I do so hate to join causes. It’s not that I’m not an incredibly giving, charitable, and also incredibly handsome man. It’s just that I typically get behind some celebrity led action only to discover it wasn’t exactly what I thought it was, or it was run half-arsed, or I just got on a mailing list for stuffed fluffy ponies. I actually love the ponies.
This Free the Nipple campaign certainly seems like something I would be completely behind. I’m not sure it applies to women walking around the city streets topless, being able to breastfeed in public, or just posting topless pictures to Facebook and Instagram. I’m behind that all. And when Karrueche Tran, among others, shows up to a Free the Nipple fundraiser in Hollywood flashing all kinds of sideboob, well, even if less than nipple, consider me intrigued. Naturally, I’ll probably discover after my support that the organization also supports the castration of all men and the removal of the NFL from television to be replaced by more WNBA action. So, apologies in advance. Enjoy.
Okay, I’m going to bitch about Transformers: Age of Extinction, and I’m pretty sure I won’t really like it, but I’m definitely going. I think that either says something about me or about humanity, but probably just me. I actually kind of dug the very first Transformers flick, and Megan Fox, well, that was iconic, but it’s been a long not so slow downhill since that title. Still, I’m every bit the sucker. And, how I wish Nicola Peltz would pick me off the rack to lick. Yes, I said that.
The hot young femme fatale making her big breakout feature in the new Transformers movie was flashing all kinds of my-time-is-now at the Hong Kong premiere of the film this week. Indeed, Nicola, your time is now. And probably for many more years to come. The combination of sextastic and talent on this girl mean’s the sky’s the limit. Now, hopefully she doesn’t get stuck with that cluck of a role they gave Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, but either way, Nicola’s boobtastic is just ready to launch. I can feel it. Enjoy.
How to Train Your Sideboob. I’d watch that movie once or a thousand times. But here comes previously lightly known Greer Grammer, daughter of Kelsey Grammer, and on one of those MTV shows I can’t bring myself to watch. Naturally, I will turn my attention to hot girls with sideboob no matter the trouble, even the How to Train Your Dragon 2 L.A. premiere where Greer had her big coming out party, going a little risque for the otherwise family friendly event. Though I would note that there’s nothing more family friendly than sideboob.
There’s always a special thrill when next-gen celebrities get into the sextastic game with a nearly full commitment. Today, Greer Grammer, you have arrived at the doorstep of Egotastic! Push the doorbell and don’t be surprised if the front door mat drops you into a chute that leads to my basement bungalow. Bungalow sounds so much nicer than survivalist bunker. We will be very happy together. Enjoy.
Leave it to the Kardashians to figure out how to make the new tween futuristic novel by Kendall Jenner and her sister Kylie Jenner the non-focus at a book signing event. You know, nobody really cares about the book, as perfectly written as I’m sure it is. But they do care about seeing Kendall Jenner in a blazer without anything on underneath, flashing a health amount of grown up girl sideboob and cleavage. You don’t often see young women sporting such outfits outside of the chic runways of Paris, but Kendall is a professional catwalker now, in addition to an obviously talented author.
Oh, the Kardashians do so give and take. They take away our dignity perhaps one little bit of the world at a time. But they do give back in luscious shades of exhibitionism and body reveals. Kendall Jenner is just really getting started on her own Kardashian path. I’d say her journey of a thousand skin reveals has begun with some very nice first steps. Enjoy.
Kim Kardashian was seen walking around Paris with her Eiffel Towers practically bursting from her couture. Kim was sporting a very revealing tank top and she “accidentally” forgot to wear a bra, mon dieu! There is all kinds of sideboob action going on. Her funbags shone forth like beacons of American freedom to the Frenchies. There is no denying that Kim’s jugs are spectacular. She knows it too, which is why she so often has them on display. Magnifique! Kim is in France for her wedding and is going to also attend the Cannes Film Festival. Speaking of cans, her legendary booty was also shown off in her tight skirt.
I’m not exactly sure why Kim is going to Cannes, after all there isn’t a category for the Palm d’Or for reality TV… Yet. But I think they should seriously consider adding a “best performance by a pair of ta-tas”. I nominate Kim’s sweater puppies.
It’s hard not to see a pattern here with Lea Michele. I mean, a sextastic exhibitionist chestal region pattern. First, she almost flashed the entire kid world at her Oz animated movie premiere, now she’s not actually contained at all up top in her revealing outfit to the Fox Upfronts where advertisers and affiliates get to see Lea’s funbags talk excitedly about the upcoming season of Glee.
I’m quite certain I’d sign on for whatever knowing the effort Lea put into her wardrobe. I’m assuming she’s wearing some kind of protection to keep her otherwise slipping nipples from poking somebody’s eyes out, which is unfortunate, because a full topless reveal might be good for her show. I know it would do me some good. Lea, we are getting so so close. Enjoy.
Christina Milian has ample room in her heart and on her chest to give the public a solid bit of sideboob while out shopping with Chris Brown’s ex model girlfriend Karrueche Tran. She’s a giving friend. And lending some visuals by way of her almost entirely unchained chest puppies to use gentleman oglers who love to sit and stare as the girls shop on by.
Christina Milian has only gotten more MILFy in the past couple of years, showing off on beach or street or underneath waterfalls and such where I guess hot girls get to go. At some point, she is most definitely going to fall entirely out of one of her little cut up outfits. I couldn’t do this job if I didn’t have buckets full of hope. Enjoy.