Asstastic Posts:

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Highlight Her Killer Tush and Her Friend Jessica Edstrom

If there's anything hotter in this world that my future betrothed, the perfect seat cans of Italian model Claudia Romani, it's Claudia showing off her bikini bottom to her Swedish model friend, Jessica Edstrom. Yes, one and one sextastic lady don't make two, they make one , as in a singular dream of two playful kittens helping each other remove sand delicately from their glorious nooks and crannies after a day of soaking in the sun and showing off hot bodies for the gentleman oglers.

Someday, soon, 2014 I suspect, the laws of this land will catch up to the lust in my heart, and I shall take Claudia Romani's blessed bottomside to be my lawfully wedded making of the sexy time playtoy. But until such time as we reach that level of enlightenment I shall remain, The Butt Watcher. Enjoy.

Andrea Calle Bikini Booty Enters El Octagono De La Sextastica

Colombian Andrea Calle is making her mark in the U.S. as the Spanish language MMA reporter and all-around bootytastic sultry Latina model. Now, let her make a mark in your mind with her extensive two-hands worth of bootylicious bikini bottom treats swagger across South Beach. I'm not sure if this country currently has a full-scale promotion to bring in desperately sextastic full-bottomed Colombian girls like Sofia Vergara and Andrea Calle, but if not, I have to ask what is the role of government if not to increase the sheer number of hot asstastic Colombianas in our ranks? Precisely.

Andrea, some day, I'd like to take you jeans shopping. I'm happy to help you so the shimmy in and shimmy out part and tell you just how amazing your bottom looks in everything you try on. Yes, I am a kiss-ass. Enjoy.

Tahiry Booty Is… Well, Magical in SHOW

I must admit, I'm not super well educated on the world of hip hop video girls, reality show stars, or girls who have been with Drake, but I do know asstastic, and Tahiry, well, she's got something going on in that department.

Featured in SHOW magazine, the badonkadonk of this Love and Hip Hop reality actress is quite, well, gravitational. I'm not exactly sure how I would approach Tahiry, but I'm guessing it could take weeks to work around her backside, like travel in mountainous regions of the world before tunneling was invented. I'm sure many of you will say it's too much, but for the brave few of you who are hitching up your ropes and tackle pulleys to take on this challenge, adventure awaits. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Bikini Beach Bum Driving Me Quite Insane

Sometimes I look at Claudia Romani and her killer tush and I think to myself, how much longer until those hot tanned cheeks and I can be together wed in holy matrimony. More specifically, when I can I fly us away to the Waikiki Sheraton for which I hold one amazing Groupon so that we can express our newfound nuptial commitment through the act of sweaty, oily, making of the sexy.

Claudia was once more flashing her thong covered honking bottomside along the beach in Miami, creating auto accidents and turning more than three dozen boys into men right on the spot. You could almost hear the sound. Such is the power of the Romani butt. Oh, I can not wait to make it my betrothed. When will the laws of man catch up to my unnatural lust? Enjoy.

Dai Macedo Crowned Asstastic As Your New Miss BumBum Brazil

Why yes, there is a new Miss BumBum Brazil and her name is Dai Macedo. But, more importantly, her bottomside is expansive and glorious. In answer to all the tiny Pilates booties of Tinsel Town, the girls of Sudamericana are once again making the case for junk in the trunk with perhaps the most infamous asstastic contest on the planet, Miss BumBum Brazil.

Dai Macedo is the bum on the right in the photo above. Or the cheeks now fully lasered into your badonkadonk lusting libido. For all gentleman oglers out there who like a little, nay, a whole lot of cushion for the pushing, or just a butt that could knock you into next Tuesday, Ms. Macedo is your gal. When she starts to wagging that beast, you have to decide between fight and flight and the retreat is simply not a manly option. Enjoy.

Lisa Opie Bikini Pictures Continue to Flash All Kinds of Miami Booty Perfection

Miss Virgin Islands Lisa Opie just can't stop showing off her bikini body along the South Florida horizons. Let us give thanks for that. I'm not exactly sure what Lisa does in her non-bikini time, I'd like to imagine it's lots of long bubble baths and personal massage time, but when she's on the public clock, she is working her crazy hot booty and body like nobody's business. Well, our business maybe, the avocation of leering and gawking at such a fine female form.

Go ahead and laugh, but sometimes when I see a bikini butt so perfect by a poolside shower, I discover a single solitary tear running down my cheek. I am a romantic at heart. Enjoy.

Sophie Turner Ridiculous Wooty Can Not Be Overlooked (or Overspanked)

I'm not sure how we almost missed this hourglass drop down to epic wooty from the delicious Aussie blonde Sophie Turner over the Halloween weekend, but her booty is something I never wish to forsake.

We've been admiring Sophie's shapely form for a while now, with the allure of her lady curves ever on display in her figure hugging dresses. But this orange for the holidays bottomside clinger might just be the best yet. I'm not sure how or why or what falling star Sophie prayed to to get a badonkadonk like she has, I'm just so happy she's sharing. Enjoy.