America has picked its #1 hottie in the Miss America pageant and it is Kira Kazantsev. She was representing the great state of New York. Kira beat out some stiff competition among the other girls from the fifty states and its protectorates. What probably clinched it was Kira’s pink swimsuit competition bikini. It was pink and tiny and showed off her truly spectacular boobies. If a pair of ta-tas is to act as ambassador to the world for America I’m proud that those are them. She is in truly spectacular shape, as you would expect from your Miss America. Her stomach is rock hard and even though she’s skinny, she looks healthy and not like a walking skeleton like some pageant contestants.
Some people rag on the Miss America show but I don’t see what the big deal is. They are simply celebrating the hottness of our great nation. If we can’t be proud of our sexy ladies, isn’t that letting the terrorists win?
America’s real wholesome beauty sweetheart may not have been the crowned Miss America over the weekend so much as it was Olympic medal winning sweetheart McKayla Maroney, who served as a judge for the pageant competition. And while we respect and honor and hold dear and innocent McKayla’s not quite barely legal years, we could not help but notice how grown up (that’s a good euphemism, I believe) the famously wrinkle lipped gymnast looked her own damn self, stealing the attention of the cameras from all the pageant girls in training for this event since the age of four or so.
I’m not sure what kind of ambassador Mallory Hagan will be in the next year, but I do know that McKayla Maroney has many years of epic goodness to come on Egotastic! It’s only just begun. Enjoy.
Honestly, I didn’t even know the Miss America pageant was still going on, I kind of think it got put on hiatus, but it’s back, and with a blonde vengeance, as Miss New York, though an Alabama native, Mallory Hagan dropped an All-American level of heat for the historical pageant, bikinis, gowns, talent, crying, running mascara, the whole nine yards of the beauty pageant world. Even the vaseline on her teeth got kind of choked up as the crown was placed upon her head.
Now, you know we’re not big fans of the pageant world here. It starts with Honey Boo Boo and ends with a girl named Doreen at 38 in an airport bar mumbling about how she used to be Ms. Norman, Oklahoma, but, in this specific instance, checking out the full, stacked, new representative of wholesome beauty, well, Mallory, we’d crown you as well. Enjoy.