Teen Nick Halo Awards

The More Proper Victoria Justice Becomes, the More Improper Our Thoughts Become

While many of us have been disappointed with just how G-rated uber-hottie teen Nick star Victoria Justice continues to appear even well after her barely legal birthday we waited so long for, well, I like to take the glass-is-half-full take on the entire state of innocence. Perhaps Victoria is just covering up some kind of super freaky deaky private life of cosplay, chains, disturbing things with Nilla wafers, that will ultimately surface and make us all say, ‘Damn, that girl’s crazy’ but in the way a guy says that when he wonders what it might be like to be in the middle of that crazy.

In sophisticated red at the Teen Nick HALO event, Victoria Justice once again showed all the hope and hotness we’ve built up in her leggy little frame. Would we like to peel that dress of her body with our bare teeth while Motley Crue plays epically in the background? Oh, sure, yes, definite yes. But, for now, we’re biding our time while we await the naughty librarian to slip up. Enjoy.