Oh, Jennifer Lopez. You never cease to satisfy. Jenny from the Block showed off her gorgeous body in this sexy spread in Self Magazine. I’ve been a fan of J-Lo’s booty ever since I was in High School. I remember when I went to see her in Selena in 1995 and thought, “Sweet mother of buttcheeks, what an arse!” I said, my eyes bugging out of my head like a cartoon wolf. J-Lo’s bare mid-riff is extraordinary. For a woman her age to be keeping it that tight is a rare thing. Especially after popping out a couple of kids and being married to the likes of Marc Anthony. What I do know is that any day that a scantily clad pic of J-Lo comes across my desk is a happy one for ‘ol Jack.
Jen is a sexy lady and I’m a professional sexy lady appreciator so I should know. I’m going to go back to bed now and dream about Jen and Iggy Azalea’s thumpers shaking in that Booty video.
Photo Credit: Self Magazine
You probably don’t have a subscription to Self magazine, but as you know, despite the painful taunts of the middle school skaters outside my front door, I do cherish that time of the month when the ladies magazines arrive at the door step of my pied-a-tierre and I may once again feast upon the inspirational delights of the likes of a freshly single Miranda Kerr posing and preening in her workout gear.
You may know workout gear and stretching as the universal symbol that a woman is over her last man and ready to move on. If you read enough women’s magazines, you’ll see this pattern repeated quite often. It’s right up there with new hair-do. Being a man is far easier. They just have to be spotted with a new girl for the world to see they’ve moved on. Then again, men don’t look like Miranda Kerr in form fitting clothes stretching her fine female form. Enjoy.
A little trade secret here. The women’s magazine airbrush the shizz out of their celebrity photos even more than the men’s magazines do. Apparently, men are a bit more accepting of tiny flaws than the ladies when leering at their favorite celebs. Score one for the dudes!
Emmy Awesome makes an appearance in this month’s Self magazine, a newsstand classic perusal while I wait in the grocery store line to purchase my bottle of plastic-bottled tequila behind a customer paying with an out-of-state crumpled and slightly moist check. And, yes, the fools airbrushed the shizz out of the mighty hot Emmy, truly one of our thespianic favorites, but there’s still no stopping Awesome good looks from shining through. And Emmy just has it going on in spades these days. Enjoy.