Grand Theft Auto V

Damn, Giving All of ‘Grand Theft Auto V’s Pedestrians Guns Was a Bad Idea

GTA V Pedestrians

Grand Theft Auto V’s Los Santos is an incredible technical achievement. A sandbox city on a scale unlike any we’ve seen before. You can spend hours just dicking around watching the pedestrians, all of whom have their own places to be and things to do.

Natch, there’s never a dull moment in the world of Grand Theft Auto. Gang raids, drug busts, multi-million dollar heists, more explosions and bullets flying about than your average Schwarzenegger movie… it’s dramatic stuff.

It is for the big players, anyway. The kingpins, drug barons and main characters of the games. But what of the rest of these poor bastards, the pedestrians? The regular shmoes? Will they ever get to have any gun-totin’ goodtimes?

They will with this latest mod. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if every NPC happened to be armed, you now have your answer: absolute batshit crazy would happen. Feast your eyes on the Pedestrians Riot mod below, the successor to San Andreas’ ‘Crazy Peds’ cheat. It’s freaking carnage.

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ PC is Already Being Hit By the Mod-tastic Stick

Grand Theft Auto V PC Mod

Of course it is. Why do you think everyone was chomping at the bit and bitching about the PC version’s endless delays? Because they wanted to play as a skydiving cat, that’s why.

As PC gamers will know, modders can do some weird, wonderful and shit-your-pants crazy things. Why not add a selfie stick and Instagram filters to Doom? Who wouldn’t want all of their Sims to speak in Klingon? Whose life could possibly ever have been complete without Skyrim’s My Little Pony Dragon mod? All of these are actual things that exist.

So you’d better freaking believe that Grand Theft Auto V will be wanting to get in on the action too. The series has a funny history of its own with mods, after all; cruising through Liberty City as the Hulk isn’t something you forget in a hurry. So what do we have to look forward to?

The game was only released on April 14, but that’s more than enough time for the crazy-ass to start flowing in. Modder Alexander Blade has created what Destructoid describes as ‘god mode and then some’: Super jumps, invincibility, exploding bullets and, as promised, the chance to play as a cat. Go check it out at the link.

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Hots Up With Flaming Bullets and Other Cheats

Grand Theft Auto V PC Cheats

Grand Theft Auto V is, at the best of times, a bit of a shitstorm. The plot takes more nutty-ass turns than The Da Vinci Code, particularly where Trevor is involved. Car chases, helicopter chases, drug busts, multi-million dollar heists, tearing down the house of that tennis guy who was sleeping with your wife… it’s all going on here.

In the spangly new first person mode in particular, it’s crazy stuff. But if you want to dial it up a little further, the PC release offers a range of cheat codes to enhance the experience.

I didn’t even know ‘cheat code’ was still a phrase. That just brings up repressed memories of those premium phone lines you used to have to call, while the miserable bastard on the other end gave you half-assed tips on beating that boss or whatever. How the hell did we ever live without the Internet?

But anywho, here they are. Among other things, you can enable moon gravity, drunk mode, explosive melee attacks and flaming bullets, as well as changing the weather on a whim and instantly spawn all manner of fancy vehicles. Check out everything you can do at the IGN wiki guide.

These ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Steam Reviews Are Far Too Good

Grand Theft Auto V Steam Reviews

As grandma always said, you can’t trust random assholes on the Internet. She had street smarts, did grandma, and she knew what was up. The web is full of big studly guys pretending to be hot Swedish twins (both of them at once). Spammers sending grammatically and medically questionable promises to enlarge your wang by ten inches. Nigerian princes needing your bank details. Trust no-one.

And especially don’t trust user reviews. Over on Amazon, for instance, I’m often befuddled by several five star and several one star reviews for the same product, offering completely conflicting information. Or just bitching that the delivery was late, and so rating said item way the hell down just for that. It’s all freaking useless, is what I’m driving at.

But hell, sometimes these guys are just having a little fun. Steam reviews are no different, and some for the freshly-released Grand Theft Auto V PC are solid gold. This being the PC edition, there are of course terms like ‘master race’ and ‘console peasants’ being bandied about, but sometimes the community is just amazing.

Kotaku brought us a selection of the best as part of their As Told By Steam Reviews feature. It’s safe to say there are some pissed off spouses in homes across America right about now (“14th year wedding anniversary and I played this all day! It’s that good. Worth being in the doghouse for,” wrote Steam-er Geebeegooner).

Hit the link to check them out.

‘Grand Theft Auto V’ PC Edition Busts Out the Sweet, Sweet 60fps

Grand Theft Auto V PC

The console wars continue to rage on. Skirmish after skirmish ensues on the comment section of Youtube, with Xbox One-ers and PS4-ers talking grammatically questionable smack about each others’ games and/or mothers’ weight problems.

PC gamers, meanwhile, give no shits about such things, simply declaring themselves the ‘master race’ and having done with it. After all, there’s no denying that their gaming platform is the beefiest.

The much ballyhooed, where-in-the-name-of-holy-balls-is-it Grand Theft Auto V: PC Edition is going to be something special, then. The game first hit Xbox 360 and PS3, before making the transition to current gen consoles last November. Spangly new as that edition looked, it’s nothing on this.

Behold the PC release running smoother than a very, very smooth thing over at Destructoid.

‘GTA V’ PC Edition Delayed Until March; But Hey, Remember Those Heists?

GTA V PC

How long have our PC brethren waited to get their Grand Theft Auto V on? A year and a freaking half, that’s how long. Give or take a couple months of bitching at the Internet. Well, hold on to your butts, because we’re in for a couple more.

Yesterday, Rockstar confirmed March 24 as the new release date. They also gave us the usual BS,
‘Our apologies for the slight shift in the date but the game requires a few extra weeks of testing and polish to make it as good as can be. Moving a release date is never a decision we take lightly and is a choice we make only when we know it is in the best interests of the game and our fans. Thanks everyone for your understanding and we assure you these few extra weeks will be worth it when the game does arrive in March.’

What’s being done with these extra weeks? Our mothereffin’ heists are being added, that’s what. Y’know, the ones we were promised around Christmas 2013. For the PC edition, they’ll be a feature from the start.

As for the rest of us? They’re on the way sometime in the coming weeks. We long thought them a mere rumour, like the Loch Ness Monster or the Yeti or celebrities who can get out of taxis without flashing their cooches to the waiting paparazzo. Much like the PC edition itself. But nil desperandum, Ego-friends. Both are in the offing. For real this time, apparently.

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: ‘Grand Theft Auto Online’ Brings us Snowball Fights TO THE DEATH

Whacked- GTA Online Snow

On Christmas 1914, British and German soldiers decided to stop the whole ‘killing each other in the freaking face’ thing they had going on. Briefly. They emerged from the trenches and met in No Man’s Land, to talk, smoke and (presumably) share crackers with shit jokes in. There were even friendly soccer matches between the soldiers.

Soon afterwards, they were back at it again. But with poison gas and other new and improved bastardly ways to kill each other. Nevertheless, for a brief moment, the spirit of the Christmastastic even permeated World War One. A lil’ bit.

A century later, an equally unlikely, equally brief peace erupted in Grand Theft Auto Online. Because sometimes, even the most hardened drug dealers and pimps want to put down their guns and have a good ol’ fashioned snowball fight.

As with last Christmas, heavy snowfall blanketed Los Santos this week. Snowball fights are now possible, and it all looks innocent enough at first glance. In reality, though, they’re as vicious as any bust-up betwixt rival drug gangs. Snowballs deal damage to players, and can also cause probably the most embarrassing death Grand Theft Auto has ever seen. Hit Kotaku for that one.