Page 3 Magazine Posts:

Nicole Neal Dareth to Chesty Challenge Mellisa Clarke in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

I love women. I love all women, with a special place in my charcoal filled heart for the sextastic celebrities I leer at all day and into the evenings. But each Thursday I do find the administrative need to make one girl shed tears of disappointment, as two stupendously sextastic women go head to head, err, chest to chest, in our weekly Battle of the Boobtastic.

This week's contest of the blessed cones pits blonde bits of gorgeous Nicole Neal against our belusted alt-brunette hottie, Mellisa Clarke, in a completely visceral challenge of who has the finer chest. As if I wouldn't shank any of you in the shower for the chance to fondle either perky pair, but, today, we must choose between the better of two goodies. The supreme teats of visual treats. Decide you must: whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Nicole Neal vs. Mellisa Clarke

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Kelly Hall Literally Holds Her Own Against India Reynolds in The Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Well, hello there, young ladies. You want to what? Take off your tops and pit your precious puppies against one another in competition of quantity, quality, and lust-inducement-ability? Fair enough, but don't take this decision lightly, Kelly Hall and India Reynolds. Because when I turn on the spotlights and open up the Thunderdome, there is no going back. You and your sweet chesty meats will be judged by a million and one men with motorboat fantasies that only end when their neck strain becomes too intense to continue.

So be it. Kelly and India, two supremely fine contestants in the Battle of the Boobtastic. But only one can take home the chintzy prize package. So, I ask you, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Kelly Hall vs. India Reynolds

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Sam Cooke Dares Disrobe Her DD’s To Challenge Holly Peers in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

I don't like to play favorites. I will equally aggressively beg and suck up to any hot woman I can find, without distinction for name or class or background, or even chest size for that matter. Large and super large both work fine for me. So I tell you quite earnestly that when we pit the gloriously hot Sam Cooke against veteran divine Holly Peers, in a funbag to funbag contest of goodness, I really have am happy for whomever you decide deserves to take home the $1 million Battle of the Boobtastic prize each week (minus, naturally, a $1 million service fee from Egotastic, we're still cheaper than Ticketmaster).

So, please, decide away to the most honest of your inner yearnings. Make not points for anything other than your earnest evaluation of the perty plush pears on the frontside of these two luscious ladies. Among these two fine female forms, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Sam Cooke vs. Holly Peers

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Poppy Rivers Chests Up to Staci Noblett in the Battle for Boobtastic Supremacy

 

It's time. To pit the blessed peaches of two beautiful women head to head, chest to chest, lust to lust in sweet contest we like to call Battle of the Boobtastic. The world has yet to invent a finer means for qualitatively distinguishing between two sextastic ladies with mighty fine funbags than this here little weekly contest. Though I'm quite certain scientists from around the world are working on a competitive offering.

This week's voters challenge places the beautiful Poppy Rivers in direct DD conflict with Staci Noblett, no stranger to contests of the chest puppy variety. While I would shank any one of you in the showers for five minutes alone with either of these two wicked hot ladies, only one may walk home with the trophy, the other, perhaps wishing she had stayed in laser hair removal school. Alas, the giggles and tears of life intermix on every occasion. So, I ask you, as your most important decision of the day, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Poppy Rivers vs. Staci Noblett

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Courtnie Quinlan Chests Up to Newcomer Lissy Cunningham in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Well, well, well, what do we have here? A new contender for the title of the hottest funbags on the planet of the week in the middle of the polar vortex? Indeed. Blonde hottie Lissy Cunningham has entered the Thunderdome of the ta-ta's and lifted her shirt up against brunette veteran Courtnie Quinlan in the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic. Oh, man, this promises to be a revelation of a chest-down.

As always, one girl will go home with the virtual gold cup, while the other will run off in tears wondering why her cups came in second. This is the sad reality of competition. But not self-esteem 'we're all winners here' in the cages of juggy battles. So, you must decide, in your experienced and wise opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Courtnie Quinlan vs. Lissy Cunningham

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2014 Edition of Battle of the Boobtastic Kicks Off With Rosie Jones and Kym Graham in Teatly Contest

 

Everybody talks about evolving and resolutions and all sorts of opportunity for growth and maturity with the start of a new year. Meh, I prefer the eternally juvenile. So much more fun. Like our weekly contests between the proud chests of two super fine ladies battling it out in our Thunderdome of the Tittastic. Sure, it might be a bit sophomoric, but aren't most grand things in life? I'll leave the 'read more classic literature' and 'save a forest' type promises to my more motivated and Facebook lunch picture posting friends. As for me, I continue to love boobs until the end of days.

How can one not marvel at the delicious delights of the likes of Rosie Jones and Kym Graham, and not wish that to be your eternal resolve. Four perfect melons, divided by twos, and pit in the contest of the most delicious. Now, for the first time in 2014, you must again decide the most pertinent issue of the day, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Rosie Jones vs. Kym Graham

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Lacey Banghard Teat Targets Nicole Neal in the Last Battle of the Boobtastic for 2013

 

Why not go out with the Battle of the Boobtastic in 2013 the same way we came in. Two epically hot women with outstanding mammaries battling each other for chestal supremacy. We call it a fight, but it's truly a love-in. Like a dad beating sense into his coming of age son. Except without the actual child abuse and no men involved at all. Just the glorious funbags this week of Lacey Banghard and gal pal Nicole Neal, both poses and ready for battle.

We'd love to award both girls with blue ribbons for melon perfection. But, alas, only one girl can take home the booby prize and you must decide who. Whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic: Lacey Banghard vs.Nicole Neal

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