Movie Premiere

Jennifer Lawrence And Emma Roberts Look Hot at “X-Men: Days of Future Past” Premiere

Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Roberts were their usual hot selves at the New York City premiere of X-Men: Days Of Future Past. Jennifer, who plays everyone’s favorite nekkid blue chick Mystique, wore a body clinging fuzzy dress. The outfit shows off her lovely shoulders and back and accentuates those legendary curves. Emma Roberts was there to support her lucky fiance Evan Peters who plays Quicksilver in the movie. Emma had on a low cut pink dress that showed off some of that famous cleavage. They should cast Emma in the next X-Men movie. Her mutant power can be turning any man who sees her into a quivering bowl of Jell-O. She and Jennifer could square off in the climactic scene in which they battle to see who is the hottest in a giant kiddie pool full of KY Jelly.

I’m available to write the screenplay for this epic. We can call it X-Men: Days Of Future Stiffies or something like that. We can work on the title.

Sofia Vergara Sultry Cleavetastic Cooking Hot for Chef Premiere

When it comes to red carpet competitions, I pity the poor woman who even attempts to keep up with Sofia Vergara. Between that veteran hot body, those twin fiestas of joy, and the experience to put it all together in one camera-attracting ball of must-shoot hotness, Sofia is really the queen of the red carpet hill. She’s an unstoppable force of the decked out sextastic, again at the premiere of Chef at the Tribeca Film Festival.

I have a feeling Sofia Vergara looks wicked hot and put together just going to take a tinkle in the morning. I might be projecting my dreams a bit, but she just always looks like a million bucks. Oh, to be the guy who gets to cinch up her blessedly bodacious top. Who I wouldn’t knock into the river to get that gig. Enjoy.

Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, and Nicki Minaj Cleavetastic for The Other Woman Premiere

I can’t help but feel like The Other Woman has been coming out in theaters for about ten years now. Maybe just because we’ve been tracking this film and it’s boobtastic cast for so long now during production. But it’s finally here. Which means red carpet. Which means big cleavage shows for a chick flick about affairs and fooling around and revenge and other things women love that I don’t quite understand. But I do totally get Cameron Diaz in a low cut dress, who along with Kate Upton being her bosomy self and a surprise chesty appearance from the funbags of Nicki Minaj, made for one ripe melon filled red carpet in Los Angeles.

Now, whether or not your woman makes you go to see this movie, that’s between you and your conscious. Yes, I know, Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz and bikinis and yadda yadda. We’ve seen all the photos. Do as you must, my wayward son. Just, please, don’t explain yourself after the fact. It’s in the details where we lose our souls. Enjoy.

Maitland Ward in a Sheer Black Dress at ‘A Haunted House 2′ Premiere

Actress Maitland Ward wore an outfit that was anything but scary to the A Haunted House 2 premiere in LA. The dress was completely see through except for a thin strip of black fabric that covered her nips and lady bits just barely. You could still see full cleavage and the lower part of her amazing breasts. She also took the liberty of not wearing underwear. You know this because you can clearly see the cut of her panty area through the sheer dress. Did I mention it was also really short? I’ve seen examining gowns at gynecologist offices that were longer than this dress. You can see all of her silky legs going right to her no-no spot. Basically, she is as close to being naked as she can be without getting arrested.

I wasn’t planning on seeing this movie but if supporting the Wayans brothers means more displays like this than it is definitely worth the price of admission.

Shailene Woodley Red Hot and Drop Dead Grown Up for Divergent Premiere in Madrid

We’ve lusted Shailene Woodley since The Descendants big unveiling, but she just keeps getting better and better. Despite being a homemade granola making naturist who prefers to shear her hair and live off oak bark trimmings in the wild, I think I could put up with most of that Mother Earth indulgences if just once a month Shailene came out decked out in a little red number like she did for the Divergent premiere in Madrid.

I hope that Shailene isn’t in the mode of Robin Wright and other serious thespianics who become ashamed of their fine looks and do everything they can not to be the Hollywood beauty. That always seems like such a needless loss. Shailene has so much to offer sextastic wise. I hope she travels down that path a while. There’s always time to live in the trees with Daryl Hannah when you get a bit older. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Wicked White Hot at Noah Premiere in London

Well, I think I just figured out who’s going in my boat when it comes time to pick a woman to repopulate the planet with post-flood. Emma Watson. Just so hot.

Emma looked ridiculously amazing as a woman can while fully dressed on the red carpet of the Noah premiere last night in London. Her white slit dress showing off her legs and figure and making Hermione look all decked out and grown up and ready to climb aboard my ark for our important be fruitful and multiple mission. Even the animals will be made nervous by of our primal procreative screams. I care not. Nor am I ever going to release the dove to check for dried land. I’ll just keep sailing with Emma. Damn she looks so fine. Enjoy.

Scarlett Johansson Brings Out the Red Motherly Big Ones for Captain America in London

You know, short of the guy who made her pregnant, I think I’m delighting in this Scarlett Johannson knocked up version more than just about anybody. I am more than pleased to see Scarlett has done little of anything, if not enhanced, the cleavage show she’s putting on on various red carpets with her bulging mammarials. It’s creating quite the visual keepsakes.

As with all hot celebrity pregnancies, I always worry that we will lose the visions we lust so dearly. But if Scarlett’s first half of the gestational migration is any indication, by month seven or eight we’re going to start needing bigger cameras. I can’t wait. Pregnant hotties ho! Enjoy.