Asstastic

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures for Thong Booty Lusters Everywhere

I’m not suggesting that the killer tush on Claudia Romani and I will have an open marriage post-nuptials, but I’m not the kind of guy who’s going to tell other guy’s they can’t look. Hey, why own a Ferrari and hide it in the garage? I actually can’t even begin to fathom that question. Nor why I would hold so tightly onto Claudia’s perfect thong clad asstastic that I’d cover it in burqas when out in public. Nay, art belongs to the entire world, even if I am the one polishing and oiling it each evening in the privacy of my home’s hot ass room. What, you don’t have one of those?

Winter is coming. But in Miami this means the finest bikini bodies are assembling on the beach. It will be tough for any body or booty to best the magical thumper on Claudia Romani. But I most definitely look forward to those undertaking such a mission. This is going to be most illuminating. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Miss BumBum Andressa Urach Topless Once More for Miami Heat and Bikini Asstastic Views

 
Click to See Uncensored

Ah, Miss BumBum of BumBum’s past, Andressa Urach is back and doing what only she can do on Miami Beach to get her curvaceous form into contention — taking off her top for some funbags in the sun time. Not that she’s the only one who can do this, but she is one of the few who dares to bare ta-ta’s on the shoreline where such exhibition is frowned upon by the po-po with I believe a death sentence in the State of Florida. It’s a risk worth taking I might add, ladies.

This isn’t just about sunbathing and prancing and preening, this is hot bodied sextastic international war daily on the beach. To paraphrase, you don’t bring a bikini top to a topless hot girl fight. Andressa Urach topless on a Jet Ski, now that’s an entry form filled out ever so perfectly. Well played, Miss BumBum, well played. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

See More Andressa Urach Topless in Miami Goodness »

Susy Gala Topless Pictures Celebrate Best Ass in Spain Declaration

 
Click to see Uncensored

Here’s what I love about the Spanish. Well, it’s not just one thing, but one more thing. Interviu magazine just named matured-themed film star Susy Gala as the best asstastic on the Iberian peninsula. That’s very liberal minded of them. Many countries might ding an adult star because of her more extensive work in the erotic arts, but Spain sees a job as a job and a booty as a booty and forgoes all the judging. I can’t imagine any U.S. magazines would do the same in their hottie naming lists. In fact, they almost entirely specifically exclude adult entertainers, even though several of them are well beyond good looking. Not all, but some.

So bravo Spains, Interviu, and most of all Susy Gala, whose more profound work I’m sure I can share with you in some measure, though for now, just her killer female form in her acceptance speech pictorial. It’s a mighty fine thumper. Si, Senor! Enjoy.

Okay, Susy at her day job:

Alexandra Eriksson Bikini Booty Could Sell Water to a Drowning Man

And back to the water. The bottled water and the water line. This creepy 138 water company is now doing two-a-days with crazy hot models by land and by sea, always ever showing more and more skin. It’s really something that needs to be investigated by the FCC or the FDA or EPA or something. I’m sure we have a government department for exploring the over-bikinization of America.

I’d stop showing this multitude of merchandising sextastic models, but, just look at the bikini booty on Alexandra Eriksson. How can you not share that with the world? To possess such a perfectly tanned thumper for just yourself, that’s downright criminal. Much like Pez candies or the flu, this is something you have to share with your friends. And all of you, you’re my friends. Though none of you send birthday presents. So not like awesome friends. Enjoy, Alexandra.

Claudia Romani Magical Snorkeling Thumper! I May Not Survive This

I’m not sure just how much more teasing I can take from my future betrothed behind as attached to the hot Latin model Claudia Romani. Every day it seems a new bounty of asstastic thong clad beach pics. And now this. That killer tush snorkeling in the waters off of Miami. An epic derriere rising and falling with the ocean current like a heavenly Neptune’s creation.  If I were a manatee, I’d be trying to mate with that hot thing. That would be magical.

Claudia, someday, when you and I and that thumper are together in a manner recognized by the courts, by our families, and by a magazine that pays for the photos, we shall snorkel together. I will not actually require a mask or a bathing suit now that I think about it. I will not be looking at the fish, I assure you. So damn booty hot! Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Bare Oiled Down Thumper In Your Face, Yeah, That Just Happened

Well, why not just cut to the photographic chase? We all know why we stood in line for the Kim Kardashian exhibition. We want to see her big ole booty. So heck yeah, let’s cut out the small talk, have her drop her drawers, oil that bad boy down, and let the photography session begin. That’s what Paper Magazine figured at least. I have to give them an A on concept. Execution I’ll leave for you to grade.

Kim seems at least self-aware enough to know what she’s selling in her virtual store. It’s her cans. Perhaps nobody in history has ever accomplished as much as Kim has with merely curves and no other apparent talents. It’s a tribute to something through probably ought to be taught in our nation’s schools if we’re to stay ahead of the international success curve. For now, we can just let gravity take its course and draw our retinal cones toward that might thumper, touched up as it may be. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Baby Blue Bikini Booty (And Some Evening Kangoo Boot Bouncy Fun Times)

I don’t know what Kangoo boots are precisely, but I know that after a full day of ogling Claudia Romani and her amazing killer tush in a bikini on Miami Beach, I sure feel like bouncing. Claudia gets to see herself both in and out of her bikinis daily so I can only imagine the spring she feels in her step, and the need to perhaps strap on some dynamic footwear to bound along South Beach after seeing such sites. Oh, my, this is quite the double header of leering.

As you know, I’m working through my elected representatives to promote legislation that would allow me the humane right to marry Claudia Romani’s bikini booty. I believe it’s time for such a liberating expression of lust and baby powdering. When you hear the church bells barely able to cover up the sounds of feral groans not of this planet, then you’ll know I’ve achieved my goal. Just look at that wicked hot bottom, how could you not want to take that on a honeymoon. Enjoy.