E3 Posts:

Watch Dogs First Look Preview and Demo (VIDEO)

By Aaron Boulding | June 5, 2012 @ 10:15 am

They Know Everything

In our first look at the new Ubisoft action title Watch Dogs, we’re given a lengthy prologue that references the 2003 NYC blackout and other real life conspiracy theories about how personal information is handled. It’s suggested that we aren’t people but rather data clusters on a grid. Credit cards, medical records, books we’ve read; one system controls it all. CTOS.

This is a game?

Need For Speed: Most Wanted E3 Trailer (VIDEO)

By Travis Shuman | June 5, 2012 @ 9:19 am

I fought the Law and...they crashed!

While the title may seem confusing since 'Need for Speed: Most Wanted' came out back in 2005, this is an entirely new game and is looking to take the Need for Speed series in a whole new direction.

Criterion has made a lot of statements regarding the newest addition to the series but they all basically boil down to 'this isn't your older brother's Most Wanted'. This completely revamped racing experience promises open world action, non-stop multiplayer, racing without rules, and an unbeatable online experience.

The trailer, which can be seen above gives players a taste of the edge of your seat action that's to come with a variety of oh-so-sexy cars being chased by police throughout the city. Many players have been hoping for a return to the 'cops and robbers' type of Need for Speed from earlier in the series and Most Wanted seems to answer those calls.

The trailer has also revealed what would await those who pre-order the limited edition of the game: the Maserati GranTurismo MC Stradale and the Porsche 911 Carrera S.

Need for Speed: Most Wanted will be drifting it's way onto Xbox 360, PS3 and PC October 30, 2012.

Article By Travis Shuman
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Quantum Conundrum E3 Trailer: In Which Corpulent Cats Cast Couches Through the Air. Why? Don’t Ask (VIDEO)

By Chris Littlechild | June 5, 2012 @ 9:09 am

I beseech you, PUMP THOSE FURRY LEGS!

A vintage oddity for your delectation. Quantum Conundrum is a first-person puzzle/action release from Airtight games. It introduces us to a young boy left for a day with his uncle, Professor Quadrangle. This old bastard has invented the Interdimensional Shift device, which enables the wearer to manipulate the physical environment to their own diabolical ends.

(Much like God himself. You know the Almighty Bearded One performs such unscrupulous antics all day; sending birds flying into power-lines and making loud noises so weasels shit themselves and such, just to savour the schadenfreude. He can’t have the most beleaguered existence, after all. It mostly involves ogling every women’s locker room on this astral body of ours with gleeful abandon. “I AM GOD!” he booms sporadically. “I could crush you to a puny bleeding meat-mound on the dirty, dirty ground on the most fleeting of whims. So SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS. Don’t make me bust out my IT’S YOU hand from those old lottery ads. Trust me when I say, I’m not pernickety about a little orifice-poking with that thing. Remember that cavity search you had at the airport that time? That shall be nothing on this. Nothing.”)

With the device in hand (presumably your carer was otherwise occupied laughing with demented gusto in a empty room and constructing malevolent world dominion machinations) you advance across the environment, solving puzzles and eradicating obstacles that bar your egress. The 'fluffy dimension,' where objects are but a tenth of their original weight, is now implanted in my mind like a haunting refrain. I’m completely unperturbed, as the ghastly pink hue that accompanies it provides a fine reminiscence to my old burlesque days. Alas, I can scarcely squeeze my fat ass into that tutu now.

Visit airtightgames for more on Quantum Conundrum, due for release later in June.

ZombiU E3 Details: Promising-if-Puntacular Survival Horror for Wii U (VIDEO)

By Chris Littlechild | June 5, 2012 @ 8:58 am

"Yes? Do you rotting bastards have an appointment?"

Now, this hardly screams Nintendo and their quintessential family-fun-time ethics. Indeed, giant gorrila-nuts to screaming it, this isn’t even a fleeting susurration of the term into a lover’s ear. It’s more pointing and laughing at them as as they rock back and forth, distraught at the antipathy this trailer just forced into their squelching vision-hives.
And then pissing in their hair or something. You cad you.

