Egotastic
This is it people. If you haven't banged your unusually hot cousin or told your boss to suck your manhood right through your pooper, you're already too late, because the End of Times is upon us. And while reports have yet to pour in from parts of the world where 12/21/12 has already begun, rest assured, that's only because their communication towers have been felled by fire and brimstone. Honestly, I can't even get a clear signal in L.A. unless it's perfectly sunny outside so I can only imagine what a little hellfire would do to reception.
If you're still without specific instruction as to how to handle the Apocalypse upon us, check out the last and final installment of Dispatches from the Apocalypse.
Where the Fuck Did My Apocalypse Go????
Well, 12/21/12 came and went without any kind of bang, and speaking personally, I'm kind of pissed that I now need to pay my back rent, stop my end of the world Dennison's Chili-only diet, and explain to my girlfriend why I may have possibly felt up her sister at the family holiday party. Tons of stuff I was figuring I could slough off until after the earth exploded. But, now, no such luck.
Even less lucky is our writer Jack Tomas, so sure of the Mayan Apocalypse, that he has spent the last four months buried in his bunker. Now, it's all gone. Dreams of death and destruction vanished right before his eyes. See how he's handling reality in the final installment of Dispatches from the Apocalypse. Enjoy.