Page 3 Magazine

Lissy Cunningham Blonde Rack Attacks Courtnie Quinlan in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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You really hate to see blonde on brunette chesty violence. And, by hate, I mean you want to buy front row seats and a bag of circus peanuts candy, which I’m pretty sure are a healthy source of protein. But darn if Lissy Cunningham and her blonde ambitions isn’t throwing down this week in the Battle of the Boobtastic against petite but busty brunette Cournie Quinlan to see who has the finer chest puppies in the final week of August.

Game on. I haven’t been able to make an important decision since I went with PB&J over cheese sandwich in first grade cafeteria. So, I turn to you, my faithful readers and office time wasters. In your vaunted, valued, and otherwise prurient opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lissy Cunningham vs. Courtnie Quinlan

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Holly Peers Puts Her Twin Bills Up Against Rhian Sugden In the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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Two titans of the double-chest delights step into the ring today to contest for the title of this week’s hottest mama jammas. Holly Peers, who I would without hesitation shank any of you in the prison shower for two minutes of conjugal time, takes on Rhian Sugden, who is the naturally naturalist (well, maybe not the hair) with a body that men fight wars over. This entire Battle of the Boobtastic seems so incredibly primeval. I love it.

Now, it’s your turn to choose the winner and the not winner. The finer pair of funbags that we shall praise on high as if our lives depended on it. In your humblest of humble opinions, and your expert knowledge of all things chesty good, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Holly Peers vs. Rhian Sugden

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Nicole Neal Takes Off Her Top to Contest Mellisa Clarke in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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Time for the weekly throwdown showdown when we pluck two perfectly hot glamour models from the world of giving men so very much to see and insist they go melon-a-melon in the Thunderdome of perfect chesty goodness to determine the finest pair of pert puppies for the week. Some have called me mad for running such a heartfelt heartless game of ridiculously hot bodied perfection. But I hear worse daily from my own family, so your words can no longer hurt me.

Today’s Battle of the Boobtastic features the so ever sextastic Nicole Neal and her blonde charms against the most au natural of brunettes in the temptation laden Mellisa Clarke. There are no losers in the Battle of the Boobtastic, just a loser. One girl who must go home and shed the tears of the udderly disappointed. And you must decide whose Fate this shall be today. In your expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Nicole Neal vs. Mellisa Clarke

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India Reynolds Motions for Rosie Jones to Step Forward and Battle Boobs

 
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It’s always difficult for me when two particularly favorite ladies of the lust-inducement industry step into the same round ring of titular excellence to compete chest to chest for the top melons of the week. It’s like kissing your cousin, if your cousin happens to be crazy hot with a rack built in heaven itself.

In this week’s Battle of the Boobtastic, India Reynolds takes on Rosie Jones for the ultimate conflict of sweet teats smooshed up against one another in contention for the crown. I haven’t the stomach or heart to decide between these two luscious female forms. So, decide you must, break a heart, elate a soul, it’s up to you. Between these two faptastic sweethearts, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: India Reynolds vs. Rosie Jones

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Lacey Banghard Chests Up to Sam Cooke for Game on in Boobtastic Battle Mode

 
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I love it when the girls get together for a little flouncy funbag in your face time. It’s the world’s least violent and most arousing competition we like to call the Battle of the Boobtastic. Two lovely ladies, four faptastic chestal fineries. One will walk away with the prize package of my earnest appreciation and un-ending desire while the other will walk away with pretty much the same.

I don’t play favorites. But in the contest of summer melons betwixt Lacey Banghard and Sam Cooke, you must do that very thing. In your talented and experienced opinion, between these two ladies of my dreams, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lacey Banghard vs. Sam Cooke

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Lissy Cunningham Urges Lucy Collett To Bring on the Ta’s for the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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With so much upheaval in the world, I do hope people will once again look at my forward thinking plan to settle all future disputes by contest of hot girls with outrageously plump funbags. I know there’s some thrill in full scale bloodletting, but I really do believe sweater puppies properly unleashed can save this world of the need for such primitive forms of conflict resolution. Think of it as pacifism with a twist of crazy fine melons.

This week’s non-violent Battle of the Boobtastic pits blonde bodacious battler Lissy Cunningham against my ginger lovely Lucy Collett. I could never possibly play favorites among two girls to whom I’d give my entire world for just one appropriately placed kiss. However, you must play favorites. It’s your sacred duty. In your veteran ogling opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Lissy Cunningham vs. Lucy Collett

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Holly Peers Puts Ta’s and Country Against Sabine Jemeljanova in the Battle of the Boobtastic

 
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Sure, the competition down in Brazil these past few weeks has been somewhat thrilling. But I don’t think even the World Cup can match the sheer vitality of the sport of boob battles. I mean, in soccer, you can’t even use your hands, whereas in the Battle of the Boobtastic, the girls are heavily encouraged to do so. I could go on with the comparisons if I were more creatives.

This week’s contest on the pitch features the world class chesty goodness of Holly Peers matched up against the robust, but dainty feminine guiles of Sabine Jemeljanova. It’s a match made in heaven, at least heaven is the place you’ll need to be to experience this match close up. Now, in your humble but expert opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Holly Peers vs. Sabine Jemeljanova

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