, here are eight authors just as–if not more–prolific in the afterlife than they were here on earth.

Just in time for ‘The Hobbit’, It’s Honest Trailers: Lord of the Rings Edition (VIDEO)

honest trailers
Honestly, Peter Jackson?

If 11 hours of The Lord of the Rings wasn’t enough for you, starting tomorrow there’s 11 more on their way when The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the first part of Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy hits theaters. And not to be outdone, you can bet the boys from Screenjunkies were on the case to do their usual tweaking to fanboy favorites.

This time they took aim with their trailer editing skills to all three Lord of the Rings movies, showing exactly why the song ‘I Would Walk 500 Miles’ is a more than apt way of describing most of the action in all three movies. Enjoy.