Covered Topless Posts:

Miley Cyrus Mostly Nekkid, Oiled Down, and Taped Up for Concert Intro Video

Who am I to tell people how they can or can not make an entrance? When I arrive at the Egotastic! offices each morning, I do demand some of the lesser known songs from The Cardigans in original Swedish format play on the PA system. It gets me ready to start my day, usually followed swiftly with a doughnut and a nap. Miley Cyrus prefer something just a bit racier.

A wacky visual effects film featuring Miley in oiled down near nekkidness running about and making kitty faces for the camera. I get the near nekkid part. The rest of the symbolism truly eludes me as art usually does. Though that hasn't stopped me from telling girls on Match.com I love to go to the museum. Enjoy.

Izabel Goulart Covered Topless Will Make Your Day

Ah, Izabel Goulart. You bring so much joy to the world with your amazing bikini body. But these pics of you barely covering your funbags is downright a humanitarian endeavor. In this Miami photo shoot, the Brazilian beauty starts off in a revealing black bikini. That would have been awesome enough on its own. It shows off her cut stomach with just a hint of side boob. But the real treat is her covering one ta-ta with her arm and the other with some strategically placed hair. But her lovely brunette tresses can only conceal so much of her chest puppies. She's also eating a peach. I'm not sure what it is but I do love watching a woman eat a piece of fruit. It doesn't have to be anything phallic like a banana either. Maybe it's the Catholic school associations with the sexy Garden of Eden and original sin and all that. Either way, yes.

I'm not sure what publication this photo shoot is for but I'm buying two copies. You know, in case one gets damaged.

Barbara Palvin Covered Nekkid and Wet Hot for Marie Claire

Oh, sure, make fun of me for collecting women's magazines, but every dangerous step I take onto the portico of my Pied-à-terre each month is a step I take for you. The slings and arrows of the middle school skateboard crew who mock my choices of periodicals have no idea of the riches contained within the likes of Marie Claire, the Italian edition, wherein wicked hot Barbara Palvin is without clothes and barely covered and quite wet and all-around uber-sextastic for the eyes of the more ardent gentleman ogler. How could I not do this for you>

Barbara Palvin remains the hottest woman I know named Barbara. Seeing her lucky hands violating our right to her even sweeter peeks makes me both angry and at the same time thrilled by a tease from this object d' lust.  Mostly I guess I'm just jealous of her digits. Oh, how nice that must feel. Like crushed velvet on heaven. Enjoy.

Camille Rowe and Her Lingerie Sort of Covered Uncovered Body Drives Me Absolutely Crazy

The day Victoria's Secret brought Camille Rowe into their stable of world class lingerie modeling hotties was one of the happier days of my life. I can't really compare it to the birth of a child or graduation from reform school, but let's just say it's between Camille's signing on to V.S. and the day my local grocery store put Pacifico on permanent club sale that I will remember with the biggest smile in my golden years.

Featured in the latest and greatest from the lingerie make extraordinaire, Camille Rowe shows once again why a super sextastic hottie with no top on is the very best way to sell bras. It's ironic, I know. But I'm on the phone right now with V.S. asking my sales representative Stephanee with two e's if she can sell me the bra Camille was formerly wearing before she removed it for the shoot. No, no need to wash it, I'll take it as-is, right off the shelf. Enjoy.

Kristen Bell, Nia Long, Minnie Driver, and Jenna Dewan Tatum Nearly Nekkid for Allure

It's that time again. The May edition of Allure magazine when even the ladies magazine is giving something back to the menfolk with a bundle of individual slightly covered nekkid shots of some of the sweetness names in show-off business. Names you might not expect like Kristen Bell, Minnie Driver, Nia Long, and Jenna Dewan Tatum all looking one slight turn away from revealing their full goodness.

Oh, sure, there's a little help from the software in these photos, but the poses and the peeks are still ever so sweet, with skintastic views of some fine ladies we'd likely not ever see so bare or at least without a body double in their film work. I do so lust shimmering nekkid hot celebrities. If the shimmer isn't there, I just apply it in my own mind, like a Photoshop effect. Just wonderful work, Allure, with more to come I am sure. Enjoy.

Dita Von Teese Covered Topless Performance At Revolution in Florida

Everyone's favorite burlesque star Dita Von Teese showed off her goodies at a performance at the Revolution club in Florida. The brunette beauty hit the stage wearing spangly bottoms and pasties on her nips. I say that she was "covered topless" but you could pretty much see everything. A couple of stickers do not make you clothed. Dita danced around, dumped water on herself in a giant champagne glass, and generally made the audience feel something stirring in their bathing suit areas. Dita's work harkens back to a simpler time when exotic dancing was classier than it is today. It was all about teasing and flirting and not just dry humping for twenty bucks a song. Dita is painfully gorgeous. I wonder if she's coming to do a show in New York anytime soon? It's not stripping it's performance art, right?

I wonder if she applies the pasties on herself or if it is some lucky person's job to stick those on her pert nips? If so, what did that person do right in their last life to merit that reward?

Anais Pouliot Covered Topless in Victoria’s Secret

French Canadian hottie Anais Pouliot is in all her slightly covered topless glory in this month's Victoria's Secret. Anais is just barely concealing her chesticles from view in these pictures. She is also sporting a flower crown. It's all very nymphlike, if nymphs wore frilly lingerie. I like to believe that if nymphs had money they might venture to the local mall to purchase a nice garter belt of bustier. Unfortunately, they don't actually exist. Still, the effect of Anais' photos is both shy and coquettish and super hot. I think it's probably due to her French Canadian heritage. Canadians tend to be fairly reserved unless they are at a hockey game. But the French are all about the sexy sex. I was once in Paris and I saw more breasts out in the wild than I've ever encountered before. This Quebec must be a magical place.

I'm going to have to get a hold of this April Victoria's Secret catalog. You know, for research. It is both my job and my duty.