Heidi Klum really is one of my favorites. Not only because she’s technically an eligible bachelorette, a hot 40-year old German model with strict principles in the bedroom, and, a woman who could keep me in the comfortable lifestyle to which I hope to become accustomed to. But also because she’s one of those famous celebrities not super caught up in worrying about being caught flashing her body parts on occasion.
No freaking out for Heidi when, say, her nipples start falling out of her bikini top in the Bahamas. Heck, she doesn’t even notice or even care for a good long amount of time. And good for Heidi. Beautiful women have nothing to be ashamed of in the flashing department. If anybody should be ashamed, it’s me and my current thoughts on what I’d like to be doing with Heidi’s nipples. Really, I am a troubled man. Enjoy.
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It’s funny, when photos from this Editorialist magazine first appeared, many people thought that Danish Delight Nina Agdal had her a little post production enlargement on her sweet chesty treats. But now we get to see Nina in her video from the shoot and those funbags are all Agdal and very much a part of my day time dreams here. Oh, how lucky are Nina’s hands to be able to fondle her own pert and precious pair.
Nina obliged with some nipple slipping as well in this photoshoot probably meant for the fairer sex, but most definitely inviting thoughts of making the sexy by the gruff and bearded gender. Sometimes I think about how blessed we were the day Nina came into our visual lives. But mostly I just mumble grunts under my breath and ogle her fine female form. Thinking is overrated. Enjoy.
Yesterday we met L.A. model Bo Osinski who is the latest hottie tapped to pimp the photo shizz out of 138 bottled water. You can see her full crack-a-lacking asstastic and braless and panties-less set below:
In her second round of shooting, Bo has now offered up a little bit of nips in hopes that your hydration quotient will rise, if that actually means anything, and her headlights will drive you toward fancy bottled water purchases. I suppose that would work on a softie like me who can’t say no to a nipple. If her teats could actually dispense the water, we might have a major sales phenomenon on our hands. Enjoy.
Well, only MOST every hot girl in the world was in Miami for the three-day weekend, a few did reserve their hotness for the West Coast, including notably Maryna Linchuk who took to the coast to find a woman with a spray bottle generous enough to shoot her sheer dress for this crazy sextastic photoshoot.
Now, Maryna Linchuk was already coming into this game with the generous genetic gifts of a world-class hottie, but you start throwing in trick plays like spritzing down her boobtastic and baring her steamy wet nipples and you suddenly have a photoshoot for the ages. Naturally, my only disappointment is that my application for funbag-wetter was rejected out of hand merely because of a stupid background check. Granted, I once used my tongue instead of the proscribed garden spray bottle, but that just means I’m zealous in my work. That should be praised! Maryna, call me, I’m ready to moisten once more. Enjoy.
God bless Instagram I guess, and fame-mad Kris Jenner, and Khloe Kardashian for sharing images of her little sister making her daring debut on the New York Fashion Week runway for Marc Jacobs. Something sure seems different about Kendall Jenner, and I’m not talking about just the weird wig and mannequin makeup they caked all over her. Ah, yes, those nipples.
We did see Kendall in a sheer top shortly after her barely legal birthday last November, but this would probably mark the first time she’s pretty much flashed them in public. Now, it’s not uncommon for high fashion models to wear very sheer or barely there at all tops in these highfalutin fashion extravaganzas. But this is Kendall Jenner. America’s darling little girl. Well, maybe not all that, but certainly somebody who many people still see as a girl. I’m going to say woman at this point. A woman with perfectly perky nipples. Enjoy.
I happen to like Candice Swanepoel. You may not think she’s super fine, but I sure do. I see past the perfect body, the long blonde hair, the killer looks to the women on the inside. Well, at least inside her top where her perfect perky pair lay almost exposed and her heavenly nipple appearing in this new pictorial for Vogue magazine.
I can’t help but feel that Candice Swanepoel and I have had a love affair for the past several years. She may not know it, or feel it, or be aware of it outside of the legal protection she seeks from me entering the same nation as her at any given time. Still, it feels very real to me. I’m happy with my choice. Not all stalkers can say that about the women they futilely chase year after year. Enjoy.
It’s not easy lunching and shopping with friends. Not when you’re Kim Kardashian in an open top trying to keep your natural plus artificial combined milkers intact whilst leaning forward. Kim almost lost one of her funbags to gravity and good fortune exiting her car for a meal and purchasing time with her girlfriends, an almost nip slip that I really feel we deserved.
We don’t get to hang out with the girls and eat salads and buy $400 scarves. The least we could get is a glimpse of the new baby mama’s boobtastic. Well, I guess I’m feeling just a little gypped. So close, but no full view of the cigars. Enjoy.