Miss Universe Pageant

Miss Universe Bikini Pictures Make Miss Universe Worthwhile

Let’s be honest. There’s one and precisely one moment when the Miss Universe pageant becomes in any way relevant. The bikini competition. I think this was actually a staged portion of the competition for the upcoming pageant. You know how complex these things get. Nevertheless, I was reminded of the reason why pageants were invented in the first place. To see hot women from here and there in swimsuits and heels. The rest is just the cake. I’ll take the icing.

The fine contestants from around the world strutted their bikini bodies and perfect bright white teeth down the runway to show off the common desire that binds us all on this gaseous spinning orb. Sextastic women with beautiful knockers. It’s not only the universal language, it’s what I believe will someday unite us all in peace. Or, relatively more peace. Turning our swords into binoculars for closing inspection. You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m really just an optimistic ogler. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF

Say Hello to Olivia Culpo, the Racktastic New Miss Universe!

I would chant something silly like ‘U.S.A, U.S.A.’ for the big win tonight of Miss USA, Olivia Culpo, in the Miss Universe pageant, but (a) I don’t chant, and (b) I’m too busy wiping the drool off my quivering chin from the sight of one very racktastic beauty pageant winner.

Now, except those among us who watch Honey Boo Boo for real, we all know beauty pageants are pretty lame, outdated events that rarely produce truly noteworthy visuals, and since the blessed invention of the Internet, you are not limited to who soap companies or TV executives decide to tell you are the hottest women in the world. That being said, I think we scored mighty big tonight with the knockout Olivia Culpo. Checking her out from various and sundry angles, I’d say we have a real legit sextastic crown holder here. But what says you?

What Do You Think About Olivia Culpo, the New Miss Universe?

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