Nipple Pokes

Ashley Judd Braless Nipple Pokes in the Big Apple

I’m no fashion expert, okay, maybe a maven, but I must say there is something about the dress Ashley Judd was strutting around Manhattan in last night that has me racing to right positive comments on the style boards. The 40-something actress is still working her magic in a braless tight dress that left her headlights on strong enough to light up Broadway for six blocks. That might be an exaggeration, I’d surely love to measure

Veteran hotties running around without bras on is truly a wondrous development. Ashley knows she looks amazing which is why her nipples are yearning for a little photo attention. Hey, they work hard too. Give them a little something something. I certainly have one idea in mind as far as rewards, though I doubt Ashley would want me to risk ruining her perfect dress. Enjoy.

Jennifer Aniston Nipples Star in See-Through Dress at Toronto Film Festival

Jennifer Aniston probably wins the award for being the most ta-ta proud veteran actress who has never actually bared her funbags on camera before. A dubious distinction indeed.

Jennifer dazzled with her nipples and well-heeled chest puppies quite visible with the combination of a sheer black top and paparazzi cameras at the premiere of the film Cake at the Toronto International Film Festival. Cake indeed. And icing thanks to some of the pokiest nipples this side of the border. Jennifer really does always look rather amazing and though her personality rubs many people the wrong way, perhaps unjustifiably so, we really have come to the now or never moment for Jennifer to fully flash those sweet peaches of hers before they become over ripe. Horrible metaphor, but you catch my drift, oglers. Enjoy.

Elsa Pataky Nipples Excited to See Egotastic! Back Up and Running

Who knows how long the server gods will favor us with uptime, but Thor’s wife, Elsa Pataky, got a little firm in the nips when she heard technology fails could not forever triumph over funbag exhibitions and we were back up and running.

In return for Elsa’s headlight excitement and the return to 1997 standards of website uptime, I have vowed to triple my efforts to bring the best in celebrity sextastic coverage, provided it won’t send me to prison with labels that will get me split open from an uncomfortable end and that it not take, you know, any more work. The NFL season officially begins tonight. I can only dedicate so much resources in the Fall to non-NFL watching time. I’m only human. Enjoy.

Paula Patton See-Through Dress Reveals Her Newly Single Double Delights

It seems that annoying Robin Thicke has finally moved on from his quest to get his wife back, leaving Paula Patton free and single and see-through as she was up top in her dress at the Emmy Awards after party. Well, one of the parties. But two of her sweet boobtastic quite visible beneath her sheer top. Judging by the allure of her funbags, Paula will not be single for long.

It’s always sad when any relationship ends. Except for my own, naturally. Those have been mostly joyous occasions. But, hey, Robin had a long run with Paula Patton. She’s still very much in her sextastic prime and some lucky bastard is going to go next. This is the Circle of Life of Women I Shall Never Know. Now I am tearing up. Enjoy.

Rumer Willis Poking Braless In The Big Apple

Rumer Willis hasn’t always been the recipient of universal lusting praise, but I must say, she’s looking really rather alluring these days. It’s not just her love of bare chests, no bras, showy tops and the likes, she just seems to have a new ray of sunshine deep in her sunshiney areas.

Rumer was out and about in Manhattan, buying some lingerie for somebody special, maybe me, but  probably not. She seemed excited in either case as her headlights pointed directly down Broadway like directional signals. I’m not exactly sure how Rumer Willis spends her days, but so long as she doesn’t spend them putting on undergarments, consider me a big supporter of her routine. C’mon, Rumer, flash them guns. Daddy needs a new smile. Enjoy.

Rihanna Braless And Leggy in NYC

Rihanna was showing off her assetts in a pair of short shorts and a tank top in New York City. The jean cut-offs are so tiny that the pockets are sticking out of the bottom. That’s how you know a pair of short shorts is serious. And then there is an additional slit up the side offering maximum exposure. Then her lovely chest puppies are on display in a cropped tank top. There is a peek of Rihanna’s patented amazing bare mid-riff. She’s got an amazing abdomen, probably from that dancing a whatnot. In general you have to love Rihanna’s penchant for not wearing a bra. I guess if your yum yums just stay up on their own there is no reason to resort to wearing an underwire. That and in general I think Rihanna just doesn’t like wearing clothes, which I’m totally OK with.

How come when I walk around New York I never see hot celebrities wearing no bras? The last celebrity I saw on the street was 90 year old star of Yiddish theater and movies Vyvush Finkle. Not sexy. Well, unless you are into really old Yiddish comedians.

Minka Kelly Braless Nipple Pokes Her Most Exciting Work in Years

Let’s be honest. I’d shank any of you in the showers for sixty seconds of conjugal time with Minka Kelly. She’s hot. She’s always been hot. She will always be hot. But, she’s super boring from the gentleman ogler’s perspective. Always covered in public running to and fro her various appointments. Rarely out decked out. Rarely showing much skin. Rarely giving us the treats we so desperately desire from this sextastic siren. She seems content with the modest and demure life, we obviously can not be so content.

So, to see Minka out in a fitted dress with apparently no bra and her headlights working their way toward the sunlight was quite a thrill. It might be a standard for many lust-inducing celebrities we cover, but for Minka, this is a major reveal and something of a show stopper. Oh, how we wish for much more from Minka. But for today, I shall seek solace in the Minka nips and those absolutely perfect melons beneath. Enjoy.