Self Magazine

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Wears A Bikini Top For Self Magazine

Rosie Huntington-Whitely was looking like a model in an LL Bean catalog that I’d like to F. She appears to be yachting in these bikini top pics for Self Magazine. It makes sense. You expect someone with a posh sounding named like Rosie Huntington-Whitely to do a lot of sailing. What I do know is that her luscious boobage looks amazing in these pics. She’s got a nice pair of perkies that is certainly getting my buoy up. I don’t know if that’s an appropriate nautical term for the innuendo I’m trying to make but I think you get the general idea. What I am sure of is that I wouldn’t mind being stuck on a boat with a bikini clad Rosie. Wouldn’t mind at all.

There is something about a woman doing manual labor that does it for me. Maybe it’s that they get all sweaty and flushed. Don’t mind if I do.

Photo Credit: Self Magazine

Natalie Dormer Has Those Crazy Eyes and That Crazy Hot Body for Self

Natalie Dormer seems to be on every single television show and in every movie these days. This is a good thing. The hottie with those crazy girlfriend eyes who I first fell for in the Tudors is everywhere these days, even lady’s magazines like Self showing off a little cleavage and that alluring semi-psycho look. That’s not a criticism. Guys fall for that knowing it’s going to end badly. But what can we do?

Natalie Dormer is one of those lovely lasses you simply can’t forget about when racing through the catalog in your mind of girls that inspire you to greatness, also private time chaffing. I’d sure love to see more of her in lad’s magazines baring her stellar body, but she does treat us to much brave exhibition in her screen work. She’s a gem. And sort of my hero. I hope she’ll eat kippers with me. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Self Magazine

Jennifer Lopez Shows Off Her Body for Self Magazine January 2015

Oh, Jennifer Lopez. You never cease to satisfy. Jenny from the Block showed off her gorgeous body in this sexy spread in Self Magazine. I’ve been a fan of J-Lo’s booty ever since I was in High School. I remember when I went to see her in Selena in 1995 and thought, “Sweet mother of buttcheeks, what an arse!” I said, my eyes bugging out of my head like a cartoon wolf. J-Lo’s bare mid-riff is extraordinary. For a woman her age to be keeping it that tight is a rare thing. Especially after popping out a couple of kids and being married to the likes of Marc Anthony. What I do know is that any day that a scantily clad pic of J-Lo comes across my desk is a happy one for ‘ol Jack.

Jen is a sexy lady and I’m a professional sexy lady appreciator so I should know. I’m going to go back to bed now and dream about Jen and Iggy Azalea’s thumpers shaking in that Booty video.

Photo Credit: Self Magazine

Miranda Kerr Is Single And Flexible and Wicked Hot

You probably don’t have a subscription to Self magazine, but as you know, despite the painful taunts of the middle school skaters outside my front door, I do cherish that time of the month when the ladies magazines arrive at the door step of my pied-a-tierre and I may once again feast upon the inspirational delights of the likes of a freshly single Miranda Kerr posing and preening in her workout gear.

You may know workout gear and stretching as the universal symbol that a woman is over her last man and ready to move on. If you read enough women’s magazines, you’ll see this pattern repeated quite often. It’s right up there with new hair-do. Being a man is far easier. They just have to be spotted with a new girl for the world to see they’ve moved on. Then again, men don’t look like Miranda Kerr in form fitting clothes stretching her fine female form. Enjoy.

Emmy Rossum Shows Off Her Hot Self in (Airbrushed) Lady’s Magazine (Still Hot!)

Emmy Rossum Looks Hot in Self Magazine February 2013
Click to See Uncensored

A little trade secret here. The women’s magazine airbrush the shizz out of their celebrity photos even more than the men’s magazines do. Apparently, men are a bit more accepting of tiny flaws than the ladies when leering at their favorite celebs. Score one for the dudes!

Emmy Awesome makes an appearance in this month’s Self magazine, a newsstand classic perusal while I wait in the grocery store line to purchase my bottle of plastic-bottled tequila behind a customer paying with an out-of-state crumpled and slightly moist check. And, yes, the fools airbrushed the shizz out of the mighty hot Emmy, truly one of our thespianic favorites, but there’s still no stopping Awesome good looks from shining through. And Emmy just has it going on in spades these days. Enjoy.