FHM magazine

Danielle Sharp Like You’ve Never Seen Her Before, Clothes On (Still Wicked Hot)

GIrl, you don’t have to take your clothes off, to have a good time. Though, let’s be honest, it is a really big help. But formerly Britain’s hottest co-ed, Danielle Sharp proves in her FHM spread that sheer black lingerie has its time and place and hardly inhibits the sextastic from shining through.

There’s something to be said for foreplay, and while that thing is mostly, ‘When is this going to end so we can get onto the real party?’, the tease and seduction of a smoking hot brunette in black lingerie, well, that’s something to cherish should you ever be so fortunate to find yourself in such a scene. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Is Single and Inducing Tingles on the Pages of FHM

Ever since Kelly Brook announced she was ditching her boyfriend, my antennae went up (yes, that is an antenna and I’m damn glad to meet you) as to her sextastic availability. While I’m not so sure dating is precisely an option at this time, ogling seems to be going better than ever in relation to this curvaceous brunette bombshell.

Featured on the pages of FHM France this month, Kelly shows why she has all the tools to be the perfect girlfriend. Namely, she looks amazing in and out of clothes. And, what else do you need to know, you particular bastard? Kelly, please call me, I’d like to tell you all about the Swiss chalet I’m renting for the winter holiday. Well, technically, it’s a Red Roof Inn mini-suite but I can stock it with Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa to provide us sustenance during our long rounds of butter-covered slippery making of the sexy. Yes, I’ll tip the maid for the extra cleanup. Enjoy.

Lucy Mecklenburgh Lingerie Pictures Triple Wicked Hot in FHM

If the reality show The Only Way Is Essex has brought us anything, and it really has only brought us one thing, it’s a good sized gaggle of hotties with buxom personalities. Not the least of whom is the supremely hot Lucy Mecklenbergh who is now popular enough to be in celebrity bitch fights with a whole series of bigger named female British celebrities, and talking about it all, and stripping down to her skivvies in the upcoming edition of FHM magazine.

Now, we could do without all the girl fight drama, unless it involves actual girls actually fighting, then naturally we are amused. But mostly we just couldn’t wait to see Lucy in her fun little things showing off her ridiculously hot body. Mission accomplished. Enjoy.

Check Out Lucy in Her FHM Teaser Video »

Kelly Brook Heats Up The Garage in Pimping FHM Pictorial

I’m pretty sure this is an advertisement for Axe and not a straight up pictorial in FHM Turkey, nevertheless, it features the tasty form of the newly single Kelly Brook in some form fitting revealing clothes and that’s good enough for me. She certainly looks better than Henry, my auto mechanic who has done over three thousand dollars worth of repairs on a car that’s worth half of that and some sentimental value. I’d not like to see Henry in Daisy Dukes, but Kelly Brook, now that is an entirely different matter.

Kelly and I are meant to be together, though I’m sure she’s not reconciled herself yet to that fact. She’ll have to go through a few more handsome a-holes before coming to her senses and being my lady on the side. You can take a guess as to which side. Oh, Kelly, you do make a clean man dirty, even if he tries to cover that dirt with stanky Axe spray. Enjoy.

Helen Flanagan Bikini Pictures Put Blonde British Lust at the Forefront

Helen Flanagan has not only grown on me of late, she’s come to overtake many a night time dream of busty girls with British accents who also like to smoke cigars. I’m not sure why that last part keeps popping up, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

In the new edition of FHM, Helen Flanagan shows why she may have one of the most desirable celebrity bikini bodies around and abound. Her bikini body becomes especially lustworthy when there’s no bikini involved at all. There’s something special about this girl. I wish I could investigate her further, deeper, and more profoundly to get to the bottom of it .For now, just long, slack jawed stares. Enjoy.

(For more on Helen Flanagan and other cover girls head to FHM.com.)

Mellisa Clarke Wicked Hot Even With a Few Bits of Clothing On

Mellisa Clarke Heats Up FHM South Africa August 2013
Click to See Uncensored

Mellisa Clarke makes my heart go pitter patter. Then stop for a few beats. Then start back up again and rapidly pump blood to my extremities. Have you experienced the same? Take a look at Mellisa Clarke toying with your ticker in this faptastic spread in the current edition of FHM South Africa.

While we typically see Mellisa without any clothes on, she’s well into the class and stature of the sextastic pantheon where even with little bits of nothing on to tease, she more than rips your libido out of your cranium, fills it up with naughty thoughts, and slams it back into place. It’s the greatest bit of brain surgery. Enjoy.

Vanessa Lawrens Topless Frenchy Hotness in FHM

Vanessa Lawrens Topless in FHM France July 2013
Click to See Uncensored

I’m not sure if she’s still she-banging soccer star Mario Balotelli or not. That guy has pretty much had a roster of supremely hot Euro-model girlfriends so it’s hard to keep track. But as of last summer, French model (and singer! see below) Vanessa Lawrens was balling the Manchester City star and making an even bigger name for herself than you get just by being ridiculously sextastic, as she is.

But we care little for romantic concerns. And much more for topless wonderments, as Vanessa Lawrens puts on display this month in FHM France. Wow. I can see why the man who can everything would want a little something from her. Just quite the stunner. And, don’t forget, super talented singer! (okay, you don’t have to watch the craptastic Europop music video she made). Enjoy.

See Vanessa’s Euro Pop Single Music Video »