Page 3 Magazine Posts:

Rhian Sugden and Sam Cooke Throwdown Their Tops in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Four funbags enter, only two leave. It's the rule. It's always been the rule. It shall forever more be the rule. Each week we line up two luscious and lovely ladies with heaven sent chest puppies to compete in the Thunderdome of the hot melons. We don't do this for sport or sheer entertainment or even prurient passion, we do it for... no, wait, those last three were the reasons. My notes got mixed up.

This week's Battle of the Boobtastic features two women I'd gladly shove any of you out of my car on the freeway just to be alone with. Rhian Sugden, my blonde natural betty, and Sam Cooke, whose body makes me almost want to get a real job. That's powerful on both ends of the ring. But only one woman may walk home with the trophy made entirely of expired cheese. And you must decide. Whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Rhian Sugden vs. Sam Cooke

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Courtnie Quinlan and Her Yams of Glory Take on Mellisa Clarke and Her Sweet Peaches in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

That old slogan make love not war always seemed kind of silly to me. Unless you always have the option to do the first, you can get a bit grumpy which can lead to the latter. So I like to put forth, ogle funbags, not make war, as I can guarantee you an endless stream of some of the finest boobtastic this side of the known galaxy every day here on Egotastic! In fact, we have so many delicious funbags, we're pulling the finest of our melons and pitting them against one another in a mocked up competition we like to call The Battle of the Boobtastic. Now this, and the NFL, are two kinds of brutal mano a mano I can truly get behind.

This week's BoB pits the fierce and fiery chestal beauties of Courtnie Quinlan versus our favorite alt brunette naturally hot Mellisa Clarke. Two women, four perfect plums, but only one winner. And it's up to you to decide. Betwixt these two visions of bare bosom perfection, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Courtnie Quinlan vs. Mellisa Clarke

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India Reynolds Goes Breast To Breast With Rhian Sugden In Our Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

It's time once again to pick between two super hot women for who is the most sextastically boobtastic. It is a difficult challenge to choose between such fine specimens as these two Page 3 girls. It's like selecting which one of your children you love more. No, it's tougher than that because there is always one kid you love more than the other. But I feel drawn to each of these ladies equally. You can examine their ample assets to figure out which you'd prefer to motorboat. Ultimately, it's a matter of preference and I wonder which one you will pick.

This week our two ladies are India Reynolds and Rhian Sugden going head to head in our Battle of The Boobtastic. I like to pretend that rather than just having our dear readers choose, these two lovely ladies go at each other with giant gloves on in a foxy boxing match. Maybe in a pool of Jell-O. Yeah. So, which girl do you choose to be the most Boobtastic, India or Rhian?

Battle of the Boobtastic: India Reynolds vs. Rhian Sugden

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Sabine Jemeljanova Drops Top Against Sam Cooke In the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of boobtastic. It's time for our weekly adventure into the sporting world by way of epically full and hot funbags. The Battle of the Boobtastic in which we take two completely hot innocent young women with stellar melons and pit them against one another in a contest of chestal greatness. Our sport is not yet recognized by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, but that is only a matter of time and a couple envelopes full of Benjamins.

This week's tasty treats battle pits the veteran bosom of Sabine Jemeljanova against not so surprisingly strong chest puppy contender, Sam Cooke, in a competition I expect to go right down to the missing brassiere underwire. The competition is always fierce, the contestants always sextastic, and the winner always jumping up and down for jiggly joy. Now comes your part. Decisions decisions. Among our two brilliantly hot lasses, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Sabine Jemeljanova vs. Sam Cooke

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Lucy Collett Battles Lissy Cunningham For a Red on Blonde Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Who dares to bare their wares in challenge to the fine funbags of my red-headed beauty queen Lucy Collett. Okay, granted, Lucy may not be naturally ginger, but she is naturally endowed with some of the finest lady curves on this planet. Therefore, I do not envy the task of the albeit hot herself Lissy Cunningham as she places her sweet puppies front and center in a Battle of the Boobtastic with Lucy.

The prize goes to the bold among us. But today there can be only one prize awarded. The vaunted imaginary briefcase full of small denomination bills that goes to the more impressive of the udderly fine contestants in today's battle. Now, it's time for you to pick the winner. Between these two stout lasses, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lucy Collett vs. Lissy Cunningham

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Poppy Rivers Fires the First Chest Rounds Against Courtnie Quinlan in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 

It's time. The time to unfurl the tops off of two lusciously endowed ladies to decide who among them is most fit to be the boobtastic queen for a week. We never get more serious on this site than at this very moment of, what would be called in a very bad teen emo sci-fi trilogy, The Choosing.

But, choose you must, between the blessed funbags of Poppy Rivers, an ever charming lass, and Courtnie Quinlan, who never fails to deliver alluring chest puppy goodness during these Battle of the Boobtastic competitions. I don't envy your role in this drama. Between the two of these fine female forms, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Poppy Rivers vs. Courtnie Quinlan

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Mellisa Clarke Boob-Spars With Sam Cooke in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

 

Prime time matchup this week, as I guess every week. But unlike say, the UFC, where they pretend the contender is a legit contender, this week's Battle of the Boobtastic features two sets of melons for whom any farmer would secretly slay and bury his neighbor to possess. At least, that's how I imagine farming to be, I've never actually stepped foot outside a city for fear of the moon people.

Mellisa Clarke and Sam Cooke are two silent 'e' name ending beauties with the bosom to match. I'd hate to have to be the one to decide which has the finer rack. So I won't be the one. You will. Mellisa and Sam -- who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Mellisa Clarke vs. Sam Cooke

  • Sam Cooke Whip Up a Chesty Recipe in My Kitchen Any Day! (51%, 3328 Votes)
  • Mellisa Clarke Is Dark and Boobtastic Perfection! (49%, 3136 Votes)

Total Voters: 6464