Self Magazine Posts:

Miranda Kerr Is Single And Flexible and Wicked Hot

You probably don't have a subscription to Self magazine, but as you know, despite the painful taunts of the middle school skaters outside my front door, I do cherish that time of the month when the ladies magazines arrive at the door step of my pied-a-tierre and I may once again feast upon the inspirational delights of the likes of a freshly single Miranda Kerr posing and preening in her workout gear.

You may know workout gear and stretching as the universal symbol that a woman is over her last man and ready to move on. If you read enough women's magazines, you'll see this pattern repeated quite often. It's right up there with new hair-do. Being a man is far easier. They just have to be spotted with a new girl for the world to see they've moved on. Then again, men don't look like Miranda Kerr in form fitting clothes stretching her fine female form. Enjoy.

Emmy Rossum Shows Off Her Hot Self in (Airbrushed) Lady’s Magazine (Still Hot!)

A little trade secret here. The women's magazine airbrush the shizz out of their celebrity photos even more than the men's magazines do. Apparently, men are a bit more accepting of tiny flaws than the ladies when leering at their favorite celebs. Score one for the dudes!

Emmy Awesome makes an appearance in this month's Self magazine, a newsstand classic perusal while I wait in the grocery store line to purchase my bottle of plastic-bottled tequila behind a customer paying with an out-of-state crumpled and slightly moist check. And, yes, the fools airbrushed the shizz out of the mighty hot Emmy, truly one of our thespianic favorites, but there's still no stopping Awesome good looks from shining through. And Emmy just has it going on in spades these days. Enjoy.