Movie Premiere Posts:

Jaimie Alexander See-Through Sextastic on the ‘Thor Dark World’ Red Carpet

It's time for Jaimie Alexander to shine. Her big role in the upcoming Thor: The Dark World is going to cast this brunette hottie into the spotlight once and for all. So why not break big by breaking red hot and showy on the red carpet of the film's big L.A. premiere last night. Jaimie wore a see-through dress of sorts that left a little to the imagination, but seemed to show off quite a bit more perhaps than she anticipated.

It was a finely worked symphony of potential wardrobe malfunctions. And while we'd of course just assume see the fine thespianic completely unclad, this little number did provide us the chance for a little peekaboo gamesmanship that makes our visual courtship all the much sweeter.

You will be hearing, and more importantly, seeing, much more of Jaimie around these parts. This is a good thing. Enjoy.

Alexa Vega, Sofia Vergara, and Paris Hilton Lead List of Hotties at Machete Kills Premiere

I'm quite nervous about Machete Kills. It seems like a movie I should absolutely positively effin' love, which always makes me nervous about suffering disappointment. Beneath my obviously unmatchably masculine exterior lies a tender heart of an oft-wounded boy. I'm not sure I could handle this movie sucking.

And how can hopes not be high with the stellar sextastic cast involved, including several Latina hotties who showed up to last night's movie premiere, including notably Alexa Vega and Sofia Vergara. Both play fine body exhibiting roles in this Spanish shlock fest. All the more reason I can not contain my enthusiasm. This better not be a big fall. Enjoy.

Emma Watson Deliver Simply Sextastic Gravity

We haven't seen the faptastic Emma Watson in some time now, so quite the uplifting surprise to see Hermione looking rather stellar in white on the red carpet for the New York premiere of Gravity. Lots of Emma Watson oglers were outraged a couple years ago now when Emma chopped off her long locks and made a play for being too important to be a classic big screen sex symbol, but she's managed somehow to make it all work.

As we've said many times, you can't cage the sextastic, it's not something that can be bottled or contained, it finds its way out, as it did last night with Emma in New York. She can look so damn amazing, even if she doesn't want to. I suppose there's something poetic in that. Enjoy.

Taylor Swift Looks Good, Damn Good, at ‘One Chance’ Premiere

Taylor Swift is not everybody's cup of tea. There are a few obviously personality issues that I can see people taking umbrage against. But unless she happens to be your ex-girlfriend holding a grudge against you and writing nasty lyrics to your detriment, I think you, like I, should let it slide and just try to delight in how tall and hot she can look when all decked out and showing off what just has to be some relatively recently augmented funbags.

Just the fact that Taylor Swift is half a foot taller than almost all of her peers makes her stand out well enough, but getting into showy dresses for venues such as the Toronto Film Festival, well, you can see why Hollywood guys go for her even knowing she's probably going to end up being their much regretted former fling. Enjoy.

Naomi Watts Steals the Red Carpet for ‘Diana’ in London

I'm not sure the world needs yet another Princess Diana movie, but I do know we can always use another opportunity to see Naomi Watts getting all dolled up, decked out, and looking supremely hot. While Naomi has mostly transitioned her life into low key mommyhood, when she goes for it, she still owns the red carpet and the lenses of photographers dazzling with her special wow factor.

And, wow, Naomi is just a spectacular woman, even now well into her 40's, a vastly underrated MILF, partially by her own design, no doubt. But were I able to attend my prom once more, I'd take Naomi Watts, grab her ass on the dance floor, and get a slap in the face, just like the last time I went to the prom. Enjoy.

Kimberley Garner Sideboob Highlights the London Premiere of ‘We’re the Millers’

Well, hello Kimberley Garner sideboob.

The Made in Chelsea reality show starlet made quite a scene on the red carpet for We're the Millers in London. I'm not exactly sure what her connection is to the film, but I am exactly sure she was invited and saw fit to wear what she did. I'm not much into fashion, but if I were a designer, pretty much everything I crafted for evening wear would resemble Kimberley's noteworthy knocker barer.

Then I could finally buy my yacht, as I read articles in the paper about how I've corrupted society. That is the dream. Enjoy.

Emily Osment Cleavetastic for Elysium Premiere

I know there is a strong contingent of Emily Osment fanatics out there. Perhaps ones who thought Miley Cyrus got way too much attention for her looks, while Hannah Montana co-star Emily Osment touched their hearts in a much deeper place. After she turned eighteen, naturally.

Emily showed up super cleavy strong to the premiere of Elysium in Los Angeles. A movie I'd like to see, one I'd love to see if Emily would be my date. She could wear the same outfit, I'm kind of down with that. Or up with that as her proud chest was pushed up toward the sky, so that the sun could get a peek too. It really was a magical red carpet moment. Enjoy.