Look man, the critics love Fast & Furious 6 and Vin Diesel loves Fast & Furious 6. Do you honestly think there is any chance in hell that you, too, will not also love Fast & Furious 6?
Right. There is no chance. You are going to love it. So what the hell are you waiting for? Just go ahead and pre-order the Fast & Furious 6 Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack right now. It’s only $20.99 over at Amazon. What are you, some kind of communist who doesn’t buy things?
Okay, I’m totally kidding. There’s no rush. Go ahead and see the Fast & Furious 6 at your local cineplex tonight. Then go to Amazon and pre-order the blu-ray. After all, Universal is counting on you.
You see, after Oblivion, Star Trek, and Iron Man 3 had such strong opening weekend Blu-ray/DVD pre-order sales, Universal has decided to do the same thing with Fast & Furious 6 to capitalize on all that enthusiasm you’re going to have after you watch that epic tank chase scene.
Fast and Furious 6 opens today and it has all the makings of the perfect summer blockbuster. It has a chick fight, it has cars exploding through stuff, and — perhaps most importantly — it has a goddamn tank chase.
If you had any misgivings about seeing what might be a somewhat by-the-numbers action-heist-thriller movie thing, remember: there have only been two other tank chases in movie history. The first one involved Indiana Jones and Nazis. Remember that one? From Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? There were horses involved and Sean Connery was there? Yeah. Killer time.
The second one, Jame Bond’s GoldenEye, had 007 driving a Russian tank through St. Petersburg and trashing all sorts of shit in the process. Best part was, with N64’s wonderfully time sucking video game version, you could relive this scene over and over again.
Let’s put it another way for all you number geeks: this weekend’s movie slate will account for 33% of all cinematic tank chases ever. Pretty impressive.
Fast & Furious 6 opens in theaters a couple days from now. We will soon find out if this is, indeed,the fastest and furious-est of them all. More importantly, all trailers, featurettes, tweets, facebook posts and grandma’s bingo-buzz about the movie points to an epic-as-shit ladyfight between real-life MMA fighter Gina Carano and actress-who-played-a-boxer-once Michelle Rodriguez. Now we want to know, who’s going to win?
The Case for Carano. She was trained from birth by monks, deep in the mountains of Shaolin. No, seriously though, she fought other people as her full time job until 2009. She’s an actual real mixed martial artist for whom acting was originally her moonlighting gig.Doesn’t seem to be much else we need to add, does there? We want to see some body-rubbing choke-holds and her sexy sexy ground game.
The Case for Rodriguez. She was in Girlfight? Sexy as she is and as tough as she looks, nothing about her says she’s going to physically, er, womanhandle Gina Carano. But that’s not counting real life grit. Make no mistake, Michelle Rodriguez is goddamn fierce — her 18 day stint in the slammer must have honed her hand-to-hand skills. If shivs are involved, Rodriguez wins hands-down. Again, more ground game, ladies.
I’ll say this for Michelle Rodriguez, she’s one smart cookie. Okay, two things, she also has some nice chest puppies to take to parties and fancy gatherings. Michelle countered her butchy images, especially in the Fast and Furious film series, by hitting the big London premiere of FF6 showing off more lady skin than really anybody else in the place. Smart move. And, hot move.
So now we’re talking about Michelle’s chest, which was her plan all along. Sometimes a lady needs to whip out the guns and kick ass to get what she wants, and sometimes she needs to flash her sultry ta-ta’s. Those who can do both are keepers. Enjoy.
One of the smartest decisions in franchise longevity was made about five years ago when the producers of the first Fast and Furious trilogy decided to take the world solely out of the world of illegal small-town street racing and truck hijacking and up the ante into making them giant, heist spectacles. And that trend seems to continue in its sixth!! installment on May 24th in Fast and Furious 6. Joining the cast this time is British DSS agent, now master criminal Owen Shaw, played by Luke Evans. This Brit is so slimy and nefarious he’s even able to bring Michelle Rodriguez back from the dead to become his second-in-command.
The trailer gives only a few hints at the bat-shit crazy stunts Evans and his people pull off to get what they want (don’t even try to pretend you already haven’t quoted Ludacris going, ‘They’ve got a tank’, just don’t). So while we still have over two months to go to see what heist we’re going to wish we could ride shotgun for, put your feet up and kill some time this weekend by watching one of these Ten Badass Heist Movies.