When ESPN announced that Drake would be hosting the 2014 ESPY awards, I kind of felt that pang in my stomach like, oh, know, I'm off-demo for the ESPYs. Not that I'm not a monster Drake fan, his face above my bed next to Justin and the boys from One Direction. Still, I felt old. Thankfully, the hotties on the red carpet came quickly along and made me feel young in the soul and nether regions again.
The lineup of sextastic celebrities at the ESPY's wavers from year to year, but there's always some significant highlights. Like this year, Jessica Alba, the uber-sextastic MILF who can do no wrong, and Chrissy Teigen, whose new pea-henning of her burgeoning ta-ta's has been a true delight these past few months. The duo weren't they only lovely ladies in attendance, but after they did arrive, I had to hit the cold shower for 97 minutes to get back into caring about sports mode. The ESPY's have flailed a bit, but there's nothing a solid dose of the sextastic can't make you forget about. Enjoy.