All in all, this short clip from CommunityGame was an unforeseen delight indeed. The train of thought that led from ‘Wii U Launch title’ to ‘Desk-guy-with-a-viscera-flecked-bullet-hole-where-his-nose-used-to-be-and-probable-shit-stains-on-the-carpet’ is one of the utmost peculiarity. Even so, I’m going to propel a brainwave of gratitude or two in Ubisoft’s general direction for making it happen.

With a degree of trepidation, naturellement. This is axiomatically not in-game footage. Even so, the PR hyperbole paints an aesthetically-pleasing picture indeed. The report from videogamer reveals a first-person survival horror experience, set in (circa) present-day London. ZombiU presents another zombie apocalypse, with a wanton deluge of innovative mechanics. When your character dies, you will switch persona to that of another survivor, and can hunt down your previously occupied flesh-bag to kill them and recover your inventory.

Launching with (exclusive) mature titles such as this could prove a fantastic boon for the fledgling console. I only hope the pleasing picture doesn’t later fade to reveal nothing more than an unsightly Jackson Pollock painting. (You know the sort, where it appears an entire menagerie of zoo animals have taken turns to vomit/crap/expel other bodily fluids upon the canvas.)

God of War: Ascension E3 Preview and Demo (VIDEO)

By Aaron Boulding | June 5, 2012 @ 8:45 am

Watch Kratos Open 'Em Like Gifts

In the extended demo for God of War: Ascension, we’re not given too much of this game’s story during the Sony press briefing. What we do know is that a goat-faced ultra-Minotaur of some kind and his minions are determined to stop Kratos from walking on their dock. The familiar sound of Kratos’ chain swords is like a warm and familiar blanket as he knocks enemies all around and rips their heads off by their horns like he’s looking for candy inside.

This goat-headed super miniboss really doesn’t stand a chance. Kratos throws him around by his horns at will and then proceed to slice his legs off as a final insult. One thing to note here is that throughout this encounter there’s been a constant “baaa” sound every time you do something unfriendly to one of those goat men. They’re all sheep to the slaughter before Kratos’ skill.

The animal inspired enemies in God of War Ascension are creepily accurate…especially as Kratos is chopping them up into little pieces. The regular miniboss battle we’re shown is an giant elephant-headed baddie who get his wig split in one of the most gruesome scenes we’ve ever seen in a demo. Seriously, his brain is on display for a few seconds there before Kratos attacks it like a gushy beach ball.

And now we have a launch date for God of War Ascension now: March 2013. Plenty of time to learn about those animal-based bad guys.

Assassin’s Creed III Preview and Demo (VIDEO)

By Aaron Boulding | June 4, 2012 @ 11:20 pm

Hunt Deer, Wolves and Redcoats

In the opening shots of the E3 demo for Assassin’s Creed III we’re actually on board with our hero as he runs with a galloping herd of deer. The first person perspective comes undone when, like the cool assassin that he is, Connor takes to the trees and branches above the snow-covered forest floor.

To show off the bow and arrow mechanic, Connor shoots a deer who does the whole stagger and dying animation. It seemed like he was about to chow down on a fresh kill when some hungry wolves come to jack him for his venizen. Of course they get dealt with. However, the more important point here is that the venizen turns out to be an objective that you needed to get in good with the Revolutionary Army camp cook.

E3 2012 Video Roundup: Resident Evil, Black Ops, Tomb Raider, and Much Much More (VIDEO)

By Bill Swift | June 4, 2012 @ 7:37 pm

Far Cry 3 Surfaces

Insanity is really part of the game this time. Read More »

Wii U and Miiverse

The funnier the spelling, the more fun we'll have. Read More »

Forza Horizon Blazes

Real cars doing unreal things on tracks around the country. Watch »

E3 Big Preview Day!

We're deep in the underbelly of E3 2012, digging up every frame of video and relating every factoid we can find on every game that dances in front of our eyes. And we're still only talking about the first day of the show.

There's so much more to come including news on the all new Wii U.

For now though, enjoy the latest video content from today including Resident Evil 6, Call of Duty: Black Ops II, Tomb Raider and so many more. There's still plenty of hotness to come from unexpected titles like Watch Dogs and others. Seriously, just getting you the goods on games we know about puts out lives in jeopardy.When we come across something new, it's like the world stops and we have to reset everything. Watch the videos, read the hands-on and eyes-on previews, check Facebook (go ahead and like us now) and Twitter for secrets and rumors and stay with us all week.

E3 is a campaign not a wienie roast.