Covered Topless

Miley Cyrus Nipple Pasties Only in Miami

I’m sure Miley Cyrus must’ve been headed to some kind of costume event as this isn’t how she normally… well, actually, this is kind of how she normally appears in public, though the straight up pasties only look is something rather new.

Miley and her new boyfriend one of the Schwarzenegger kids hit some event in Miami where Miley felt that absolutely no top or bra, just some silver cones over her teat-ends would suffice as far as semi-formal wear. I applaud Miley once again for pushing the boundaries of public exhibitionism. She may not be your particular favorite to see mostly topless about town, but she certainly has raised the bar for all the other sextastic celebrities in her industry. For the twenty or so other pop divas you now see performing, strutting, or just plain bopping about town half-nekkid, you can thank Miley a good bit. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PCN

Eddie Pettersson Topless Swedish Seaside Delights


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Swedish model Eddie Pettersson describes her lifestyle as vegan, sugar-free, and gluten-free. It pains me to say that during our inevitable future mad, short lived but furious sexual adventures, Eddie and I will need to dine separately on breaks. Uncle Bill needs his steak and shakes for sustenance between rounds of his multi-minute sweaty give and takes, focused heavily on the takes.

For a peek at why my lust for Eddie runs rather deep, take a gander at her especially fine nordic modeling offerings in the current edition of C-Heads magazine where Eddie sells funbags by the seashore. She’s simply a natural beauty. I know so many of us pine for that on here. Well, pine away my fans of Mother Nature’s organic product line. Ms. Pettersson, you are mostly definitely a keeper. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: C-Heads

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Natalie Morris Topless Classic Hotness for Treats


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I’m really kind of a people person. You might not know it from my ‘Keep Out’ signs or the way I growl like a pit bull facing the neutering knife when confronted with people seeking to interact. But when it comes to extremely attractive women, I’m more than open to socializing. And I find no better way to meet this delightful demographic than through wonderfully shot topless photos in publications promoting the beauty of woman such a Treats magazine.

So, hello, Natalie Morris. Natalie might be familiar to those of you who closely follow the modeling scene, especially here in Los Angeles. Okay, so it’s one of my hobbies. So much more fun than Lego building. No offense, Master Nerds. Natalie makes her Egotastic! introduction by showing off her classic beauty in combination with her neo-classic funbags, both of which are a spectacular entrance to the cathedral of the celebrity sextastic. Welcome, Natalie. Linger awhile. We have soft cheeses. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Treats Magazine

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Michelle K Sells Albums With Her Boobies And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Michelle K will give you a signed nude pic with every album! (Idolator)

Kendall Jenner and her nips walk the runway. (TMZ)

Beyonce‘s new video has her traipsing around in lingerie. (Drunken Stepfather)

I don’t know who Pilar Lastra is but she is muy caliente in underwears. (Hollywood Tuna)

Iris Kavkas in lingerie gives me a Kafkaesque feeling in my pants. (Popoholic)

I don’t care what Bette Midler says, Ariana Grande is a hottie. (The Superficial)

Meet Playboy’s Stephanie Corneliussen. Spoiler Alert: She’s got big ol funbags. (COED)

Anna Andres Is Miss Ukraine Universe Level Lingerie Hotness in GQ

Ukraine happens to be a land of many gaggles of super fine young women. So many of the world’s top supermodels hail from the Ukrainian lands. Like Anna Andres who was recently crowned Miss Ukraine to be competing in the Miss Universe pageant. They don’t just hand out that title to any shlub off the streets of Kiev. Oh, no, just check out Anna’s curriculum vitae by way of this steaming sextastic pictorial in the new edition of GQ Russia. Wow, as to the brunette, triple wow as to everything that lay beneath the hair line.

Someday, I’d like to be a judge in one of these world class pageants. Naturally I’d be fair and just and unbiased and treat all the contestants equally. I mean, among the group that refused my salacious advances obviously. The girls who let me play with their toes would naturally receive some higher marks in the contribution to society scoring. There’s fair and then there’s practical. I can be fairly easily bought. Oh, Anna, please do buy me. Enjoy.


Colleen Shannon Uses Her Jugs To Sell Expensive Water

DJ Colleen Shannon had her turntables out and spinning in this photoshoot for 138 Water in Malibu. Colleen started off wearing a tiny blue bikini that showed off those gorgeous knockers splendidly. But you know what makes a better top? If there is no top! She seems to have lost it in the surf and only had her hands to try and hide the massive bulk of those famous subwoofers of hers. Needless to say, there is all kinds of tasty boobie flesh sticking out of her tender little fingers. But let’s not forget that booty, y’all. It’s tight and fully packed. I often think on Colleen’s booty and how magical it is. What I wouldn’t give to snuggle up to those buns for a few minutes.

Paris Hilton was just named the top woman DJ at some awards show for DJs. I’m sure Colleen is feeling kind of sad. I’d gladly cheer her up.

Maitland Ward Hot Bosom Bodied Touchy Descent Into the Maelstrom

They’re calling this a pre-production promo shoot for a film called Descent into the Maelstrom. I know it’s an Edgar Allen Poe story because I remember not reading it when assigned in high school. I don’t see the movie listing anywhere. Nevertheless, it did bring out Maitland Ward in almost no clothes for a marketing shoot of the boobtastic variety. Real film or not, the chance to see the most sextastically boobtastic cosplay girl of the mammarial moment is always worthwhile as the former Boy Meets World starlet barely covered her glorious cans and even flashed her midsection and an area my granny used to call the ‘off limits’. I can say only this, Maitland seems to wax her off limits to a sheeny shine.

Maitland Ward has recently been in the media talking about how cool she is with utilizing her feminine bodily gifts to her career benefit. Kind of refreshing really to hear a woman relieve me of any leering type guilt I might be harboring. Honesty really is the best policy. Well, honestly along with serious skin flashes. Enjoy.