Billboard Music Awards

Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Rowland and More Hotties at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards

The Billboard Music Awards was a veritable bevy of hotness. Nicki Minaj and her giant ta-tas were on full display. She has got to be in the top 5 most gargantuan melons on Earth right now. My hometown girl Kelly Rowland was wearing what is essentially a sports bra. I remember seeing Kelly and her girls back in Houston in the 90′s. Those sweater puppies helped me through puberty. My girl Jennifer Lopez was also on hand wearing a sheer see through skirt and a tiny pair of short shorts. J-Lo’s legs are friggin dynamite. That is what arroz con pollo does, god bless it. Kylie and Kendall Jenner were also there looking hot as F. Kylie had a top that was basically a glorified bikini top. One of my childhood crushes, Danica Mckeller, attended as well. She brings back memories of me sitting and staring lustfully at The Wonder Years.

One of the main reasons I want to become famous is so I can go to events like this. Besides the beach, the red carpet is the best place to ogle celebs.

Nicki Minaj Blasts Crazy Big Asstastic All Over the Billboard Music Awards

There’s no doubt Nicki Minaj and her big ole booty stole the show last night at the Billboard Music Awards. It wasn’t really much of a show at that, and I had to watch with the volume off, but when Nicki’s badonkadonk appeared in black stretch pants, well, I heard all kinds of noises. I suppose they were mostly inside my head and telling me to do all sorts of ungentlemanly type things, but an order is an order.

There’s much to be wary of in regard to Nicki Minaj. I can see being in a relationship with her and every time I walked near a higher floor open window at least considering not hearing her voice again, but, that butt. Oh, that butt. That’d keep me from defenestrating because there can’t possibly be anything that slappable in the next world. Enjoy.

Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Miley Cyrus, and Selena Gomez Repping Pop Hotties at 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Okay, let’s put his out there first. The Billboard Music Awards are handed out based on the sale of music, which means, the taste of your average young teen girl dictates the winners. So, musically speaking, yeah, not so good. But, and this is a big but, it also means that all the big names in music, and all the A-list hottie divas, also are obliged to say yes to attend. And not just attend, but look their stellar best ,in Vegas every year for the ceremony. So, basically you have a party with killer looking girls and lousy music. You’d make that trade any day.

Leading the list of lookers at the celebration of craptastic music was Taylor Swift surprised once again to win awards even though pre-announced, Jennifer Lopez still hanging with the youngin’s, Selena Gomez looking might fine save for rumors of her reunited for a fourth time with The Devil’s Midget, Miley Cyrus sparkling hard these days, heck, even Kesha managed to look rather fetching, a sure sign that everybody’s game has been stepped up for the evening. And then a whole lot of celebrity hodgepodge of hotness. It was quite a night. I wish I could of been there, but three different restraining orders by various pop divas formed an intersecting domain of denial around me being in Vegas. People take peeping in windows so damn serious these days. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Sings Ode to Facebook to Promote Her New 3D Movie (VIDEO)

Katy Perry Wide Awake
Katy Perry Loves Facebook!

The day when singers and so-called music artists have run out of things to croon about has finally come. Katy Perry is done singing about aliens, teenage dreams, and last Friday night, because everyone’s favorite cocktease is now singing about Facebook!

Katy dropped her new single, Wide Awake, at the Billboard Music Awards last Sunday. She subsequently released a lyric video for the song, which you can watch in rapture above, that highlights her own career set to Facebook’s Timeline profile.


The Boobtastic Billboard Awards, Short on Taste, Long on Cleavage

Who is anyone to judge popular music? I mean, it’s called popular music because it’s popular it’s not called the ‘amazing music’ category, in which case, one could argue that the overproduced, monotonous, auto-tuned, simplistically arranged, auditory assault that is much of popular music is anything but amazing, unless you’re 12, a girl, and you think LOL is an actual verb. Nevertheless, pop music always has brought out the hotties, which forces even grown men to pay attention to the good vibrations emanating from last night’s Billboard Music Awards in Vegas where a number of sweet boobtastic blinkering babes of music put on a decent show of skin while Justin Bieber cowered in his fur lined jacket in the corner and whimpered for the lady parts to go away.

And, none brought the boob shtick better than Miley Cyrus, who has been outright dominating the pop diva flashes and bares and all-around Pilates body hotness scene in her category of late. Continuing to dominate the competition, Miley donned what seemed to be a side boob baring jacket with nothing underneath, and no pants to boot. In an outfit that only the confident hotties feel confident in, and good for Miley for earning her way into that category. Of course, Kate Cocktease also looked rather boobtastic even if still under the weather from her personal life blues, along with Taylor Swift, the G-rated version of a very X-rated fantasy about Taylor I can’t stop having, Brandy, who looked pretty damn hot, and Amber Rose, who always puts on a wonderful display of the chest puppies for the big occasions, and was in attendance because she’s fellating some music star again these days, I can’t remember which, but she looks good.

All in all, watchable, just not listenable. Enjoy.