Boxing may be known as the sweet science or the gentleman’s sport, but today it ought be known as the sport Jordan Carver and her renowned mams of plenty turned into the dominant sport in the world once again with her sweat and allure and pugilistic curves. The German model and long time friend of Egotastic is taking to the ring for a celebrity boxing match in her home country. But not before some serious warm ups, and serious sports bras, to contain her mighty chestal punching power.
I can tell you Jordan Carver is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I can also tell you that if you meet her, it will take you a while to stop staring catatonically and quite rudely into her her nurturing goodness. But once you’re able to unlock your gaze, you’ll find only sweetness. Sweetness and hotness that in this case is looking to punch somebody’s lights out. Wow, that’s only super hot. Hit me next, Jordan. I want to see the singing birds. I already am the kind of stupid knocked out grins. Enjoy.
Big thanks to our friend Garry from SunofHollywood.com for these outstanding pics of Jordan.
Not to give away too much in advance, but our bouncy flouncy hottie German friend Jordan Carver’s Date Night Disaster reminds me once more of the difference between men and women.
A couple or three years back, me and some guys were out for a night on the town and got invited back to some ladies’ place for an after-party and one thing led to another and my buddy Turk the Greek hooked up with one of the girls and we didn’t see them until the next morning when Turk had the grin of grins on his successful face and this girl came out of the same bedroom crying. The girl tells Turk she needs to confess a horrible secret, that she’s really married and pretended to be single the night before and fooled him and she felt horrible about deceiving him. To which Turk replied ‘No worries’ and Turk went straight out for a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s. Dudes just don’t care.
But, women, as you will see in our latest installment of Date Night Disasters, are far less forgiving of dude’s who lie about their backgrounds. Enjoy.
(This post is sponsored by Do No Harm on NBC. Premieres Thursday 10/9c)
It’s hard to express in words how much fun we had being around Jordan Carver mostly nekkid for an entire day last month shooting her as ‘Tina Armstrong’ for our DOA5 photoshoot. It was like hanging around a buddy for the day, if your buddy had a killer smile and some wicked awesome boobs he liked to show off.
In addition to the photoshoot, Jordan and her bodacious body and Germanic good looks also hosted her first ever English language TV show in the form of our Hottest of the Hot program, and taped some DOA5 green screen promos for us. All of which is not nearly as important as the healthy Bavarian visuals, natch.
Check out behind the scenes of our day with Jordan Carver and feel the excitement. Enjoy.
It’s really not possible to tell you how much fun we had meeting, greeting, and shooting Jordan Carver in our tribute to the upcoming video game release of DOA5. It was like everything I always imagined it would be like to spend the day with a half-nekkid German hottie bending and preening and cosplaying for the cameras. Of course, Jordan did drop kick me in my bobos, but I deserved it.
Plus, all the violence got Jordan in character to portray wrestler-martial artist ‘Tina Armstrong’, the blonde cowgirl from Dead or Alive 5 set to release on Tuesday, September 25. We have a natural affinity for the DOA video game series given their natural affinity for all things sexy, female, and mammarial related.
Check out the Egotastic! exclusive interpretation of Tina Armstrong by way of Jordan Carver and her wicked hot body and beautiful naughtiness. We hope you enjoy.
** Special thanks to both photographer Mateo Ward and to the quite happening and freshly opened A/V Nightclub in Hollywood for hosting our shoot.
Make no mistake, Egotastic! is an equal opportunity employer. To host our weekly wrap-up show, Hottest of the Hot, you don’t even need to speak English as a first language. Granted, it does help if you have other job skills to contribute. And Jordan Carver has some skills, oh, trust me, she has some big skills.
Egotastic! got a chance to shoot Jordan Carver exclusively for a photo pictorial you will see, oh, in about a week (and, my god, it crossed a line off my personal bucket list, two actually if you count the fact that I had always want to experience life as a dairy farmer), and we wasted no time in asking Jordan to host our fun time Hottest of the Hot, so we could spend even more time ogling her fine form and to hear her say the word ‘motherf***er was just priceless.
So, check out Hottest of the Hot, or just check out Jordan, counting down the Top 5 most clicked pics of the past week on Egotastic! Enjoy.
Well, it’s not exactly the movie we were hoping to see Jordan Carver and her double-H bombs cast in, you know, the kind with the very randy pizza delivery guy, but any chance to peruse those passionate chest puppies she brings with her everywhere makes for some solid on-set photos.
On production on Who Killed Johnny (yet another film we find zero information on), the bodacious buxom German model and now actress shows that tassels will never truly go out of style, not when they’re employed to highlight the luscious hanging fruit of girls like Jordan. Consider us excited by this unexpected uncovery. Enjoy.
Who you gonna call? Brabusters!
Hey, when you’re a company selling bras for ladies with mongo funbags, you’ve got to find the model who can fill the role, as it were. And nobody pimps the boobtastic gigantastic quite like German model Jordan Carver, who’s two chestal buoys are not only fully-functional life preservers, they’re life enhancers. At least, they’re enhancing my life just from the site of them.
Now, we here at Egotastic! are equal opportunity chest puppy oglers. We do not play favorites. But let’s just say if we’re falling off of a ten story building, we’re praying for the curves of Jordan Carver to be coincidentally walking below. Enjoy.