I’ll say this for Twilight, it’s definitely created some good in this world, like a emo-cheating thespianic Kristen Stewart who we really want to not like so much, but she is just simply getting better and better looking and it’s raising all types of conundrums for us, moral dilemmas if you will, things we rarely have to contemplate.
Like, it is okay to lust a girl you always want to donkey punch? These are the big questions of our age that we struggle with here at Egotastic! so that you don’t have to in the comfort of your own cubby. We can handle the truth. And, donkey punching K-Stew. Enjoy.
We always look beyond the obvious here at Egotastic!, mostly just because we’re too slow to pick up on the obvious often, but also because we have been gifted with superhuman powers, such as the ability to drink on the job without it affecting our speling, also the ability to read into the minds of emo thespianics like Kristen Stewart, who wore a sort of sextastic Morticia dress to the premiere of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Way Too Many in London.
Now, not saying we don’t appreciate a dress that shows off like Kristen’s did on the red carpet, but we’re also saying that our third eye sees all, and Kristen is subtly letting her foppish boyfriend know that when she let the Snow White director dive down upon her clam, well, that entire experience is now dead to her. Book it. Enjoy.
I’m told this is the end of the Twilight Saga, the pornucopia of cinematic fare that has stimulated the libidinal parts of the fairer gender, young and old, with its incredibly romantic vision of Goth vampires from the Pacific Northwest, like so many flannel-clad vegan protestors outside a Starbucks, thirsty for blood, or, pumpkin-spiced lattes.
While it’s easy to mock the craptastic vamp trail that has been Twilight, there’s no doubt that the film series has introduced us to a treasure trove of hotties, for whom we are thankful in this giving of thanks season, and many of whom were in attendance at the L.A. premiere of the Breaking Dawn 2 finale last night, including Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, and Kristen Stewart, who along with Ashley Tisdale and Teresa Palmer, stole the show on the big production red carpet. Looking at all these lovely ladies it wasn’t hard to imagine a little serious sucking going on. Enjoy.