Egotastic
I've never read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. I will never read 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' I don't care about 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' But you can bet your ass I'll find the erotic scenes of the BDSM with whatever ingenue actress they cast in the movie online and watch them over and over again. Yesterday, a rumor started to swirl that Don't Trust the B- actress Krysten Ritter was up for the role of Ana Steele in the film adaptation, who I guess is supposed to be like Bella Swan, but more interesting and more DTF by the end of the book.
Now, while her choking on vomit scene in Breaking Bad could mean she'd be good at choking on other things as well, it seems the rumor began just because a fan said they thought Ritter would be great for the role and the actress confirmed that she'd love to do it. And that was it. Whoever's cast, we can assume that since 'Fifty Shades of Grey' was originally written as Twilight fan fiction, the film version will undoubtedly probably suck as much as those vampire movies ((save for some nudity that hopefully won't get dumbed down to PG-13)
So here are ten movies with some hanky spanky we think will still be better than Fifty Shades of Grey whenever it eventually gets made.
Will the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Movie Join the Ten Highest Grossing NC-17 Films of All Time
Kelly Marcel, the 38-year-old British screenwriter who is in charge of adapting Fifty Shades of Grey into a script, claims that the movie (or at least her version on the page) will be rated NC-17, with all the S&M all the lonely women who read the book once they finished writing their Twilight erotic fan fiction are hoping for. Now, that's what she's saying, but wish in one hand, take a dump in the other and see what fills up first. Because even a movie like Boogie Nights, about the hardcore porn industry, started out as NC-17 and was quickly turned into an R-rated movie by the studio. NC-17 is generally the mark of the death for a movie's box office performance and popular book franchise or not, it seems like a huge risk and gamble to aim for that as the film's rating.
Not that parents will typically be bringing their children into a movie about BDSM. But if anyone under 17 can't buy a ticket, even with adult supervision, it means a large fanbase of creepy college-aged guys can't take their high school girlfriends in to convince them to do some kinky stuff afterwards. And that's a huge market. Even the highest grossing NC-17 film of all time only made $20 million at its release. And that even had the nerdy chick from Saved by the Bell stripping down to nothing and making out with Gina Gershon, so if that didn't put asses in the seat, I don't know what will. But gratuitous full frontal and sex didn't do much for any of these other Ten Highest Grossing NC-17 Films either.