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(First and foremost: Reese, we hope you're on the mend after a jogging run-in with an old lady and her big Buick. Somebody needs to pry the wheels of these large steel beasts out of these seniors' hands at some age, just know that it won't be me. Way too scared. Oh, also, hypocritical note to my future offspring: you'll have to pry the keys to my sweet-ass Corolla out of my cold dead hands. I ain't ever giving them up.)

Reese Witherspoon might as well shout out to the heavens, I'm here, I'm back, I'm hot again, after the petite blonde took some time off from hottie life to find herself after divorce and whatnot, ease up on the everyday anger jogging (which almost got her killed yesterday),  founds herself a new man (okay, well, her agent, but he's a dude), threw on some little bits of clothing, and posed all hot and sexy for the October edition of Marie Claire magazine, which I just gave a beatdown to my delinquent neighbor Pammy for trying to 'borrow without permission' from my mailbox. Look, Pammy, you're in fifth grade now, and I will hold your ass accountable for your actions. But I digress. Reese looks downright upright inducing in this little black and white pictorial, that is now subtly hanging from the wall of my guest bathroom.

Oh, Reese, get better soon, take off more clothes, take more pictures. We'll all be blessed. Enjoy.