Miss America Pageant Posts:

McKayla Maroney Cleavage Show for the Real Miss American Winner

America's real wholesome beauty sweetheart may not have been the crowned Miss America over the weekend so much as it was Olympic medal winning sweetheart McKayla Maroney, who served as a judge for the pageant competition. And while we respect and honor and hold dear and innocent McKayla's not quite barely legal years, we could not help but notice how grown up (that's a good euphemism, I believe) the famously wrinkle lipped gymnast looked her own damn self, stealing the attention of the cameras from all the pageant girls in training for this event since the age of four or so.

I'm not sure what kind of ambassador Mallory Hagan will be in the next year, but I do know that McKayla Maroney has many years of epic goodness to come on Egotastic! It's only just begun. Enjoy.

Mallory Hagan, Here She Comes, Miss America

Honestly, I didn't even know the Miss America pageant was still going on, I kind of think it got put on hiatus, but it's back, and with a blonde vengeance, as Miss New York, though an Alabama native, Mallory Hagan dropped an All-American level of heat for the historical pageant, bikinis, gowns, talent, crying, running mascara, the whole nine yards of the beauty pageant world. Even the vaseline on her teeth got kind of choked up as the crown was placed upon her head.

Now, you know we're not big fans of the pageant world here. It starts with Honey Boo Boo and ends with a girl named Doreen at 38 in an airport bar mumbling about how she used to be Ms. Norman, Oklahoma, but, in this specific instance, checking out the full, stacked, new representative of wholesome beauty, well, Mallory, we'd crown you as well. Enjoy.