Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of boobtastic. It’s time for our weekly adventure into the sporting world by way of epically full and hot funbags. The Battle of the Boobtastic in which we take two completely hot innocent young women with stellar melons and pit them against one another in a contest of chestal greatness. Our sport is not yet recognized by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, but that is only a matter of time and a couple envelopes full of Benjamins.
This week’s tasty treats battle pits the veteran bosom of Sabine Jemeljanova against not so surprisingly strong chest puppy contender, Sam Cooke, in a competition I expect to go right down to the missing brassiere underwire. The competition is always fierce, the contestants always sextastic, and the winner always jumping up and down for jiggly joy. Now comes your part. Decisions decisions. Among our two brilliantly hot lasses, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Who dares to bare their wares in challenge to the fine funbags of my red-headed beauty queen Lucy Collett. Okay, granted, Lucy may not be naturally ginger, but she is naturally endowed with some of the finest lady curves on this planet. Therefore, I do not envy the task of the albeit hot herself Lissy Cunningham as she places her sweet puppies front and center in a Battle of the Boobtastic with Lucy.
The prize goes to the bold among us. But today there can be only one prize awarded. The vaunted imaginary briefcase full of small denomination bills that goes to the more impressive of the udderly fine contestants in today’s battle. Now, it’s time for you to pick the winner. Between these two stout lasses, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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It’s time. The time to unfurl the tops off of two lusciously endowed ladies to decide who among them is most fit to be the boobtastic queen for a week. We never get more serious on this site than at this very moment of, what would be called in a very bad teen emo sci-fi trilogy, The Choosing.
But, choose you must, between the blessed funbags of Poppy Rivers, an ever charming lass, and Courtnie Quinlan, who never fails to deliver alluring chest puppy goodness during these Battle of the Boobtastic competitions. I don’t envy your role in this drama. Between the two of these fine female forms, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Prime time matchup this week, as I guess every week. But unlike say, the UFC, where they pretend the contender is a legit contender, this week’s Battle of the Boobtastic features two sets of melons for whom any farmer would secretly slay and bury his neighbor to possess. At least, that’s how I imagine farming to be, I’ve never actually stepped foot outside a city for fear of the moon people.
Mellisa Clarke and Sam Cooke are two silent ‘e’ name ending beauties with the bosom to match. I’d hate to have to be the one to decide which has the finer rack. So I won’t be the one. You will. Mellisa and Sam — who’s ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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I hate to use the word battle this week as so many real world type conflicts rage. But it does serve as a reminder to make love, not war, and if you can’t make love, just imagine you are with the aid and benefit of the several hundred million great looking women walking the face of this planet. Release your hostility in a more fruitful manner. End of speech. On to boobs.
Irish eyes are smiling upon Emily O’Hara this week as she and her sweet peaches take on the unimaginably difficult task of dethroning blonde bombshell Rhian Sugden. I don’t envy Emily in her challenge, though I do so badly want to give her supportive spank on her panties covered bottom as she tries. Thankfully, I need not carry the burden of selecting the winner. This awesome responsibility falls onto your shoulders. Decide you must, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Our dear darling glamour hottie Sabine Jemeljanova sure likes she’s been getting some sun of late. I suppose the life of a really good looking woman with an amazing body is slightly different than that of a blogger built in the shape of a Hostess Sno-Ball. Hence, she is thirty-seven shades darker than I. But, more importantly, can Sabine’s tanned tubes stand up to the outrageously sextastic female form of Staci Noblett, a girl so hot she sounds like your favorite dish at a restaurant.
Two girls, four funbags, only one winner. You must decide. It is your sacred Ego-civic duty. Between these two fair lasses, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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With all the unnecessary violence erupting in the world, perhaps now more than ever we ought remind ourselves that there are so many more fruitful and less destructive means of competition and battle that a civilized society can support. Sporting competitions come to mind, none perhaps more safe and sane and satisfying than a battle of amazing funbags, the love of which binds us universally as one people. Put down the swords and pick up the binoculars, this is a time for peace and and epic tubes.
This week’s Battle of the Boobtastic pits the deliciously delightful Kym Graham in a fete of chest against veteran Poppy Rivers. While one woman will walk away with the virtual winnings and one shall slink away in shame, there are no real losers in this matchup, only varying degrees of girls I’d let empty my bank account to go shopping for something slinky. However, your solemn duty to select the winner remains in effect, so, in your humblest of opinions, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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