Asstastic Posts:

Ali Landry Veteran Asstastic Hangs a Perfect 10

By Bill Swift | September 28, 2012 @ 8:29 am

Ali Landry Sexy Body Goes Surfing in Hawaii

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As much as Ali Landry needed her Hawaiian vacation, I think we needed to see her on her on the beach and in the ocean even more. Yesterday, some nice shots of her frontal lobes in a blue bikini on the sand in Maui, and today, a grand display of her MILFtastic asstastic during surfing time in the mighty Pacific.

Now, there are few things in this world naughtier than a mom with a hot keester flashing it in all sorts of bending and preening positions. But you mix in a bikini bottom and water and you suddenly have mind blowing type visual wonderments. Bless you, Ali Landry. Enjoy.

WE SO LUST MOMS WITH HOT REARS, LIKE KATE BECKINSALE

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Kylie Minogue Flashes Her Sweet Crack for Insurance Advertisement

By Bill Swift | September 26, 2012 @ 8:07 am

Kylie Minogue Flashes Her Sweet Asstastic for Sexy Ad

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Our lust crush with veteran Aussie pop diva Kylie Minogue has gone on, well, gone on forever. And while the 44-year old temptress has done a few weird updating type things to her once amazing looks, there's no doubt that her body remains the stuff of teen-boys-fapping legend, including an arse that Kylie is still showing off to this day.

In fact, she shows it off completely bare in this short video that appears to be an advertisement for a London Insurance company. Odd, but extra super hot.

(Thanks to EgoReader 'Steve' for the heads up on Kylie's bottoms up.)

Check Out the Video of Kylie's Bare-Arse »

Eva Longoria Bare-Arsed Nekkid from Behind ‘Asleep at the Chateau’

By Bill Swift | September 20, 2012 @ 9:16 am

Austrian minimalist photographer Jork Weismann has found an incredibly new and interesting way to get girls to take their clothes off for the camera at the Chateau Marmont, shooting them pretending to be asleep (no, not passed out or unconscious, that's an entirely different set of Chateau Marmont pictures), but just in peaceful slumber.

And, well, it all sounded kind of silly to us until we caught site of Eva Longoria bare-arsed on the bed in the Chateau, like a sleeping Latina beauty with a booty we could just about kill for (I mean, we don't believe in violence, but to get that dumper in our grasp, we might be willing to do some dirty deeds).

We've already proclaimed Eva Longoria to be one of the most eligible single ladies in all of Hottieville; now, we just have to think about crowning her. Enjoy.

EVA LONGORIA GIVES JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU COMING BACK FOR MORE

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Jennifer Nicole Lee Flashes Her Business For a Business Meeting

By Bill Swift | September 4, 2012 @ 3:04 pm

Jennifer Nicole Lee Wears a Short Tight Dress to a Meeting in Miami

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If you're like me, you've been wondering to yourself -- sure, BBW turned MILFtastic fitness guru, Jennifer Nicole Lee, you're always in a tiny bikini (or less) or in some ridiculously short tight beach dress when shopping, but sometimes, you must need to dress appropriately for, say, a business meeting. And, indeed, we caught Jennifer Nicole Lee on her way to just such a formal occasion, decked out in extremely conservative garb, well, that is, conservative for JNL, in a super short asstastic clinging dress unbuttoned up to the fare-thee-well.

Someday, I'd like to be in business with Jennifer Nicole Lee. And I'm going to call a shit-ton of meetings. Trust.And, enjoy.

JENNIFER NICOLE LEE HAS RE-INVENTED THE BIKINI EXHIBITION GAME

Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini Malfunction in Miami Beach

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Sophie Turner See-Through Skirt Flashes a Labor of Cheeky Love

By Bill Swift | September 4, 2012 @ 2:04 pm

Asstastic!

Sophie Turner Wears a See-Through White Skirt to a Pool Party in Brentwood

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How did you spend your Labor Day? As you may know, Egotastic! spent the bulk of the day perfecting pork butt on the grill, but our butt could not nearly match the asstastic presentation put on by hot-bodied Aussie wonderment, Sophie Turner, who flashed her down under region at a Labor Day party in Brentwood.

Now, outside of the occasional car crash from passing by ogling gentleman, nobody was harmed by Sophie's flashy garb, her body flawless exhibition, or her ability to turn an American holiday dedicated to hard labor and turn it into a labor of lust for oglers everywhere. This is how we got the word 'holiday' in the first place, it's a contraction for 'holy faptastic, check out Sophie's arse today!' Enjoy.

SOPHIE TURNER IN HER JOSH RYAN PHOTOSHOOT REMAINS OUR FAVORITE

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Paula LaBaredas Bikini Pictures Flash Her Portuguese Crack (and It’s Delicious!)

By Bill Swift | August 29, 2012 @ 9:52 am

Asstastic!

Paula LaBaredas Bikini Slips While Taking a Swim in a Pool

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Oh, butt men, arise, as it were, because we have one fine looking dumper ready for you.

Portuguese-American model and B-movie actress hottie Paula LaBaredas flashed some amazing buttockal crack out of her falling bikini bottoms while playing at her hotel pool and we could not be more visually pleased. We dig this soccer-fan faptastic cosplay loving model and while we could've used a few more inches of wardrobe malfunction, not to mention some frontal love, we never look a gift crack in the mouth, or something like that.

Just plain wet and delicious. Enjoy.

PAULA LABAREDAS MAKES US JEALOUS OF SOCCER BALLS

Paula LaBaredas Sexy Portuguese Soccer Team Photoshoot

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Katy Perry Flashes Her Bare Bottom (and Almost Her Top) Causing Raging Wood at Raging Waters

By Bill Swift | August 12, 2012 @ 9:46 pm

Bare Moon Fever!!!!

Katy Perry Flashes Her Bare Butt at Raging Waters Park

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Katy Perry almost lost her entire bikini today at the Raging Waters waterpark in San Dimas, and if you don't think Mother Nature is on our side in getting Katy Cocktease to finally flash her whole nekkid hot curvy body, then you're not seeing Fate as I do.

The pop diva took to the waterpark on a tremendously hot day here in Southern California and it looks like they cleared out a few slippery when wet rides just for Katy and her extensive entourage, none of whom were fast enough to run toward their mistress with coverup when the waves took Katy's bottoms down to her thighs, and her top nearly off (she's not facing that wall and I think we just might see nipple -- alas, there's more work to be done).

Nevertheless, the sight of Katy Cocktease's full white shiny moon gave us little tingles of joy, and a sense of the inevitable coming to fruition. Between our pleas and the handiwork of the Fates, we are going to see full frontal sometime in the future. I can feel it in my Egotastic! bone. Enjoy.