Asstastic Posts:

Michelle Lewin Works Her Booty to the Point of Asstastic Perfection in Miami

Amazing thumpers don't just grow on trees. Oh, that they did. I'd live beneath that tree. They are both born and then shaped through hard work and sweat and sacrifice. Thankfully, I don't need to do any of those hard things to ogle Michelle Lewin and her toned round thing working out in Miami.

Michelle Lewin might just have the finest bottom side in the tough town of Miami. But it doesn't come easily. She stretches and squats and tugs that thing into its perfectly shaped submission. And, she obligingly does so in public, in tight stretch pants and a sports bra so that we may see precisely how the tastiest sausage is made. It really is quite the exhibition. I can only imagine the car accidents that ensue along her stretched out poses. Sacrifices must be made for the asstastic. Enjoy.

Karina Jelinek and Paz Cornu Soak Up the Sun With Hot Buns in Miami

I happen to heavily lust the hot buns and all-over goodness of Argentinean Karina Jelinek. And, look, she brought a friend with her today, fellow hot model countrywoman Paz Cornu, just to provide four amazing cheeks of sextastic glowing beneath the South Florida sunshine. Everybody is upping the ante in those parts, and the parts on these two wicked hot Sudamericanas is all-in, if I may carry on my lame poker analogy.

Oh, my oh my. this must be what booty heaven looks like. I'll let you know for sure when I get there. Enjoy.

Karina Jelinek Bikini Booty Is Sudamericana Perfection in Miami

There's really nothing more manly than crying like a little girl child at the sight of one wicked hot thong bikini asstastic. It's the height of masculinity to weep openly at such a visual wonderment.

Take for instance the beautifully tanned thumper of Argentinean model and oft-scandalous Karina Jelinek sharing her buttockal perfect peaks with the good oglers of Miami Beach. Quite a treat for the peeps. Just looking at that amazing booty on Karina, I can feel the waterworks kicking into high gear. Yes, I'm talking about my eyes. I'm an emotionally attached male. Oh, god, that ass. Somebody hold me. Enjoy.

Michelle Lewin Booty Workouts Ought to Be Illegal (Illegal Not to Watch)

Holy worked out thumper, Batman. Michelle Lewin, fitness model to the Miami stars extraordinaire, was once more pumping and straining and stretching her glutes at the park in Miami, making everybody passing by stop and stare and drag their tongues along the warm South Florida pavement.

Michelle doesn't just have a toned booty, she has the fiercest finest stacked bottomside this side of Jen Selter. I'd love to see those two battle it out for asstastic supremacy. I volunteer to be ref. There will no no tap outs. Just me whimpering a lot and begging for no mercy. Damn, look at that bottomside in shorts. I want to melt into her sweat. Is that even possible? I'm going to try. Enjoy.

Rumer Willis Shows Off Two Perky Cheeks of Booty Goodness in Stretch Pants

Wow, this wasn't exactly expected. Rumer Willis is not all that shy about showing off when she takes to getting into some more exhibitionist moments, but rarely have we seen her rear side so cheeky before in blessed stretch pants. And might I add, jolly good show, Rumer.

Rumer has been both blessed and cursed in the Bruce Willis offspring department I suppose. Sure, there's the lifestyle and the Demi Moore genes, but the Willis jawline has been likely dominating genetic traits for centuries now. Still, I shall never disrespect a young woman with a squeezable keester. It is a treasure to, um, treasure. Enjoy.

Andrea Calle Booty Faptastic Workout in Miami

Talk about tough competition, don't show up to Miami without your best assets forward, err, backward, for you will be swept right out of town.

Andrea Calle, the Spanish language MMA reporter hottie, took to the local parks herself in super tight and tiny shorts to show off her own particular thumper skills, bending, stretching, and working out her glutes to give her competition a little run for their money. Game on. Andrea did not come to just be nominated, she came to win the asstastic model hotties of Miami virtual showdown, with a booty so tight and round, all the flat bottomed girls began to cry. Oh, don't cry, I still lust you. Enjoy.

Holy Asstastic! Michelle Lewin Super Powers Her Thumper in the Park

I'm not sure that backside of fitness model Michelle Lewin should even be street legal. My living room legal, most certainly, but we can't have that kind of rear end poking and straining in the public parks where boys are bound to pick up all sorts of prurient thoughts. Just look what all my hours of ogling women at the park from a young age did to me. It's a burden I tell you.

Michelle Lewin has the rump of an exercised goddess. It's just so fierce and strong and thumpalicious. Then she turns around to reveal a super fine all over ridiculously hot woman. It's almost too much. Hurt me with your power-cheeks, Michelle. Make me suffer for my naughty thoughts. Go on, I need this cleansing of my mortal soul. When I stop breathing, go on for another five minutes. Enjoy.