Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Posts:

Yes, the New TMNT Movie Has a Rap Song, and Yes, It Is Hilariously Terrible

Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign rap about turtles
Apparently Vanilla Ice was not available...

It remains to be seen whether the Michael Bay-produced, Jonathan Liebesman-directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is any good. Personally I have my doubts, but I'm trying to keep an open mind.

One thing we know for sure right now, though, is that the new flick will carry on the tradition of having a really terrible original rap song on the soundtrack.

Now obviously, it's not easy to follow in the footsteps of a rap legend like Vanilla Ice, who changed popular music forever when he recorded "Ninja Rap 2" for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II back in 1991. However, Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign were brave enough to take a stab at it. And while the chorus "Knock, Knock, You About to Get Shell-Shocked" doesn't roll of the tongue as smoothly as "Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go," it's still pretty fantastic.

Don't take my word for it, though. Have a listen to the new song above. Then, after you've let the knew one sink in a bit, compare it to Ice's 1991 classic below.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot hits theaters August 8, 2014.

New ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Trailer Admits That, Yes, Alien Turtles Are Stupid

But apparently Donatello is a bug?

When Michael Bay pulled a Michael Bay and announced that the turtles in his upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot would be aliens, people went apeshit, and understandably so. I mean, they're the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not Teenage Alien Ninjas Who Look Like Turtles. If you change that, you might as well make them 20-something kung fu experts while you're at it.

Fortunately, the negative backlash forced Bay to retreat from this awful idea. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael are once again mutant turtles. And in a nod to the die-hard fans who got their way, in the film's second trailer, they basically just come out and admit the alien thing was a really stupid idea. (Watch it. You'll see.)

Of course, aside from that and a few other sassy one-liners, there's really not that much to get excited about in this trailer. For the most part it's just a typical Michael Bay affair—shiny, explody, and edited so as to induce seizures.

The funny thing is, Michael Bay isn't even the director. Jonathan Liebesman is.

TMNT hits theaters August 8, 2014.

Megan Fox in Tight Jeans Means I’ll Be Seeing TMNT

I'll probably get lots of candy, maybe bring my Kindle, but I'm definitely locked in on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie, or, more precisely, Megan Fox and her still righteous body that I have coveted like a desert wanderer thirsts for water.

Yes, I know it's just Megan Fox in jeans, but I'm guessing those jeans come off at some point. Maybe not in this silly movie, but in my dreams, I assure you. Like they were greased. Enjoy.

Megan Fox Getting Cleavy With It on Set of ‘TMNT’

Now, we're getting somewhere. Megan Fox finally in her April O'Neil wardrobe on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles which by sheer force of Foxiness, I'm going to be compelled to watch, so I hope it's not too horrible.

This is really one of the first times we've seen the new MILFed out version of Megan in some form fitting, cleavy outfits and, well, I suspect we're on the verge of something truly wonderful here. Megan Fox has also been a Top 10er in our books, she hit the skids a bit with her marriage to Brian Austin Green Self-Employed (B.A.G.S.) and her addiction to oversized grubby clothing and big covering hats, but, when Megan Fox turns it on, she can still hit the high notes with the greatest of ease. Enjoy.

Megan Fox Brings a Note of the Sextastic to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Just when you thought you could care less about all the bickering back and forth from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle geek boys, along comes Megan Fox on set of the 2014 scheduled film to make things interesting.

Megan was cast to play the April O'Neil character in this origins story of the four mutant turtles who I really thought we had seen the last of. But, now, seeing Megan Fox back at work assures me I will be spending 2-hours with the ninja fighting turtles come a year from now.

Megan Fox makes everything watchable, and it's not because of her deep acting toolbox. More because of how I would like to return my screwdriver to her toolbox, if I may carry a pun to it's most painful conclusion. Enjoy.