With the New Year comes the ever ticking imminent clock of Valentine’s Day. Hard to believe but you’ve got a month and a week to get that perfect for somebody special. Naturally, I will be taking the lust of my life, Candice Swanepoel, to see 50 Shades of Grey then out to In & Out Burger for some double doubles then back to the studio apartment mansion for endless rounds of David and Bathsheba. I like to throw a little biblical color into the holiday passion.
As a preview of my own Valentine’s evening, Candice was kind enough to model some very bits of V.S. lingerie being pimped specifically for the fine ladies on February 14th. As you know, each year I caution you against purchasing lingerie for your girl despite the upside you envision. It’s a trap. It’s always been a trap. It will always be a trap. Get flowers and a cashmere scarf, if you can eat the cost. Trust Uncle Bill. I’ve been around that block. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victorias Secret
Candice Swanepoel is one effing sexy santa. (Hollywood Tuna)
Robin Thicke’s 19-year-old girlfriend April Love Geary is friggin hot. (TMZ)
Edita Vilkeviciute in frilly lingerie made my Christmas Eve special. (Drunken Stepfather)
Daniela Lopez Osorio has got some big ‘ol funbags in these underwear pics. (Popoholic)
This Alessandra Ambrosio advent calendar makes me wish I was Catholic. (COED)
I sure would like to wrestle around with WWE’s Lana. (Busted Coverage)
Emmy Rossum wore a see-through shirt and it is good. (Celebslam)
Have you ever thought to yourself, hmm, I wonder what uber-sextastic Candice Swanepoel might look like in tight revealing workout gear doing all kinds of sweaty physical activities? I know, me too. And here’s our answer.
Posing down, posing off, and just plain exuding sweaty udder hotness, Candice Swanepoel pimps the shizz out of Victoria’s Secret exercise clothing line for women with outrageously hot bodies who want to make every man at the gym feel supremely uncomfortable, yet not so much that they ever look away. That would just be rude. I’m pretty sure I’d rapidly change memberships to the facility where Candice shows up in these outfits to get fit, even if that means writing a letter to the Costa Rican headquarters of these gym outlets and waiting six months to be told my gym cancelation will be processed in another six months. I’d do that for the sight of Candice and that smoking hot body of hers. Also, to be part of the class action suit down the road. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
If you consider yourself a true connoisseur of the Victoria’s Secret Angels, then you know the finer moments often occur after the show is over, when the girls get decked out for the after party, all swank and gowned out over the lovely little silky bits they modeled earlier.
Candice Swanepoel and a bevy of other Euro-model beauties tasked with catwalking in bra and panties headed back to the hotel for what can only be described as the best party you never got invited to. Or if you did, I hope you took pictures in and around the ladies powder room. A job well done by the ladies earlier in the evening, time to let loose later in the evening. There’s really nothing better than a room full of the world’s most sextastic women looking to unwind after work. This is the true Happy Hour. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet
And, then it happened. After all the hype and promos and media moments, it was time to unleash the super world class lingerie hotties down the catwalk at the U.K. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I can’t show how it compares or not to the U.S. edition, I can only say more more more can never quite be enough when you’re talking about the likes of Candice Swanepoel and the vastly underrated Doutzen Kroes strutting the runway in bras and panties. Granted, the wings and feathers and dramatic flairs are a bit over the top and unnecessarily stagy, but that couldn’t possibly take away from the sheer epic power of a dozen of the world’s most sextastic women in their intimates flashing their absolutely perfect bodies to the world. It’d be like complaining about the color of the craft that landed on the moon. This is the accomplishment.
Next year I do hope Victoria’s Secret takes my suggestion and adds a third major fashion show venue within my very home. I have the runway already nearly assembled and an applause machine to make up for the fact that myself and my elderly neighbor Anton who helped pay for the runway linoleum will be in attendance. C’mon, V.S., this just makes sense. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / INFphoto.com / Splash News / GSI
The lovely ladies of lingerie heaven moved over to the British Isles for the U.K. version of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. The British girls love their silk and lace quite a bit too, don’t you know. So Candice Swanepoel
and Alessandra Ambrosio
and a gaggle full of the world’s hottest lingerie models shipped themselves and their bra and panties over to England for a show of sextastic and elastic.
For some reason only me and my imaginary older man friend Bert truly know, I really love the look of the girls backstage in their kimonos perhaps even more than the show itself. Something naughty and cheeky about visiting these wicked hot women whilst prepping for their catwalk. Maybe it’s the idea of peeking where I don’t belong, or just that all my perfect job search result lead me to be oil boy backstage at a lingerie show, but I just feel at home. Oh, that this were my home. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Splash News
You don’t just show up to a monster televised lingerie runway show and not be pre-fitted for your bras and panties. Not to mention your wings. God forbid your panties are too snug or too lose and flash something untoward to an large television audience. We can’t have that. The show might actually get interesting.
Candice Swanepoel and her uber-sextastic body showed up for her pre-fitting for the big upcoming show. I can’t imagine a better job in the world than making sure Candice’s tiny bits of silky underwear fits her just perfectly. Maybe the job of removing that lingerie later on, though I’m not sure that’s an actual job so much as a dream volunteer assignment. Candice, you’re going to cause me to add even more lacy elements to my closet of shame. I don’t blame you, but you probably will still need a reminder spanking. I give with one hand and punish with the other. Enjoy.