Asstastic Posts:

Andrea Calle Booty Crazy Hot in Booty Shorts in South Beach

Tis the season for hot Latina booty in Miami. It's World Cup season and all guns are blazing for attention in the sports world, including the grandest sport of them all -- thumper preening workouts. Andrea Calle is clearly a contender for most watchable booty in South Florida this year. That bottomside on the MMA Spanish TV hottie is simple beyond spankable, not that I wouldn't try.

Sure, soccer is a pretty popular game around the world. But wake me when it's nearly as enticing as ogling the hot bodies on the finest women in the world. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Booty Packed Into Ultra Tight Skirt in West Hollywood

As the old saying goes, you don't want to know how the sausage is made, you just want to taste it off the grill. I may have added that last part, but it certainly seems apropos to Kim Kardashian and her moneymaker behind when packed into a skirt so tight, the inventors of the fabric ought to win some kind of Nobel award for manufacturing achievement.

Kim was out filming her reality show in West Hollywood and I suppose was only being shot from the front, as her entire bra was exposed in the back, albeit that's also where her million dollar butt-baby was stationed, so I'm not exactly sure what the E! camera instructions are. Either way, let's be honest, Kim's ginormous seat cans are impressive to the layman and the cleric both. She may be one of the most hated women in poll after poll, but there's nary a man alive who wouldn't like to try and scale Mount Butt-Everest at some point around midnight on a Saturday. Enjoy.

Izabel Goulart Wicked Hot in Black and White for Lui (I’m Actually Sweating Just Looking)

Damn. Double damn. Izabel Goulart may have just topped all of her Brazilian counterparts this week with a steamy hot and showy spread in Lui magazine that is truly one for the ages. Mostly ages 18 and up, because you know, boys don't think about sex until 18.

Izabel's crazy smoking hot body is actually dripping with a moisture known only as 'me want badly' trickling down her ridiculously tight and toned female form. And that butt. Oh, how I want to kneel down and make it my everything. That might seem disturbing to the uninitiated ass-man, but to those of us who worship the hot lady bottomside like it was dropped from heaven, you know what I'm talking about. Just absolute perfection. We could all use a little more Goulart in our lives. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Supports Team Italy and Bikini Hot Asstastic

Oh, my, well if my future betrothed bottomside wants to favor Team Italy, who am I to argue with its barely white thong covered goodness along the beach in Miami.

Claudia Romani is naturally pulling for The Boot in the current World Cup, and she's putting all her heart, soul, and most definitely body into it. All the international models along the South Florida shoreline are wearing their colors these days to support their home country. I couldn't think of a grander celebration of the beautiful game than by having beauties from around the world flashing their boobtastic and asstastic in jerseys and tiny bikinis. It really is a wonderment of fandom we can all get behind, literally.

Claudia, I'm pulling for Italy as well. If only for the amazing hugs you'll be giving out if they take the Cup. Enjoy.

Kate Middleton Butt-Gate Gets Hot and Heavy in European Circles

Seeing as how I was rumored to be her baby daddy, I often do get asked to comment on stories involving Kate Middleton, especially her bare nekkid fun parts. We all remember the scandal when paparazzi shot photos of Kate topless on vacation and England declared war on the rest of Europe and I think guillotined a few French and Danish publishers. They do take their royals very seriously on the Old Country.

Now, a photo of Kate Middleton's bare-arse, not her first upskirt wind-aided fly-up, has the British royals up in booty arms again. Apparently, they don't think the rest of the world needs to see the hot MILFy buns of their future Queen. Even their own newspapers of record won't show the photos, just talk about how uncouth the rest of the world is for not respecting the monarchs. As for Kate Middleton, she continues to wear summer dresses with high hemlines and thong panties while getting in and out of helicopters. I'll let you decide how she feels about being butt peeped.

In my opinion, everybody, most definitely including England, needs to be grateful they have one of the world's best looking royals on their home turf and ought to gladly share pics of her regal beagle if for no other reason than to make the rest of the world jealous. But that's just me, Little Georgie's Uncle Bill.

Photo credit: Bild.de

Luxiboo Wet T-Shirt Asstastic Goodness in Malibu

Luxiboo is my new favorite Pinay model with killer curves. She might even make my bucket list, that is, thing for which I am willing to hand over my bucket of change I've been collecting since 2005 in order to obtain. She sure seems what will ultimately prove to be an extremely cumbersome load of  about $89 once turned into the machine at the grocery story.

Luxiboo added a little Reckless slogan wet-shirt barely covering her outrageously hot boobtastic and an overall bikini body that deserves some kind of Presidential Award. Heck, I got an award for doing 15 pushups, I think Lexiboo and her asstastic preening deserves at least the same.  Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Bring Back the Killer Tush In All Its Lust Inducing Glory

I don't follow the news and politics all that closely I must admit, but based on headline scanning I do believe I'm getting a couple steps closer to being able to legally marry the hot thong bikini booty of Italian model Claudia Romani. It will be a simple ceremony. I'll break the glass, I wouldn't want her perfect thumper to be injured in any manner. I mean, a slight bit of spanking later in the evening, but mostly just because her bottomside has been very naughty.

Once married, I'll whisk her sweet cheeks away for a honeymoon in either Hawaii or to my summer residence at the Red Roof Inn down the street here for one to seven nights of semi-conscious coupling. It will be grand. I can already picture a game show host on the Newlywed Game asking her sweet seat what kind of cereal I like best. We will be so happy until the inevitable messy celebrity butt divorce. Oh, Claudia, your killer tush is killing me! Enjoy.