Michelle Hunziker

Happy Birthday to Michelle Hunziker, My Future Adopted Mom!

As you know, I’m two steps into the seventeen step process to have hottie Swiss Miss Michelle Hunziker named my new adopted mother (step one was filling out the form, step two mailing it, just fifteen more steps to go.).

And, today, on her 36th birthday, I’d like to give a shoutout to my future mom, So check out the hottest mom on the block with a look back at some of our favorite Michelle Hunziker pictures since our adoption process first began. (And, yeah, if you want to see my future adopted mom topless on her birthday, you can do that too.) Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Black Leather Dress Shows Off the Shape of My Future Mom

As you are well away, the adoption process remains ‘active and ongoing’ on my petition for Swiss Miss veteran hottie Michelle Hunziker to become my adoptive mom. It’s not that I don’t love my bio mom and respect how ever many vagrants she had to sedate and steal their organs to help put food on the table for our large brood, it’s just that I always dreamed of a parental figure who looked like Michelle Hunziker did in her black leather dress last night during Milan Fashion Week.

When I imagine Michelle and I cuddled up together reading inspiration picture books before bed time, me in my Spiderman footsie pajamas, my new adopted mom in black lace negligee, it just all seems so warm and innocent and maternal.

Just sign the papers, Michelle. And let’s make this our first family holiday season together. Enjoy.

What’s My Future Mom Doing on the Hotel Balcony?

Just kind of looking hot once more.

My soon to be adoption mom Michelle Hunziker can’t help but look all kinds of way too awesome to be a mom, but a MILF she is indeed, take that from her future son.

Caught candidly in a low cut, skimpy bikini on her hotel balcony, Michelle sets the bar for PTA mothers everywhere.

Soon we shall be involved privately in a highly controversial, but I assure you, very healthy, Adult Nursing Relationship. But, for now, I’m happy to share her with the world. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Just in Time for Adopted Mother’s Day

With the pending resolution of my adult adoption proceedings with Swiss Miss hottie Michelle Hunziker, another round of stellar bikini pictures from Miami arrive just in time for me to celebrate the special day honoring my soon to be adoptive mom.

Now, I’m not looking to incur any jealousy here, but my new mom does look pretty damn smoking hot in a bikini, who would even guess that she already has a teenaged daughter, my soon to be step-sister with whom I imagine I’ll be sharing bunk beds shortly. I really am going to need to pack all my favorite toys. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunzier Bikini Pictures Madness Part Deux from Miami

It’s like rain from heaven. Or is that manna. Or maybe it’s mammaries from above. But it’s something awesome as we now celebrate the hotness that is my future adopted mother, Michelle Hunziker, in her second Miami Beach vacation bikini of the day, and it’s a mofo doozy.

I’m going to have re-watch every taped episode of Wetten…daas? now thanks to a whole new level of infatuation with Michelle, whose MILFtastic presence is fast approaching the pantheon filled with names like Alba and Beckinsale and Kerr. I don’t make such claims lightly, I know the consequences of treading lightly with the hot mama gods, but oh, my, take a look at Michelle for yourself and see if you don’t agree it’s time to start carving her body into marble for eternal display. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Bikini Pictures Depict a MILF and Her Pride

Oh, mama. And I mean that quite literally, as you know I’ve applied through several international courts, both real and some just imagined, for Swiss Miss hottie Michelle Hunziker to be my adopted mom. I’m not sure exactly where I am with the paperwork, because I mostly just get a bunch of giggles from the bureaucrats when I call int to check on the progress of my plea, but I’m quite serious about this gorgeous blonde multilingual TV hostess MILF being my new mommy. Oh, the fun bedtime story times we would have.

Not to mention the bikini vacation times in Miami. Where Michelle was yesterday in her hot maternal bikini, showing off both her own wicked body and her blossoming teen daughter (who will someday be my adoptive step-sister, so, please, no comments about her underaged self) and just making all leering eyes at the pool turn and collectively bulge from their sockets. Or maybe those weren’t just eyes bulging. Hey, now, that’s my future mom your eyeing up and down! Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker Gets All Swiss Miss Naughty in Vanity Fair

Oh, how we do lust blonde Swiss MILF Michelle Hunziker, beloved in Germany and the Boot, and be-lusted by ogling gentlemen everywhere. The lithesome sextastic TV hostess takes to the pages of Vanity Fair Italy this month to give you a little demonstration of what it might be like to have her living in your sweet-arse mansion, all decked out and ready to go.

Just a little sweet treat for feed the high-end living libido. Enjoy.