Okay, so as much as I chide you not to allow your ladies force you to watch Dancing with the Stars, I do always remind you of the occasional silver linings. But, trust me, I will bring them to you. Or will with the help of good folks like EgoReader 'Pryse' who caught a brief, but most definitely there nipple slip from pro Sharna Burgess, the dancing partner of Andy Dick.
That's a something. Amid a sea of sparkle and shimmer. Enjoy.
As I'm sure you're aware, though you better not tell, Dancing with the Stars season something or other premieres tonight. And while housewives and dudes watching on the down low might be excited beyond belief, we continue to be amazed by how little network television cares about men anymore. That being said, every craptastic television cloud has a silver lining. In this case, new dancing pro Lindsay Arnold, fresh on the DWTS scene. If these glimpses of her arriving for practice in her Daisy Dukes are any valid preview, yeah, we'd like to watch her dance.
Granted, that does not mean dressed up showy ballroom dancing with dudes in silky costumes. No, sir. But dancing like a half-dressed ballerina on an R-rated music box in our minds, then, yes, most definitely. Enjoy.
Sadly, I must admit to not spending much time following the current season of Dancing With the Stars, but I had even more fun things to do with my time like gouging out my eye with a hot fireplace poker and contracting rabies from squirrel through a nasty bite to my taint. I just can't bring myself to watch dudes in costumes dancing. I'm genetically programmed to feel violently diarrhetic when I come into visual contact with such sights, or, worse, people talking about how wonderful such sights are.
However, my blind rage is not so blinding that I can't give kudos to the show producers for keeping the epically sextastic Maria Menounos on the show week after week, meaning we get to see her practicing and warming up in skin tight dancer gear week to week, it's all making us quite weak in the knees. Just look at that arse. Avast! Enjoy.
Ave Maria. How can one not get lost in the sextastic wonderment that is Maria Menounos preparing to get jiggy with it, or you know, the Dancing With the Stars version of that, which is typically inane, unwatchable, and hot-woman-hating.
Nevertheless, we won't let an insipid TV show ruin the pleasure we can mine from our delicious Maria in stretch pants and little skin baring tops, for while we won't be able to stand an hours worth of foppish pearl-clutching television, we can definitely partake in a few minutes of good old-fashioned hot dancer chick ogling. As is our want. Enjoy.
The Egotastic! Council of Elders met last night in its secret chambers, the backroom of the local Falafel King, where it reviewed evidence and heard arguments as to the question of whether Maria Menounos was simply so hot, that she would reverse a previous faptastic fatwah on the viewing of the television program Dancing with the Stars, which has routinely dismissed and disrespected its scant number of relatively sexy celebrities for the disturbing idolization of the likes of Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace.
Among the exhibits put into evidence were these very last minute candid shots of Maria Menounos heading into her DWTS dance practice, and, well, to be honest, the Council had to recess for some individual private time in the Falafel King's mens room, indicating to any reasonably experienced Council follower that the judgement has pretty much already been decided.
You may watch Dancing With the Stars under the provision that Maria remain in the competition and that you fast-forward through all parts of the show not containing Maria in her little dance costumes. For those watching live, checking sports scores on your mobile device during non-Maria times will also be acceptable. Enjoy.
King Solomon I am not. Though I did once make out with a young lady named Sol in a Moroccan coffee house after my first experimentation with... anyhow, the point is, this is one difficult quandary. As much as the television show Dancing with the Stars is an obviously anti-dude, testes-hammering, limp note of a television show that has been scientifically proven to turn hardcore AC/DC loving rock fans into front row sweaty screamers at Adam Lambert concerts (I've got the data), now, our most be-lusted Maria Menounos and her body-by-heaven have joined the cast of the upcoming season, already begun practicing, as evidenced by Maria arriving on set in her stretch pants, and thrown the small intellectual portions of our gray matter into major stupefaction mode.
At this point, we have no idea what to do. I've called a session of the Elders of Egotastic!, a council of very wise, very horny sagely men to ponder this issue and come out with some sound advice within the week. In the mean time, Maria in stretch pants, oh, my. Enjoy.
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Egotastic
Lindsay Arnold Makes Dancing with the Stars’ Parking Lot Worth Watching
As you know, Dancing with the Stars remains on our down low list. As in, we'd never tell you what you can or can't watch on television, that's between you, your pussy whipper, and your maker. But we can advise you to keep it on the down low. However, good news, ogling the parking lot of the DWTS studios at rehearsal time is perfectly acceptable, especially when dancing pro Lindsay Arnold shows off a little bit of her hot dancer body.
Now, often times, dancers get a little hard and heavy in the musculature department for our tastes. I know some of you like yourselves a good barbarian woman challenge, we here at Egotastic! generally shy away from anything that might resemble work, so we like a tamer breed of the opposite sex. Firm, but soft. Soft, but firm. Or, as a perfect visual example, Lindsay Arnold who we can't stop staring at this morning. Enjoy.
WE FIRST MET LINDSAY AT HER FIRST DWTS PRACTICE SESSION (LEGS!!)