Page 3 Magazine Posts:

Mellisa Clarke Pits Her Peaches Against Holly Peers in the Weekly Battle of the Boobtastic

By Bill Swift | May 16, 2013 @ 11:54 am

Wow, this must be what those parents who have kids playing on opposing pro sports teams feel in those games where their offspring go head to head. Who to root for? You're going to have to turn your back on one of your favorites at some point, watch them lower the head into their hands, and still all the while take joy in the triumph of your winning progeny. Precisely why I intend to have athletically untalented children. I couldn't bear it.

But equally hard for me is a Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic between two of my absolutely all-time darlings. The alt-brunette supreme queen Mellisa Clarke, and Holly Peers, whose amazing funbags I feel like I've imagined fondling since before my balls dropped. I can not make a choice. And, luckily, I don't have to. That burden falls on you. So, as difficult as it is, I ask you, who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

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Katia Ivanova Chests Up to Lacey Banghard in an Epic Battle of the Boobtastic

By Bill Swift | May 2, 2013 @ 1:30 pm

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Wow, one of our brunette favorites against one ridiculously hot blonde who is fast climbing up our charts of happiness. This promises to be a noteworthy battle as two super sextastic glamour models put their chests to the ultimate showdown in the Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic.

In one corner, Katia Ivanova, one striking fair haired beauty if I've ever seen one, pitting her puppies against former Page 3 Idol winner Lacey Banghard. The sounds of smooshing heavenly flesh can be heard echoing through the valley. Both lovely lasses so deserving of a win, but only one can take the weekly title. In your humble opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

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Emily O’Hara Dares Chest Up to Lucy Collett In This Week’s Battle of the Boobtastic (But Can She Win?)

By Bill Swift | April 25, 2013 @ 11:55 am

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I've kind of got my Irish up this week, and how can I not when Emily O'Hara throws her fine pair in the ring against ginger curvaceous darling Lucy Collett. Not since Gentleman Jim Corbett took the title from John Sullivan have we seen such a sporting tournament between two children of Irishy type descent. And while that 19th century pugilistic battle will be forever remembered, if I'm going to see two people dancing around topless and sweaty, I'd just assume it was Emily and Lucy.

But, alas, as the Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic is nothing if not a true sport, one must win, and one must lose. So, in your most humble of opinions, who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

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Danni Wells Goes Blonde to Blonde with Nicole Neal in the Battle of the Boobtastic

By Bill Swift | April 18, 2013 @ 10:19 am

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Do blondes have more fun? Well, they have some stiff, make them, fluffy, competition this week in the Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic as delightfully delicious Danni Wells pits her two chest puppies up against the fully loaded fineries of Nicole Neal. Two blonde bombshells exploding with funbag goodness.

While modern culture self-esteemers would like us to declare both girls as winners so everybody can go home happy, veterans of these jug battles know that a victor must be crowned. One winner, one not winner who we'd love to console in our tents after the event. So, you must decide. Who's ta-ta's reign supreme?

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Thank God It’s Funbags! Sabine Jemeljanova Topless Twosome for Weekend Splendor

By Bill Swift | April 12, 2013 @ 1:11 pm

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Sabine Jemeljanova Topless Poolside Shoot for Page 3

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We made it, oh yes we did. But if you think for a minute you survived another week of work, school, kids, or legal confinement without the aid and assistance of motherly loving funbags, then you're kidding yourself. Whether or not you even know it, the fleshy chest puppies are always there to cushion your weekly ride. Not saying you need to do it all of the time, but every now and then, how about a little unprompted thank you to boobs. Just pick any random pair and let out the gratitude. Try not to get slapped.

This week's final twosome belongs to the British beauty Sabine Jemeljanova from a recent poolside shoot for Page 3. Sabine combines allure, lust inducement, and some spectacular funbags in precisely the right proportions for a weekend sendoff. So, flip, ogle, smile, repeat. You do owe it to yourself. Thank God It's Funbags!

Rosie Jones and Her Chest of Gold Accepts Challenge from Kym Graham in Battle of the the Boobtastic

By Bill Swift | April 11, 2013 @ 11:29 am

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Wow, talk about diving head first into the flesh-filled boobtastic wars, newcomer Kym Graham goes all in in her inaugural Battle of the Boobtastic competition, challenging none other than fan favorite Rosie Jones.

There's dipping and then there's plunging. And while we applaud Kym's bold entry, we also must let her know that only one thing matters in this Battle, well, two things, ripe, sweet, perfect funbags on the front side of a beautiful woman. No outside influences should be considered. So, as to Kym's bold challenge, did it work or was it futile. Whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

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Chloe Saxon Goes Chest to Chest with Kelly Hall in the Topless Battle of the Boobtastic

By Bill Swift | April 4, 2013 @ 12:17 pm

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This is only Chloe's second appearance in the Battle of the Boobtastic, and it's fair to say she's one to keep an eye on. All the sextastic glamour models of the BotB are ones to keep an eye or two on. Why not spend your days staring into the bare beautiful bodies of some of the world's finest women. I do it and I highly recommend it.

But all is not clover and lollipops in the land of the topless hotties. For on Thursdays, we do battle, a fierce melee betwixt the mammaries of two fine women like Chloe Saxon and Kelly Hall, featured girls in Page 3 magazine, now pitting their puppies against one another on the field of funbags. One will win, one will lose. One will jump in triumph, the other, bow their head in temporary defeat. But you must decide, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?