Page 3 Magazine

Lissy Cunningham Urges Lucy Collett To Bring on the Ta’s for the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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With so much upheaval in the world, I do hope people will once again look at my forward thinking plan to settle all future disputes by contest of hot girls with outrageously plump funbags. I know there’s some thrill in full scale bloodletting, but I really do believe sweater puppies properly unleashed can save this world of the need for such primitive forms of conflict resolution. Think of it as pacifism with a twist of crazy fine melons.

This week’s non-violent Battle of the Boobtastic pits blonde bodacious battler Lissy Cunningham against my ginger lovely Lucy Collett. I could never possibly play favorites among two girls to whom I’d give my entire world for just one appropriately placed kiss. However, you must play favorites. It’s your sacred duty. In your veteran ogling opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lissy Cunningham vs. Lucy Collett

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Holly Peers Puts Ta’s and Country Against Sabine Jemeljanova in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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Sure, the competition down in Brazil these past few weeks has been somewhat thrilling. But I don’t think even the World Cup can match the sheer vitality of the sport of boob battles. I mean, in soccer, you can’t even use your hands, whereas in the Battle of the Boobtastic, the girls are heavily encouraged to do so. I could go on with the comparisons if I were more creatives.

This week’s contest on the pitch features the world class chesty goodness of Holly Peers matched up against the robust, but dainty feminine guiles of Sabine Jemeljanova. It’s a match made in heaven, at least heaven is the place you’ll need to be to experience this match close up. Now, in your humble but expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Holly Peers vs. Sabine Jemeljanova

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Battle of the Boobtastic for the Ages: Rosie Jones Chest Thumps Rhian Sugden

 
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Every now and then a conflict comes along that everyone must agree is absolutely righteous. I don’t mean silly rap feuds or even global nuclear showdowns, I’m talking about the important stuff. Like two titans of the tittastic, Rosie Jones and Rhian Sugden, stepping into the caged heat that is the Battle of the Boobtastic. Two lovely award winning ladies with fierce face and hot chests ready to focus on just one goal — winning. It’s really pretty moving.

I don’t envy those of you who must cast the deciding votes as to which of these naturally racktastic angels is of the higher order. The stakes are high, the breasts are real. In your humble opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Rosie Jones vs. Rhian Sugden

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India Reynolds Chests Up to Nicole Neal for a Funbag Showdown in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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The battles may end, but the war shall never cease. Strike that, in reverse, the war is over, but the battles continue on, most definitely when we’re talking about the web’s #1 rated contest of teat-vs-teat we like to call the Battle of the Boobtastic. Four may enter, but only two may leave. Well, okay, we let all four out, but two get to go home with a prize pinned in their cleft declaring that on this day, they had the finest udders in the land.

This week’s Battle of the Boobtastic pits super brunette sweetie India Reynolds against veteran blonde and chesty hottie, Nicole Neal. While I’d push any of you in front of a moving train if it bought me five minutes in the broom closet alone with either, that’s not really my option today. Today is for you to decide the winner and the girl who could’ve been the winner but didn’t win and when she cries I’ll have my hanky conveniently at the ready. So, in your humble, yet expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: India Reynolds vs. Nicole Neal

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Lacey Banghard Gets Into the Ta-Ta Ring With Courtnie Quinlan; It Be Battle of the Boobtastic Time!

 
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I’m a pacifist by nature and temperament. I take that whole make love not war slogan to heart. Not for political reasons. I just really like making love. And women. War is not as fun. But we still do have that competitive instinct for battle and dominance. So, I’ve combined my passion with the cathartic feel of gladiator battles by pitting two sweet hotties with amazing racks against one another in the arena of the awesome we like to call, the Battle of the Boobtastic.

This week’s BOB features our finely monikered Lacey Banghard and her sweet plums against Courtnie Quinlan and her perfectly perty pair. It’s a chest to chest battle that can only be decided by the wisdom of your eyeballs and clicks. You must decide between two hotties, like Solomon, render a wise decision. I don’t envy you in these matters. But I do count on you. In your expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lacey Banghard vs. Courtnie Quinlan

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Lissy Cunningham Tells Rhian Sugden, Yo, I Got Your Funbags Right Here, In the Topless Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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I’m not sure she actually said that, but once we pit our two female warriors in the Thunderdome of the heavenly teats, you never know what kind of passions might ensure. The girls, my own, it can all get very emotionally and physically messy, if all goes well.

Once again we have two of the finest ladies on the planet baring their wares for a chance to be crowned winner of the Battle of the Boobtastic. Will it be Lissy Cunningham or Rhian Sugden in this ferocious hot battle of the even hotter blondes? Heck if I know. As always, you the time wasters at work and school must choose the fate of the ladies. Between these two heavenly female forms, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lissy Cunningham vs. Rhian Sugden

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Mellisa Clarke Topless Pooltime Boobtime Battle With Holly Peers

 
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This is like watching your two best friends fight. If your two best friends happen to be wicked hottie bodacious funbagged glamour models. In which case, you’re a pretty lucky man. But who to root for is the question. Mellisa Clarke, the crazy alluring alt-brunette hottie with the yams of a goddess? Or Holly Peers who has literally restarted my heart with her heaving bosom on more than one occasion?

With the privilege of choices comes the responsibility of difficult decisions. As you must today in the Battle of the Boobtastic, choose between the chesty goodness of two completely deserving women. Between these two ladies of the deep blue allure, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Mellisa Clarke vs. Holly Peers

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